Being completely alone…it sucks. All of my friends have pretty much stopped talking to me, and they never want to spend time with me. In that time, i tried to get closer to my family…but they would rather watch tv than talk to me. I turn 18 next month, and i’m pushing myself to go on, see if anything gets better after i move out and start college. But i doubt things will change. I keep asking myself “What’s wrong with me?”. I’m pushing myself to keep going because i don’t want to be just another teen suicide story. There’s been too many of those. […]
Tag:
Mental Hospital
I like how I can vent about how I’m going to try and suffocate myself tonight. Nobody on here knows who I am. I have the perfect life. Loving family, no real reason to kill myself. Yeah,but I’m delusional. I Am insane. My parents think I’m the happy perfect child with straight A’s but no,I’m not. I have no friends and I barely am able to get up in the morning and go to school another day. I don’t live,I survive. So I decided to die.I’m not sure if ill go to hell or if atheists are right. I’m a very messed up person. My […]
I tried killing myself yesterday.I onlt took 5 ibupropens i would of took more but ran out.I knew it probally would not kill me.But i just wanted to get away.I dont know how to tell my parents i know i need help.But also could it land me in a mental hospital?
So this is my first story here…
I’m 20 years old and have been thinking about suicide since I was about 7
(yes, for real)
Thing is, back then, I was also happy… The biggest problems I had were
“my brother ate my chocolate” and so on… And well, now, with getting older, encountering other *more severe* problems in life, they still don’t get to me in a way that I would want to kill myself because of them. As said in the title, I’m a quite happy person.
But in all these years, all this time, there is a constant need to end it all…
My urge to […]
In my last little ‘True story’ I wrote, I talked of a girl named Ashley. She was once a very beautiful tomboy brunette in elementary school. By high school, Ashley was replaced by a girl who is sex- crazed and drug addicted. She tried to get me in trouble, by trying to get me to go to the mall for homecoming tux. I ended up not going, and it was a good decision not to go.
Anyways, this story is about weed/pot (I can’t tell the difference between them.), my dad, and my cousin. Because I hate my cousin so, I’ll use her real name; Hailey.
A […]
I remember being afraid just to tell people that I got sad at times. They don’t care. They don’t want to be bothered with any of that.
Then it became depression, suicidal thoughts. I didn’t tell a soul. I bit my tongue. I held it in.
It got worse. I Couldent even function.
I asked for help when all they wanted to hear was that I did all of this for attention.
That I cut and made sure to never let the skin be visible.
That I lost the will to live, all for attention.
Therapy. Meds. They give you meds that make you […]
Lets see how much of this I can say without crying…
When I was 3 I moved from Michigan to Indiana because my parents got divorced. My mother immeadiatly got custody of me and my bother and sister. 3 years later my dad got remairred to a woman named Stephanie. She was nice most of the time, some of the time she was just awful. When my dad was gone she would scream and throw things. She secretly hated my father. All she wanted was a baby, but he couldn’t give her that. We all knew about this, but he never realized it. One night, […]
I used this website for a bit and it helped some to communicate with people who can understand the struggle of depression. i think i managed to be okay for two years.. but i had a downfall and im not really sure what exactly caused it but the point is.. im back and personally it got way worse.. i had mentioned how i had tried taking my life but i dont remember ever doing some of the things i have done in the past months.. almost a year already that i guess “the cycle” came back. ive actually reached out to professionals and i went […]
so lately my friends have been noticing my scars from cutting and theyre questioning it. theyre always talking about how stupid cutting is and how depressed people are crazy and need to be in a mental hospital so i cant tell them the truth about the scars so i need some good excuses, i ve been using “my cat attacked me” story but its not working that well anymore since thats what i always say so any excuses i could use???
Please do not report me and get me taken into the mental hospital. I just spent 49 days and nights in the hospital over the summer and I had to self-catheterize on the psych ward in very unsanitary conditions. I contracted an infection immediately and had to struggle to get Cipro to treat the infection. This is my dilemma: I want to go to the hospital for the company of people, but it is risky for my physical health.
