Please I ask of thee, but listen to me and tell me ,if Iam mad. Life around us is in toil and pain ,sleep is short. Leaving me alone, to pounder the ifs and what’s ,where and why. when is my mine ever  going to see peace in my waking day . Was I born this way? to walk amuck the stranger an imperfect human. Mocking my way, and wondering. who is that strange person.  Nor do I look and ask the same, from my point of view. Long Days and Nights have past.  has it gone ,what is it that I am supposed to […]
I was only 6 years old when I was told I was to fat and my grandparents bribed me with $100 to lose 20 pounds… I did but little id I know this was just the beginning to my eating disorder…. Threw out schooling all the kids forced me to go on diets so I would look how they wanted and be like them so they did’t haft to been seen with ugly old me… After a while my parents joined into the torment… for as long as I can remeber I binged my problems away.. around grade 4 I started starving myself to be […]
Hello, I’m portuguese, I’m fourteen years old, and I have pretty much whatever a fourteen-year-old kid would want: I have a PlayStation, a PSP, my own laptop, but I still feel like I have nothing.
My parents had a divorce when I was just eight years old, so my mum is allways saying bad things abou my dad, but on the few times, that my dad calls me, to ask if I want to go lunch with him, he never says anything bad about my mum, and that really makes me angry with my mum.
But I don’t think that it was it that makes me feel […]
It isn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I apologize in the case that I actually do. Let’s just face it, I’m not cut out for living. I can’t do things right, I’m useless to my parents, I’m only someone to make fun of, and I’m just hated by a lot of people.
My mom, Kathy, she constantly makes remarks proving just how useless I am. For example, we would walk into the Air Force Academy Clothing Sales store, she would see those stupid “My daughter goes to the Air Force Academy†bumper stickers, and she would make the comment: “I wish I could put that […]
I don’t really know what else i can do anymore. Cameron died almost exactly a year ago (September 8 2013) and I am STILL not over it. I’ve gone to all the groups, I’ve been hospitalized for PTSD, I’ve got a new boyfriend who treats me like gold, I go out, I don’t talk about it all the time anymore. What else can I do to make it feel better.
The thing you have to know is Cameron and I were very much in […]
 
  Sometimes I can’t stand to see my own reflection. I can’t seem to see that the person in the mirror is me. I try to not look but when I do I suddenly break down, the world crashes around me. I am unable to do what I normally would which is distance myself from everyone and fade away into my own place. It feels like everyone is screaming at me. […]
I’m writing this because i want to get my story out.
I don’t want anyone’s sympathy or help, I want my story out so if something ever happens to me, at least my story is public and people know why I did it.
As a first thing I’d like to make note of the fact that I do NOT want to kill myself! It just seems like the only way out of my misery. And it’s been that way for quite a while already.
At first i laughed at myself for having a quickly fading suicide moment. (wich smart and sane person wouldn’t?) but after a few years, […]
I don’t have to much screwed up in my life but i still feel like i serve no purpose and every time i think about it i know that there’s gonna be someone whos happy that im gone. but every time i think this i remember my life a year ago. at that time i was on so much bullshit. I judged people on how they looked and i just walked around acting like i knew everything and just didn’t care and didn’t see and deep meaning in life and just treated it like something that was a joke. then the week of my birthday […]
A gut pull drag on me
Into the chasm gaping we
Mirrors multi reflecting this
Between spunk stained sheet
And odourous whim
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlQU_7YU6HI
Calmer eye flick shudder within
Assist me to walk away in sin
Where is the string that Theseus laid
Find me out this labyrinth place
Yin and Yang lumber punch
Go taste a tart then eat my lunch
And force my slender thin and lean
In this solemn place of fill wetting dreams
Of black matted lace and pregnant cows
As life maps out onto my brow
The card is lowered in index turn
Into my filing cabinet
Hemispheres burn
I had a good day today. I went for a walk, came home and cooked lunch for myself. If I have good days like these, it means I won’t be killing myself for a very very long time. If all goes well, I’ll be an old woman when I die, even if by suicide.
