For the past 2 years, I’m 14 by the way, I’ve been dealing with depression. Major depression. I remember even when I was 12, when everything started- there would be voices in my head that called me so many things that it would be impossible to get them out. Even with counseling, no matter what I poured out it was never enough. There was this big empty gap in my soul and every second, every minute, and every hour of my life it would just keep getting bigger. Last year, I found myself completely gone. I went hysteric and I tried to commit suicide. The […]
Tag:
Mistake
WHO CARES I DON’T UNDERSTAND!
Why do I come to this God damn website searching for a little hope? Why do I do this to myself? Why can’t I just be happy what is the fucking point? Why can’t I just move on with my life. I care. I care so much. But do they care? Do my friends and family really care? Does my boyfriend really care? Or is this some fucking pity thing? HA. My boyfriend. What a wonderful guy. He’s so up fucking beat, and I am so off beat. What is wrong with me? It seems almost as if I can […]
First let me say this is my first post on this website. This is my first time even on this website. If I’m posting this in the wrong forum or doing anything wrong I’m sorry.
Hi… my name is Chanc. I’m twenty three years old and from Arkansas. I live with my partner of three years in our own home. I have two dogs and no children. I was raised by my mother and paternal grandparents. My father left when I was an infant, and we’ve had a very distant and strained relationship ever since. He’s a decent enough man that enjoys alcohol and dislikes responsibility. […]
My mom and dad split when i was 4 because he was addicted to crack. I didn’t see him again til i was 10. Now he has a wife and step kids.i’m not important to him anymore. He lives in a huge house and he’s a successful psychiatric. But he’s to selfish to even pay for my insurance. So i have a disease that went untreated for 2 years. I am now permanently deaf in my right ear. and he doesn’t event know. Because he doesn’t call.
The only thing that’s making me feel any better right now is the song a trophy fathers trophy […]
It would seem as though I have a lot. Well-off family, decently attractive, intelligent…the list goes on. Sometimes, I feel like such an asshole for even feeling lousy when so many people in the world are suffering and have none of the things I have. But I just cant find a way to be happy.
I was adopted, so I don’t even know my medical history. Depression in the family? Who knows. I am 22 now and should be graduating from college, but I have transferred twice and can’t connect socially with anyone, anywhere. Everyone thinks I am super smart and know everything, but then why […]
Feet don’t fail me now
Take me to the finish line
All my heart, it breaks every step that I take
But I’m hoping that the gates,
They’ll tell me that you’re mine
Walking through the city streets
Is it by mistake or design?
I feel so alone on a Friday night
Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine
It’s like I told you honey
Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry
Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough
I don’t know why
Keep making me laugh,
Let’s go get high
The road is long, we […]
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
May 5 2012 Day 1
Today I had an idea. It is a good idea I think. From this day I will stay sober! There is this really disgusting habit(addiction) I have and I do believe it influenced my life in a way I never imagined. I know I can’t get the girl I love, even if I stay sober now for ever, but I can help myself a lot. I hope my emotional roller coaster will stop. It is not a serious problem, nothing life threating, but my addiction is bad for me. Very bad. I am feeling so sick every time after I lived […]
I have this friend, he’s awesome. And sometimes I actually let him in, emotionally. I don’t do that to anybody. I hide my feelings fairly well unless instigated. He’s getting fed up with my lack of concern towards myself. I wish I could just be like, “I’m really just venting, let me freak out. It’s fine, I’m not going to cut up.”. But alas here I am, getting all guilted up because I can’t change who I am. I’m completely worthless. Don’t try to tell me I’m not, I know the truth. I can’t literally remember a moment that didn’t end in guilt or shame. […]
I am surrounded by people yet I am so lonely, my husband doesn’t love me, thenonlynman that did is dead, my dad, my mom adores my brother that have taken from me my life, money love and I work hard for everything. My own husband doesn’t provide for me less emotionally. I a a piece of meat. I’m lost so tired I just wishnJesus would come for me. It was a mistake to be born. I don’t fit in and I am worthless to all. Now my greatest joy mynjob isntakingnanchange formthenworse, and all I have is a computer to type and hope that […]
i dont feel like i belong anywhere in this society. im struggling with my art and life… i practically dont even have a love life… when im with my friends i feel left out like a lost my connections with them like im in a different world… i already know im not apart of my family… im what you would call the black sheep in the heard… my dad despises me because im nothing like him…. just today we got into a fight because i said i was not commuting all the way to wounderland andi told him.. well more like reminded him im alergic […]
As i sit here i am playing “Born to Be Somebody” by Justin. Ive been listening to it for about 30 minutes now. ive never been one who’s into his music, but this song is helping me with my broken wings.
