Hello to everyone reading my post. I only have two more days that I am able to access my computer, so please share any thoughts you would like. I will not be offended. I lost my fiance to his choice of the exit bag on September 15th of 2011. I was completely blindsided as we were happy and making plans. I woke up to police calls, investigations, and a lot of texts from him declaring his everlasting love. The funny thing is I was always the destined one to go, I believe in a life for a life, and would have gladly given mine. He was […]
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Last Time
I’m close to suicide…
I don’t want to talk to a national crisis therapist or counselor…
Last time I did that I was put on hold because my counselor received another caller… I felt a that point that my life didn’t have real value and I was almost worthless…
I don’t know what thrive I have left to live.
This is my last resort and I’m extremely certain no one is kind enough to help. This will just be conformation that I’m just about pathetic…
I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”
And I am going to […]
Today I left my house For the first time after such a long time. I went to the dentist to get my braces removed, the last time I went was a year ago. I was on anti depression medication and life seemed fine, I was fun to be around at the time. since then I fell of the face of the earth and well most of you know how that feels like.. Well anyway I went to the dentist, my eyes burned from the brightness of the daylight. By the time I got there my eyes looked a mess. I went in to see the […]
I hate repeating myself but i am very stuck and didn’t receive any help the last time i posted about this topic.
I am asking for some advice. I don’t need to be told “Yup. It sucks. Welcome to reality.”
I need help!
Are there any effective treatments out there for Borderline Personality Disorder? I’m worried about my mental health and would prefer to ask someone with personal experience before going to a doctor.
If anyone can help me and give me some advice. It would be really appreciated.
Thanks.
I can’t take my life anymore,I feel like I can’t talk to anyone.When I’m with my ‘friends’ no one can see behind my fake smile and laugh they never think twice about me I’m just the one in the back that nobody cares about.When I’m with my sister she blackmails me and screams at me,my mom yells at me too and is always fighting with my dad,and my dad always ignores me and leaves the house every time he argues with my mom.I can’t decide what’s worse school or home nobody cares in either place and I feel like I’m at the end of my rope because nobody seems […]
Hiya I am a 21year old and since I was about 12 all I have felt is despair and hopelessness. I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I attempted to jump off a bridge last night but just my luck the police turned up. I feel useless I can’t even kill myself properly. They took me to the mental hospital but they didn’t even speak to me just told the police to take me home. So looks like I was right all along I can’t be helped otherwise they would help me right? So it looks like my only option is suicide at […]
I’m starting to really think that it would just be so much better if I was gone. I don’t have anyone, really. I mean, I guess I might, but that’s not the point of anything. I don’t care that I have no friends. That has nothing to do with why I want to end my life. I don’t know what it is. I can’t seem to figure out what has caused all of this, it started a few years ago and I thought it had gone away. I did and I was happy. Actually god damn happy, or so I thought. But, now that I […]
First time postinq.Spoke to my social worker yesterday.I told that I was qonna overdose so I can leave this corrupted world,I told her not to tell my mom but you know yall can’t trust adults.I was stupid enouqh to trust her and well I just went to the hospital in december for depression and suicidal ideation!,now I’m qoinq aqain!I stayed there for six days last time but my social worker says Ima stay there for about two weeks now.It’s not to bad tho exepct for the qroup,there ssssoooo borinq and the sleepinq at nine,dude I’m freakinq seventeen not six!…..I’ve been readinq alot of stories on […]
Haven’t slept for 3 days and I have a feeling this might be the 4th.no ones except me and some kids in my class who was actually concerned about why I’m so tired all the time. Well the first 2 days were spent with me getting yelled at for falling asleep in class do today I decided that I wasn’t gonna get yelled at again,I drank an energy this morning and had a whole bunch of caffeine that kept me up and about all day but I was still out of it.i don’t know what I’m gonna do about tomorrow though just because I’m broke […]
Here i am, 2 and a half months after i fell back into a deep depression. I am young, tired and now ready to pass on to the certain nothingness. I am to talk with the love of my life in a few hours. The very last time I believe I will hear her pulchritudinous voice… I am a young male with OCD, It had lead to a deep depression several years prior. How you may ask, one word, certainty. I am absolutely absessed with certainty, while nothing in life is certain except death. I can only feel comfort when i am certain, my 2 year relationship […]
My dad hates me – he abandoned me. He never wanted me. dad left me and mom when I was about 2 years old so I really don’t remember – but I have a feeling he used to be fun – I seem to remember we used to play and laugh a lot. But I don’t really remember because I was so young. Mom says he left us because he hates us.
