it’s not a good start I know, but I’m on the edge. and I try and try to hold on even when I want to let go.
But, I’m torn. I’m so…torn between letting go and holding on. I’m holding on for the love that burns me whole, for the woman that held me anchored to this earth for almost six years. the more I try and show her my twisted heart the more I push her away into another’s arms. and my heart bleeds. it just makes it all the more harder to keep the promise I made her, to be there for her […]
Tag:
let go
ever feel like you’re losing everything? you watch from a distance, but even from another perspective, you can’t manage to make sense of what’s happening.
so you choose just one thing to hold onto. it doesn’t really matter what it is, but you make it mean everything, because you need something to stay. you need this one thing for the world to revolve around because if the world doesn’t have an axis then what the fuck. you’re too scared to let go, you might fall and you have no idea where you will land.
but happens when you start to doubt that one thing? when […]
I’ve felt empty since my teenage years. And now I’m 24. I never felt disapointed in me, even though I’ve never been happy with myself. More like always on other people. I never have spoken out loud about these things. Vice versa I pretend to be happiest person on this earth. Always cheering people to chase their dreams, whatnot. I never felt that there would be someone that would fully understand me enough. I get always the attention I don’t enjoy to get but don’t show it. Every single night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a such a heartache. I feel […]
I wish I could literally just explode sometimes. People suck truly, we are stupid, naive, selfish beings. And there are people in this world that are aware they are like that and they are perfectly ok with it. I keep having dreams of my ex just these terrible dreams and I wake up feeling the pain from those dreams. There’s things that remind me of us, of him and it makes me angry and hurts me inside. I want so badly to be ok, im tired of the pain of feeling like death would be better than life. I don’t want the bad people in […]
Retrograde, I shed up cause’ I can’t smoke inside the house
God I cannot swear your name, damn the damn dentist
Get the hell out of the damned States from America
Kim Jong of Korea got the terminal through his hole
Before I die, before I die; dude, let’s get a hold of the Rodman!
Damn son of a ***** will kill my life, let’s go comrade
But I’m going back to the Europe
France surrendered already, I heard
They’re so, so beautiful, oh this little boy
As I stood by the wall chilling, came up to me
In […]
I feel as though i keep getting chases to “start over”… however i end up either back in the same place or missing where i was before. I feel like even though i have change of scenery all my baggage (especially of the emotional kind) always keeps me revisiting my past. I need to let go and move on. I dont belive in forgetting your past but for my case I dwell on it so much I need to completely push it back into the “vault” and only revisit the past when I have my head and life together; because right now I am just […]
You ever feel so empty that you begin to suck yourself into this abyss? You wish you could blame them and sometimes you do; but there’s always that tiny little voice that reminds you that it’s actually your fault, that you did this to yourself. And you know that voice is a LIE; you scream it to yourself everyday that that voice is trying to push you past the point of no return, but the voice sounds so right that eventually you think of the nearby overpass and wonder if it would hurt if you fell. And the most stupid thing about all this is […]
Karma
As I sit under this empty tree,
I wonder how life could be so cruel to me.
I give my all to those around,
But karma doesn’t come back and surround.
There are no answers that I can see,
To ease this pain inside of me.
But it will end sooner than you know,
When all I have to do is let go.
I cannot wait for karma to return,
The love for my soul that I most yearn.
All I hope is you learm from this,
To take more care of those you might miss.
D.A
.
.
author- me 2013
I had many more poems, but sadly I lost the only copies when I couldn’t afford my storage shed […]
To let go of all the bad shit in my life, or anything for that matter? Because I can never seem to let go of anything in life and I have no clue why. I had crappy friends that I stopped being friends with and yet they are still in my life I still give them opportunities, like wtf? But last night I realized this isn’t the life I want for myself. I want to be happy have good friends I want to be in love and be with someone who loves me. But I ruin that for myself I met this cool guy and […]
I hate living by the hospital. My apartment just happens to be in between two firehouses, as well. At the bottom of the hill sits the police station. I hate this location.
