I just needed to throw up so i drank nailpolish remover, hair heat protectant, and ate what my mom told me was a poisonous flower. Don’t drink nail polish remover it is Horrible, and you will not be able to drink enough to make you sick. even along with other harmful things. I didnt feel well the whole school day it was pretty awful and it was all for nothing.
Tag:
Mom
I cant breath I cry and I am facing a pillow I ralize I cant breath and I am holding my breath half of my mind is telling me its okay and my body is screaming WHAT ARE U DOING START BREATHINGSTOP BEING STUPID AND IS CUSSING I looked info on suicide and how people act I noticed I am like that ii cry and say how did I get here and I realize my mom is a drunk and druggie she dint even care enough when I was in her stomach to not do drugs not me or my lil sist. but my […]
Hi friends.
Many of us on here have experienced a tremendous amount of tragedy and loss in our lives unfortunately. I wanted to share with you what I went through, and how it changed my life.
It all started on January 15, 2011. That morning, my parents had taken my 9-year-old cat Tiger to the vet. During the past few days, we noticed that he had become more distant from us, and began to suffer weight loss and smell odd. He also was found in places we normally didn’t find him, mainly my parents’ bathroom. However, being the foolish optimist that I was at the time, I […]
See- prom is coming up. Every year I go to prom with my friends and I have a great time. I don’t think this year will be fun. I’ve got a stressed head thinking about my final grades, college programming, summer job possibilities, dealing with family (cancer patients, old with broken bones, trying to live my life for me), and the person I love and whether or not we are going to get back together. If this were a movie, then I would exit prom drunk and happy with my friends and when he tried to take me back, I would either throw up on […]
my names shavon. im 15. i feel like one of those people from alcoholics anonymous. but really im suicide anonymous. i tried to commit suicide before. my arms are full of scars. my mom started physically and emotionally abusing me when i was 8. ever since then ive been looking for someone that could help me. nobody in my family helped me. i had a boyfriend named kody. and he used me and took my virginity. i tried to kill myself and he didnt even text me at all while i was in the hospital. i pushed my way through to recovery and got over […]
i don’t even know why i’m on here. it’s not like people want to know about me anyways, but ohkay. i’m cat and i turn 15 in november. i’ve been suffering with OCD, depression, anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). the body dysmorphic disorder is the worst because i got homeschooled because of it. i would sit there and stare at myself for hours and cry when i should be getting ready. i would punch myself in the face or wrists and pull my hair or skin. i started out just being constantly late to school, but now i’m so afraid of people seeing me […]
I was at the age of 12 when the bullying started. It was a group of my now former best friends, who would taunt and ridicule me-leaving the young me to feel loneliness and depression. I thought about suicide a lot at 12.
I went on to middle school, where I became a stereotypical nerd. I had very little friends and would often find myself picked last in gym class (yes, things like this actually happened to nerds lol). In my last year of middle school I made it a mission to stay as invisible as possible-I had several friends, never spoke up in class-and almost […]
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
I feel like the reason I like the suicide project is because I can write my true feelings. Â Usually I keep them bottled up. Â I know my dad has advanced diabetes and my mom just lost her mom and then her little sister and she feels helpless so I cant really tell them “hey I have serious depression, I lay in the fetal position and cry and wish for it to be over” Â That doesnt help them. Â So I try to keep going and then what happens my sister starts a fight with me over shit that has nothing to do with me. Â So I […]
I have always wished
not to end up like this.
Alone, drinking away my life,
my sanity at the edge of a knife.
My mom went through this,
for far better reasons than I.
And then she O. D. ‘d.
Am I destined to die?
To pity myself when so many suffer,
is the prison I’ve made, like no other.
I drink to drink, and smoke to forget,
this life I live is full of regret.
Do with life what you can,
as you play with only one hand.
Say and feel what you please,
Heed my words and win with ease.
The knife cuts deep. Blood starts to rush out. He doesn’t know why he’s doing it, he just knows that the pain feels oh so good. It makes him feel alive. It helps him know that he hasn’t gone completely numb. That some parts of him still have feeling left long after its left everywhere else.