When I apologized to you the other day in case my inquiry had upset you, I had not yet seen your comment. Yesterday I saw it and read it and I felt hurt again even though I know I am not responsible for your hurt, but we are all in this thing together, and I just feel bad and think in the future I must be even more careful about asking people here questions. I cannot seem to find your comment in order to reply to it there, so I am doing it here. Even if we can consider it healing therapy to hurt and cry, I still feel […]
I want to scream. Scream until I lose my voice. I have no way to communicate with anyone who I can actually talk to for a few weeks. Cole is in a mental hospital, so there goes person number one. My mom took my phone, so there goes Devin, Andrew, and well those are the only people I can talk to.
I would have been able to talk to cole during visit and calling hours, but no. I don’t have my fucking phone. Why? because my mom was explaining something to me for the third time, even though i already understood. So I tell her she […]
it feels as though im in a thick blanket of cold and darkness all alone with no one to help me. i have many people there for me, my friends, my boyfriend, even my sister, but it seems like their help is no use to me. i try to accept it, i try to explain to them how i am feeling but they fail to understand me. they dont get me and how i am and i feel. its as if me telling them everything is useless. i dont like telling them everything but they want to know and all i want is for them […]
Its come to my conclusion that i am going to try and off myself again.Im scared to death cause its a past method im using one that almost killed me.Im scared to death of doing this.But that little short lived happy time is over.Its left me and its always going to come and then not be there and i cant stand that.I am filth thats all i am while im alive.
The method will be successful this time.I would check myself into a mental hospital but there all crappy except the one i recently came from.That is to far away to go to.
I dont […]
I feel… dirty. All of my friends call me innocent but they don’t understand. They rely on me to help them through their issues and I always try but how am I supposed to help them if I can’t even help myself? I have… family issues. When I was about three, my family adopted four kids: Amanda, Jason, Jacob, and Anthony. Anthony would undress me and I’d always be to week and scared to stop him. He would sneak into my room at night and pin me down. He did this for more than half of my life. If it weren’t for my parents, he would’ve done it […]
i shouldnt feel this way. i got rid of all those feelings when i left my old school. i have new friends, a new identity, a new school and a fresh start.  then why do i still feel like this. I just float through life everyday, a lifeless burden to myself.  I hate everything that i am, i hate everything that i do, have done and probably will do. i walk around school with this label “smiler” because im always smiling!
“hey smiler!” “right smiler!” dont they know its all a cover? a front if you will? Im alone, scared, cutting and dying inside. I respect myself […]
The trigger – my long-term partner ending things. Not a unique trigger and millions go through this each year. So I’m told, so I tell myself. They can get through it, why can’t I? Slowly but perceptibly I feel myself going down and further down. My thoughts are racing, are dead, I have no idea what I’m doing. I can’t eat and can sleep only with sleeping pills. I begin cutting myself and have NO IDEA where that came from. Cuts all over my arms, then my legs. Sleeves cover it all. Random thoughts of suicide pop into my mind until one day at work […]
so this site edited my last post, kind of pissed me off…but anyway..
Im here, somehow. I almost went to the mental hospital again, but my psych just increased one of my meds. Do i still think of suicide? Yes. Do i want to do it? Im not sure.
I think about it all the time…but im scared.
I do honestly feel thought that i have spent enough time here on this earth. I dont want to live everyday a mentally ill wreck.
I wrote a few notes already, but ive tucked them away. I just sob until i fall asleep.
Theres two things that can happen to me at […]
My name is Brittnee and I am 20 years old! I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and sentenced to a life of medication and therapist analyzing my every thought and move! I have been a cutter for 6 years and after my recent suicide attempt my parents made me move back home and my mother does a ~fresh cut check~ every single night. That’s where I have to go into her room and strip down to my bra and panties and she checks my body for new cuts! It’s humiliating. If I do have new cuts I am taken to the behavioral health […]
So I woke up another morning. I saw my therapist this morning and told her nothing of my plans to kill myself or how bad the urge has gotten. How much I think about death. That I don’t see myself making it another month. What’s the point in counseling?? You can’t be honest…you tell them that you want to die and you will be thrown in a mental hospital which in my experience does nothing but make you wanna cut more and wanna die. I’ve done what I was supposed to do..i got “help”, I take the medicine everyday and I do all the coping […]