I thought I would enjoy it, being walking distance to work and the train line. I figured I’d be safer in this part of the community, so close to all emergency services. I assumed it would give me peace of mind. It’s an inevitable contradiction in my soul.
I hear sirens daily, hourly at times, for minutes on end. Where are they going? My roommates and coworkers go about their day, it’s unknown […]
I just mess everything up for myself, I don’t know why I cant just make the right choices for once in my life. I’m clinging on to an ex, hooking up telling him I love him still that I want him to be happy even if it isn’t with me. But I havent let go I can’t and I don’t understand why he won’t let go either. I over think it and wonder if maybe because this time I’m suppose to be strong enough on my own to let go. But I can’t just thinking about it rips me up from the inside out. But […]
My life is a series of fucked up events and people, it’s my own hell. I have been hurt and disappointed so much in my life that I have shut down, I don’t truly trust anyone and I’m emotionally shut off. I was in love once or so I thought, and this past year I lost it all. Family, friends, and the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It’s over been over and yet I still talk to him, everything I keep doing is stupid. I want to let go to just leave all of this behind. […]
I havent drank in a while because it usually ends up very badly for me but tonight, im really needing to just zone out. As I was pulling into my driveway coming back from the liquor store, I saw a wallet in the street. It had a decent amount of cash, some gift cards etc. I could have taken it all and just tossed the wallet in the garbage but, knowing it was the right thing to do, I took it over to the guys house and gave it to him. He was very grateful as most people would be but, unlike how I used […]
More and more as the days go by, I am realizing that the only way i can feel normal or ok again is to not feel at all. I am getting worse and worse and all this pain consumes me more every day. Heres what i need and even though i know none of you, i have no one else i can turn to and trust so hopefully one of you can help me. I need someone whom, when i finally let go, will contact the few people in my life that matter and give them a message for me. yes, i know i could […]
The only thing that burns in Hell is the part of you that won’t let go of your life; your memories, your attachments. They burn ’em all away. But they’re not punishing you, he said. They’re freeing your soul. […] If you’re frightened of dying and holding on, you’ll see devils tearing your life away. But if you’ve made your peace then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth
AN: Another poem here. Thank you for taking the time to read this. The ironic thing about this poem though is that I don’t drink and yet I’m writing about that.Great if someone reviewed, to all those out there who likes to drink, does this poem connect with anyone of you?
Round and round the roulette goes,
will it stop or will it blow?
Slipping into oblivion,
it’s time to drink like the Russians and let go.
It’s time to drink your worth,
and bet your all in this one barrel,
a single shot,
and you might finally get to rot.
Heave ho and we go,
drinking till the sun goes down,
drinking our fill till […]
Oracle, where are you. The apex, so- so long ago.
I have done my time. Now, faith is in the hand.
Do not defect me any longer. You, touch of life.
Grand goddess. Twist the codex, today. One, for transcendence.
A war of heaven versus hell, lost, our beginning.
It makes no sense. Fish, a world without a true leader.
Oh, other woman, take us to the land.
Carrying the boulder, of the world. Heal, to become strong.
But here, but now, forever lost.
Born to protect the world, now the devil’s.
We’ve exiled your alien, do not come back to our planet.
The star […]
There used to be a world for us.
A place to go after paying a monthly tribute.
A place where we could be and do what we want.
Where the struggles and injustices of the day just flow away.
And you can finally just relax and have fun.
But that world is dying; much like that thing you call your life.
That thing where you receive blessings of many blobs of insecurities that in turn spout out more insecurities.
Until finally an ocean is created and those who don’t fit the norm are left on the shore to be labeled as defective.
Marked with names that crash into […]
I don’t know whats going on and I can’t really feel, its like I don’t have any real emotions. The few times I do feel sad I cry because I look at my life and feel like I should be crying. But I only end up crying a few tears and then I feel nothing again. I don’t love, I just remember thinking that I did at some point in my life. My ex and I just fell apart literally we just stopped talking and just pushed each other and I cried but there was never a real ending a real break up. We just […]