My name is Richelle. I am 13 years old, living in Sydney, Australia. This is my first post. The start of my depression began, in my opinion, around the age of 8. I had no friends, so I talked to the school counselor, Wendy, whenever I could. We played Go Fish or Snap and talked all lunch. She was my best friend, and I thought she was so beautiful. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
The day before my 9th birthday was my last day with her. She said even tho the next day was her day off, she’d come anyway so […]
You haven’t slept at home for over two and half years, and I get it i’m 16 now but this started when I was 13 and a half. I don’t need you know because I’ve learned to do this myself to wake up every morning at six and shower, make my lunch, get ready and then wait for you too show up and drive me to school. You evolve everything around your boyfriend. I really just want you home. I want a mom I can talk to about the gossip going around school about the boy I like and anything. “Dads” been out of the […]
I never thought that the people i watched on the tv in health class could one day be me. I never thought i would feel so helpless that i would want to die. But i do…and have attempted sciucide three times, each time i have either been stopped by someone, or it just didnt work. I think that this depression, or feelings of depression came about the start of my 9th grade year. Everyone has a group of friends, i was too unsocial to join one and now im too late, everyone always says; oh wow your so funny or you crack me up, but […]
All my parents do is make me feel like im not good enough. im sorry i cant be their perfect child. It’s hard trying to keep them happy.
My friends have all became distant. I sit alone on the bus and at lunch. None of them understand. I’ve tried telling them but they dont help. Only i can help myself, i understand that. but i dont know how. im lost.
I told my boyfriend my whole story once. the reason i started cutting. why im suicidal. why im always crying when he calls me late at night. I told him all of my secrets. He made me […]
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
Today was the first time that I ever tried to skip school. I’ve been so depressed lately, so I decided that I was going to take a nice break. I was going to go on a train downtown, watch a movie, get something nice for lunch, and I had an elaborate plan worked out that almost worked… until my mom saw me on the way there. I wound up being taken back to school and got sent to the guidance counsellor’s office where I, wisely I may add, did not admit to any suicidal thoughts. Believe me, though, when I say that killing myself right now […]
If there’s something I could change about myself  I wish I wasn’t soo sensitive and that things wouldn’t get to me. Yesterday at school something someone said got to me and what they said wouldn’t usually bother me. The people at lunch I usually sit with(which is only 20 minutes) kicked me out of the table and said “we don’t really know you and don’t understand why you sit with us considering you’re a sophomore and we’re freshman and you have plenty of friends in school so I don’t see why you sit with us and you don’t really talk” the thing is that isn’t […]
Unlike most kids, some nursery rhymes haunted me. One of those is Row Your Boat. It’s almost like… I don’t know. It’s almost like it’s about a depressed person, just going through life, feeling like it’s just a dream. That’s definitely how it feels now to me. Every second is just a dream. I’ll probably wake up soon, and I’ll be 8 again. My grandpa won’t die, and life will be perfect. Trevor will never have existed. Lacey won’t die. Nana won’t hate me. My mom will be proud of me. Maybe I can do something. But then again, I don’t want this to be […]
I have always wanted a best friend, and the only thing close to that was this girl named Breanna*, but she got mad a lot at me for not thinking the was she does and she had another group she would hang around with and i dont think they liked me because in a way i was a higher class then them but i never saw people as classes i just saw them for who they were. Anyway back to my point, it is not like i dont have any friends, but these friends are more like, how would you put it.. acquaintance. Everyone seems to […]
Lately I’ve been feeling lonely. I realized that I have no one in my life, I can talk about my feelings. I want to tell my family what going on with me and try to get help, but I feel like I’m going to be judge. At school I have no one, I spend my breaks and lunch in the bathroom stall. I have no one who I can truly express my feelings without feeling judge. Sometime I want to end my life so I can feel free and have no worries but I then start to think about my mom and my family and […]
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