I am so tired, emotionally drained, mentally exhausted, just everything in me is tired. I wake up each and everyday and i plant a smile on my face. what else can i do? i was born into a family of strong christian faith and this, my feelings, my broken wings are not acceptable. So i hide. Smiling in my mother’s face like a hypocrite, laughing […]
i used to believe in so many things. i believed in happiness. i believed in happy endings. i believed in miracles. i even believed in destiny. but now i don’t even know what the word ” believe ” means. my parents are divorcing and i’m realizing that no one actually really cared about me. not even a little bit. not even at all. because they don’t know understand how much it hurts to be the messed up one. the mistake. the failure. i’ve got no reason to be watched. i’ve got nothing special. i’m just .. broken. i don’t think it’s even possible to […]
I don’t really know how to tell anyone these things but I’m at breaking point, I can’t find comfort from the only two people who stick by me…
I’m fifteen years old and I get bullied every day at school for being ‘Emo’ I don’t understand why. They don’t know my past..
When I was younger my Mom and Dad would argue a lot, I’d end up crying myself to sleep wishing that they could just get along, That was until my Dad started hitting me, at first it would be on rare occasions then it was every night. I was so scared even now I’m scared […]
I made a mistake — the biggest of my life — and I hurt the love of my life. I hurt her more so than anyone has ever hurt her. It’s been over a year since I initially hurt her; over a year since I’ve seen her; over a year since our last departing hug. But, she won’t forgive me; she won’t see me; she won’t talk to me.
I tried to kill myself to get her attention when she was going through her own problems. I emotionally raped her.
The only thing I want in life is to have a life with her. But, […]
I’ve always felt out of place in this world. Someone somewhere made a mistake. I don’t belong here. And I’ve always felt it.
I made one unsuccessful attempt to leave. It happened seven years ago. I was so angry when I woke up and was still breathing. Then, for a short time I thought maybe I can stay here after all.
But I was wrong to ever think that. I’ve always known deep down I didn’t have it in me to make it….to live a full life. I accepted it when I was just a boy. Now I’m 32, and I am getting more and more […]
Hi. My life story? I’m fourteen years old. My parents are divorcing, and I know it’s because of me, I was their mistake. My dad wanted kids at first, but my mom didn’t, now neither of them really want me. I have friends, and I seem like a normal crazy teenager. But hey, a smile can’t hide everything. My uncle committed suicide. I’ve thought about it many times. The only thing holding is my best friend, her brother died a few years ago. She has thoughts of suicide too. My words have always stopped her, I just wish that I could believe them myself. I’m […]
What’s there left to it? Or shall I say – what did it have in the first place? It seems as though we’ve  instantly been  preconditioned into thinking that life is a “gift” and should be cherished wholeheartedly. Well, you can take this garbage gift and get your refund, ’cause I don’t want it anymore, and never have wanted it. There is nothing “beautiful” or “magnificent” about “life” – I’ve seen more spontaneous things in the toilet bowl. What’s the point of carrying out what’s already been planned? Go to school, work, marry, have children, retire, die. We’re supposed to be satisfied by what exactly – […]
Well it looks like I finally crossed the line. Â My doctor got photos of my leg. Â It’s in pretty bad shape. Â They’re sending me to the hospital. Â Those of you who know me know I find this to be a huge mistake of a decision. Â I hope you guys can talk to me for a bit because i won’t be on for at least a week. Â i keep cutting and cutting because I know they are taking it all away from me soon. Â i wish i had pills and could just get out of here. Â my mom is going to be so mad. Â I don’t […]
I feel like I’m living by myself, no one seems to understand this pain I feel. Sitting here with a blade in hand wanting “my fix”. All I want is this pain to go away. I wanna be happy, like I fake all the time. My fiance doesn’t even no how i feel. He won’t listen to me when I’m down. He just tells me.to stop thinking about it. its hard to when all u think about is being a mistake, a burden a piece of shit, absolutely nothing. I’m empty, im dead in side