Well, I’m the girl everyone thinks is happy. They all come to me with their problems. No one would suspect that I’ve dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts as long as I can remember…
I know the first time I remember wanting to die was when I was 7 years old. When I voiced this thought to my mother, she said she would hit me if I ever said that again.
I remember I was about 12 or 13 when I first started cutting and starving myself. No one thought anything of my rapid weight loss; kids go through stages where they suddenly lose […]
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I can’t remember when I haven’t felt like I am  just waking up because I have to. If it was physically possible just to continue to sleep – I would. I hate facing the day. I drive home hurt and scared and angry every day. I fail as a wife, I fail at being what I feel I should at my job…I am a burden of misery to my best friend whom I ***** to every day. She moves to Germany soon and I know our friendship will fade away. Every day is the same. Most nights during the week I just cry myself to sleep.
People keep […]
I got to me great aunt’s house yesterday, the same time that a guy who looked like he was in college was there. Apparently, he was Katelynn’s boss and best friend. He was giving Katelynn’s violin to my aunt, obviously, I was confused since Katelynn didn’t play violin. At least I didn’t think she did. She played violin. She was in 4 recitals. She had a job. And I never had any idea. I didn’t know that every time she came home late was because she’d been working part-time to buy a violin. I didn’t know she was actually a junk artist, and I don’t […]
I feel as if im trapped in a body, that I can’t escape. I feel like I’m a failure for an unsuccessful suicide attempt. I always look back on that day and wish It worked, I cross roads without fully looking in hope ill get hit. I’m sick of putting on a happy front when I’m a mess inside. Mental illness is such cruel thing to happen to someone, and even though I hate it somehow I delve in it and some part of me wants to suffer, and I can’t understand why. I managed to keep on top of my illness for a steady […]
I’m reaching my breaking point. Last night, I wrote my letter. I plan to do the deed in August. I would do it sooner but I promised a good friend I would help decorate when she moves  in July. Initially, I planned to go out on my 40th bday. You know give myself one last chance to make something of myself and turn this miserable life around but I’m EXHAUSTED –physically, mentally, emotionally.
I got into a good college after high school but I ruined it by dropping out after my junior year. My life has been on a downward spiral ever since then.  I’ve spent the last fifteen […]
I never thought I would be on this site as someone posting from a desperate place, instead of helping out through comments. But life is ironic that way, no?
I just got fired from Walmart tonight for some ridiculous reason. “Oh, you’re too slow. I need to tell you things ten times before you understand.” This isn’t the first time I’ve been fired from a job for these reasons. I’m now 27 years old and I’m thinking that if I can’t find a job in the next little while that I can keep for longer than 90 days, I may as well end it. As Michael Douglas’ character said it in the film “Falling Down”, maybe I’m just not economically viable. Most of my family is dead and no one really gives a damn […]
hi,
I’m new to this site. I was going through a hard time and subconsciously started to look at suicide related links, which lead me here.
I’ve had depression, bulimia and other illnesses like insomnia for about eleven years now. Although I tried and failed to commit suicide about five years ago, I’m generally a cheerful person and eight years with a good counsellor has lead me a long way.
I still have problems holding a job down, but the biggest blow is that the one love I’d been with for five years told me recently that he is marrying someone else. I have no choice but to respect […]
Has anyone here been fired from a job because of their depression and having emotional breakdowns mostly every shift? Â I am too scared to find another job because I don’t want to disappoint anyone else.
I’m wondering if I have enough morphine and to do the job I have a plan I’m going to go to my favorite tree ccliimb it sand od
First let me star off by saying that I am not planning on committing suicide right now. I just do not want to get to that point. I do not know how to express what I am feeling, but I will try to the best of my ability to describe it. I just feel lost, I do not want to do anything anymore. I do not want to move anymore, but I do not want to stay still. I want to live, but I do not want to keep trying to endure this suffering. I have a good family and great friends, just my views […]
I have 2 kids, an intensely stressful career, just got married 2 weeks ago to my best friend. My soulmate… yet I still yearn for an ending. It seems so much more pleasant than dealing with the bs here. I drink to medicate. Then get angry and depressed when drunk. I wake up everyday hating the fact that I have to drag through another day. I want help but Im afraid I will lose my kids, marriage, job. I dont know what to do. Im suffering… have been for years. Horrible abuse as a child, bad relatiomships, past substance abuse. I really need help for […]
I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]
I wish I could get this feeling away from me but suicide pops into my head all day. I’m 21 years old and feel like I have already lived enough. I’m drained. I sit here now typing this in my bed n don’t even have the energy to pick my head up off the pillow. And I did nothing today. Like I do everyday. But suicide seems so nice right now. Like all this stress and sadness gone in a minute. Â But what’s so hard about it is I don’t want to die. When I think about it I just think of my mom n […]
Jladd here as all of you know and i figured you guys would like to hear my story.
My mom never use to be a drunk or violent. She was once a normal beautiful women who would give you the shirt off her back. But that’s not the case now. I have two brothers and a sister. And then one adopted brother and sister. My mother never use to hit me or anything like that but it all started after we moved into our new house and she lost her job. My stepdad was always at work to support us so i never really saw him and […]
Haven’t been on this site for awhile. I was hoping not to come back, but I guess it was unavoidable.
I have a wife, a kid, a car, a mortgage. My wife has dreams. Wife makes twice as much as I do, and I am constantly between jobs. I have no dreams or hopes. I am trying really hard to hold on to my sanity and my job (as both a father and employee) but it is not working anymore and I am tired. I want to get the hell out of here.
I know very well that if I kill myself or divorce, I will destroy […]
The thoughts of suicide their back my life is falling apart again My so called bestfriend yeah I told her I didnt want her in my life anymore why? because shes gone out with my boyfriends that ive gone out with she copies everything I do shes a real diffrent person…Not the one I met…..My other so ccalled bestfriend is taking her side I dont know why tho…..They both talk smack about each other and they both know it My friend Donna and my friend Ema are the only ones by my side because they know angela Everybody else thinks shes a die hard sweet […]
She’s not senile; from what I’ve heard from my father and other family members she’s been unreasonable from the start.
With that said…she adopted me at 9 and has taken care of me since. I’m now 22 and finally moving out in a few months.I’m financially dependent on her which is what she uses to manipulate me. She knows that I’m too overwhelmed to go to school full time and keep a job to support myself so she knows that I must tolerate her unreasonableness or be homeless.
For example, my car is at the mechanic and will be for a few days. She doesn’t drive anymore […]
I hate feeling like this every day. I hate never wanting to get out of bed. I hate knowing that things will never get better no matter how hard I try. I hate knowing that I was doomed from the start to end up like this. I hate how other girls  whine and complain about how terrible their lives are, and yet they have boyfriends. Like, seriously, SHUT UP. At least SOMEONE cares. At least you have enough luck that guys are willing to be seen in public with you and you still have the hope of a happy ending. I have no hope. I have no […]
Hey everyone !
I guess I just need some place safe to share my story before I put an end to it.
I am almost 18 now and since the day I was born I never found anything that was worth living for.
My dad used to beat up my mom , so I would stay with my grandma sometimes , so that I didn’t have to witness it. Growing up my mom ended up finding a way to escape with me and my brothers.
We were okay for a while…
My dad didn’t care about me anymore , and I had serious self esteem issues. […]