Hi,
My name is Izzy. I suffer from severe social anxiety so I don’t have any friends in real life. I’m at a university for my first year of college. I’m suicidal. I would like to make friends on this website.
People say that just having been born is a miracle…but what if your life has just seemed like a constant unrelenting series of break and enters. That’s how I feel. All of my major stages of life right from early childhood have just been marked with catastrophic events. I’ve posted before what’s happened to me so I won’t go into that again <hears cheers>. I’ve had two psychologists tell me that I’m the worse case they’ve seen. One even told me that even though she’s trained not too feel her patient’s pain she told me that my case affected her. That’s no lie. At 53 […]
My mother is never really careful with how she says things. She’s always frank without boundaries and she never understands what’s wrong with that. She has so many hurtful words she already told me that I cannot even remember the worst of them. She has called me names, judged my whole life and according to her, I will never be anything in life.
When she’s mad, she’s mad. She doesn’t care whatever she does or say that will affect anyone. Maybe this is the reason why I’m so sensitive, because those things I never thought I would hear from anyone would come from her. She would […]
I’m the beast of hell
I can’t wait until I’m reborn
Just so that I can die
Walk of life, spirit of death
Let me be reborn, the world already
Dead
Alpha Sebastian, you do not exist
What next.
Still have hope for a better life?
Don’t want to cause pain to loved ones?
Don’t really want to be dead yet and just exploring the possibility of one’s “exit options”?
Use the thought of suicide just to self-sooth the pain?
Ambivalent about dying?
Lack of courage to commit suicide?
Procrastination on suicide?
Afraid of failing your attempt and ending up in a worse state?
Fear of death/hell/afterlife/God’s judgement?
Or something else?
I’m only here because I’m afraid of failing and ending up in a worse state… There are things far worse than death. For instance, my current life. But it would be much, much worse if I end up with brain injury and in […]
I just have no drive or motivation in life anymore. Sure I could improve if I found another job or moved to a new location but whats the point? I’ll still spend the next 40-50 years paying off debts, kissing the arse of some twat so I don’t get fired and then eventually die anyway.
I’ve never been on this site before, but I don’t have anyone to talk to.
Currently I’m 34 weeks pregnant and I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. My husband and I are having issues, He’s become harsh and uncaring about issues I’ve been having during this pregnancy. Due to this I feel as though I’m being pushed to break a promise I made 5 years ago. The day I found out I was pregnant with my first I promised I would never cut again.
Lately that’s all I can think about. I fantasize of the feel of a blade against my […]
i love him a lot he too…but i become so dependent on him it disturbs his life he wants me to be independent but i couldn’t do that..i read many articles..i motivated myself to be independent of him but nothing gives success..i am working as a software engineer i am a passionate girl i love my job ..i have a variety of hobbies..good parents brother friends..but the new office environment and hostel environment makes me to feel lonely ..i couldn’t manage this loneliness that’s why become too much dependent on him and moreover he made me to be dependent on him..he voluntarily involved himself and […]
i thought I was doing well. I thought I had been able to overcome some aspects of depression and hit art a new, better life. But one bad day brought me back to the point I was at over a year ago. One. Bad. Day.
I think that all humans are essentially ‘evil’, and by that, I mean selfish, among other commonly presumed negative things. Generally, I also believe that people are submissive and ignorant. I don’t think I’m really that different, but I’m aware of my own shortcomings. Why keep living when humans don’t care for one another, and when love is just a temporary high? I know my purpose in life is to work for people and receive happiness from making money, and live a life that I had no choice to experience, nor can I live a life I want, for I want nothing. I don’t even […]
So there’s this woman I *REALLY* like. We have a ton of things in common, too. It only sucks that I met her a month and a half ago. I feel like I’ve been there through her entire life — I wish I had been there though her life. It would make how I feel about her a bit more rational.
Ugh, I feel weird about liking her. I as I said, it’s only been a month since I met her. I saw this picture of her, and I swear to the gods above it was love at first sight for me. I wanted to know […]
I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and […]
It’s starting to smell
Should I follow the plan
The walking feet of life
We will conquer the land
God of the sky, Zeus
Ultimate Hercules
One day when I am free
And it’s just me
Finally, the twisted curse over
I heard some weird sounds
There’s only one thing now
Gotta’ get the fuck out
Is it one month or three more days
The earth, I feel, rock of ocean
The water beats but not my mother
Nobody
It was all our curse. Bide the time.
I assemble pieces of me life together every morning. Pieces that are so fragile I’m afraid they won’t last for long. They don’t even fit well anymore. There are so many pieces missing,lost some where along the way.
I go through life carefully trying to keep the pieces together.
And every night as I get home the pieces silently fall apart. Maybe tomorrow there will be no more pieces left to assmble.
It’s been such a long time. Just by being back here I feel all the hidden pain come rushing to the surface. It’s fimilar, almost comforting.
I’m ashamed to be here. Understanding my depression, and facing it head on, was my greatest downfall in life. Yet somehow, I tamed the beast. I lived two years of happiness. Oh god, it was purely amazing. Looking back, it was remarkable, something I’d never thought possible. I cannot say that I’m angry it’s over, there’s no self pity here. I am grateful for the time I was given. I always knew in the back of my mind, that my […]
If we weren’t created by God or some other third party creator, Humanity is essentially the result of a bunch of genetic changes gone haywire, which resulted in most likely unwanted mutations (evolution). In short, humanity is one giant genetic cluster*****.
So if we just “got here”, then life technically doesn’t have a purpose, so life is technically meaningless.
That being said, we are here now, so we may as well do something. Who cares about making a mark on the world. I’m just going to do what I’ve always done: “Suck eternally!”
I really worry that nothing could be wrong with me. Unlike most people, I don’t experience typical signs of depression. I don’t feel inferior to others or feel sad all day. I just feel like there is no point to life, and therefore, I want to end it because I am going to die sooner or later, and nothing I accomplish has any inherent value. I have a generally negative outlook on life, but I also believe I am more aware of global issues than my family. My stepfather is a hotheaded, homophobic racist. My mother is quite the average see-what-I-want-to-see Christian. She’s wearing rose-tinted […]
I survived a rather serious attempt on my own life almost exactly 15 years ago. To be honest, there have been a lot of times since that I have felt truly sorry I failed. Unfortunately, it seems like this is more and more the case.
At any rate, I thought I would try to participate in this community a bit. If you are reading this, you are already probably aware that “normal” people don’t understand what this is like. Indeed, they freak out. Maybe there will be […]
I just realized that I hate myself that I can not forgive myself. That’s not the worst part the worst is that I don’t let myself live life I cage myself up because I am a coward. I am afraid of getting hurt so afraid that I probably ruined a possible new relationship whether it was as friends or as lovers. I push people away I push myself away because I don’t trust anyone around me I don’t even trust myself. Because people have always hurt me and I have always let myself get hurt. It’s so unfair how I can easily love and forgive […]
I wanna end this life and The Golden Gate Bridge is my only solution. I would try other suicide methods, but heights are on the borderline, im not scared of heights. Why can’t I do it?