Not that it matters anymore.
This probably wasn’t the best time or place for it, but he didn’t feel like there was a time or place for anything anymore. Everyone else had fell asleep a long time ago, and his dad had left for work, so he’d been left to himself. […]
people want to act like there all big and bad but really in the inside there small and little and and i cant wait i iam not scared i am putting my self oout there i want to scream and i want to cry and let my anger and sadness out why i want to yell and wht did i do for this i owant to bleed because in reality ill be bleeding out what i feel but i dont want to let my love down he is the most important thing to me i hope hes not using me when i cut myself on […]
ive been thinking about this scince pi was born my aunt will hit me when i went to go live with her and my mom well i was a mistake to begin with i dont know if i can do this i live for my baby sister and my love but in reality im dieing i tried to drink hydrogen proixde but my best freiend dumped it out on the grass i was putting it in my mouth she thought i wasent gonna do it and i risk everything everyday living people will be like if u do that u will do that and i […]
i havent been on in a while… about a month..
well uhm…
the bulling started to go away..
i felt happier..
i felt good ..
but then..
one person diddent like that…
they started it back up..
im constantly bullied now..
atleast once in every class every day..
i dont want to tell my mom because she doesent understand..
my mother adn sisster act like their higher adn better then others and their not..
ive cried alot more lately..
i feel really down lately..
and i just dont really know how to describe the rest…
i feel really bullied…
and theirs noone i can tell everything to ..
or atleast what i want to tell..
i keep inside alot of things..
im just kinda […]
Today was the first time that I ever tried to skip school. I’ve been so depressed lately, so I decided that I was going to take a nice break. I was going to go on a train downtown, watch a movie, get something nice for lunch, and I had an elaborate plan worked out that almost worked… until my mom saw me on the way there. I wound up being taken back to school and got sent to the guidance counsellor’s office where I, wisely I may add, did not admit to any suicidal thoughts. Believe me, though, when I say that killing myself right now […]
When I was younger, I was molested and beaten almost daily by my older sister who I idolized and looked up to. My parents would blame me for her violent episodes, saying that I provoked her. Whenever I would fight back, I’d be punished, by spankings with a belt, or they would take away things that were important to me.
Later on, my sister told my parents that I was the one who instigated the molestation. It was a very, very shameful night, me, sitting at the table with my family, my sister crying crocodile tears of guilt at 15 years of […]
Feeling overwhelmed again and feel that crazy need to DO something; so I am going to write as honestly as I can in hope of clearing my head and maybe helping others to not feel so alone..
I am 19 years old, going to a community college in hopes of learning everything I can about computers and eventually getting a PhD. (programming and hacking take me to a different place, a place where I am extremely intrigued and life actually seems interesting because there is so much to it.)Â Normally I just get tired of waking up to the same routine everyday, not so much that […]
So I’m 14, I know too young to be feeling this way. But I have no confidence I cant stand looking in the mirror I hate myself. I’ve been breaking down a lot, nothing but crying this isn’t the first time but its never been this bad. I literally have been having suicidal thoughts everyday, its gotten to the point to where I almost started crying in school today. I barely started cutting again. I had stopped in like November-ish of last year I think. But its been awhile and I started up again like in April I think. I’ve written so many suicide letters its ridiculous. […]
my mom is always yelling at me , acting like im stupid ,and that i dont ever know what im talking about . and when i try to talk to her or make a conversation all she does is ignore me . she talks about me to her friends , and my family , and not in good ways . i havent cut or done anything to harm myself . but i dont want it to happen , so i wanna get this out . i hate my life . i live with my mom and step dad , he has money , and thats […]
born may 27 1962
its been a long road in life and it never gets easy .. all the drugs in the world are never enough to fill the dead hole where my soul goes.. never owned a car or had a family or a house.. my dad died in the war and my mom never came home one day
.. no brothers or sisters to help out .. i would have died then if it wasnt for an old school mate of mine sneakin food out for me everyday.. i knew i couldnt take his food forever so i decided to up and leave to San […]