I did see dad a few times … the last time I was twelve … I’m 17 now. when I would see him He smiled and laughed and his eyes twinkled like they were […]
you know when you say you hate someone, and then everything they do seems to annoy the fuck out of you?….well thats where i am in my life right now. im at the point that i hate everything i say and do.
 i hate the way i speak, my voice seems too boyish to be a girl. was i meant to be a man?
 i hate the way i walk. was i born with a fucking stick up my ass?
 i hate the way my breasts make my shirts tight. i just wish i was flat chested like everyone else in my family!
 i hate the way i look. […]
I’ve been trying hard to find a good reason that I should live. But, sadly, I couldn’t find one. I don’t wanna make things too complicated, after all, life is smiple. But, what’s a point if I am not happy?  I’ve been suffering from depression for more than 8 years. Nothing can cure me. I can cry several times a day, 7 days a week. My crying makes me so tired, but I just can’t help it. I’ve got no family, no friends, I tried to force myself to talk to others, but I hate it, I’m not confortable with it. I don’t wanna talk to anyone, and […]
I’m done with this site all it has done is give me false hope for happiness when the only way i’ll be happy is if im away from every one except for my future wife i feel she believes i dont love her and that im talking to nothing but girls so this is the last time you’ll here from me Goodnight to all
hi, this is the second time I write, last time I wrote “wanna die”. I still wish I’d just die. just fall over, dead…. I’ve promised a friend of mine that I’ll live untill school starts again, and now I regret. a promise is a promise, can’t break it. my life is spiraling downwards… had to break up with my boyfriend. know it sounds ridiculus, but I’ts true. just realised I was still so in live with the one who dumped me.. he really is’nt even a good person, but I still love him… he know that he ruined the rest of my life whwn […]
So tomorrow will mark a week that my uncle has been gone. I still cant believe that all of this isnt just a dream. My mom is taking it bad and my grandparents a lot worse…but what about me? It seems like everyone is in there own little world and It doesnt matter to them how I feel. It hurts sooo bad!!! I just want to scream…since I wrote the last time I have thought soo much into doing it…but i wont. I think that this is my way of venting my anger and getting the advice that I need to move on…thank you sooo much […]
I guess I’ll start off with a quick synopsis of who I am before I start explaining what is that’s making me feel suicidal. To start my name is Luke, I’m 19 and I live in St. Louis Missouri, have my whole life. I graduated highschool a little over a year ago and I’m currently going to ITT Tech. I’m overall a middle of the road kinda guy on almost everything. B average student, somewhat attractive, funny at times, etc. Just normal.
Anyway as of late I’ve been feeling pretty bad. Actually I haven’t felt this bad in a long time. For some reason I’ve been […]
I realized I could kill myself at a young age. When I grew older, I realized that being suicidal brought attention. Even more older, I realized being suicidal would eventually alienate people. Eventually I realized, My feelings of suicide, were real, and instead of providing help, people would rather compare and challenge my problems with theirs, just to justify they were a bit more troubled than I was. I suppose that’s how my friends justified ignoring me.
I found that when my “symptoms” didn’t fit textbook examples of typical suicidal people, that psychiatrists started shortening my visits, yet still wrote out prescriptions. I found that only […]
If you saw me , met me, got to know me, the last impression you would get from me would be of suicidal tendacies and an evergrowing dependency on otc drugs for helping me sleep or feel good through through the day. Basically I am well mannerred well behaived outwoodly happy like socialble enough to make you believe im basically — ok..    However, I dont remember the last time I was happy. Infact I dont remember even if I ever was happy. I no how to pretend to appear happy. Thats not happy though. I have had friends. Good friends with families that have helped […]