How can i feel wanted and loved by my family?
When my real dad walked out on my mom when she was pregnant with. He has a kid 3 months younger than me and is happily married with his other kids mom. My mom doesnt want me. I am so far behind in school. I have been cutting since i was 9. My friends walked out on me because i cut.
I dont know about life anymore :/
it feels like i just cant grip on to life,i remember sitting there like it was just yesterday,sitting down rocking back and forth having my arms rapt tight around my stomic from such intence hunger pain, in a cold basement with concrete floor an unfinished ceiling were you could tie a rope around a pipe and the other end around your neck and hang yourself, like i tempted to at age 14,i had noone, they finally put a bed down there after 6 months of me sleeping either outside somewhere or inside on a filthy moldy couch that had holes in it and smelt like […]
Well, I am new to this site. I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, or that’s the earliest I remember, since at that time I made notecards about me, in preparation. I was planning to write letters to everyone I cared about. Now I am 17 and I am still planning on writing those letters. The reason I haven’t committed suicide yet, is because I didn’t want my mom to hurt. Now, she just got diagnosed with cancer. I am scared and worried of what might happen. Incase anything happens I notified 2 of my friends about what has been going on […]
So i sit here, going over my life story. Everybody told me that it would get better. They lied. So I stopped telling them things. My mom already told me I’m the reason they’re always fighting, and the reason of the divorce is the fighting. Maybe if I was out of their lives, it would be easier. For everybody. I’ve kept this in so long. I can’t keep living. I am destructive, I ruin everything I touch, my parents marriage, my relationships, my friendships, my life. I’ve ruined so many lives. Why can’t I just be normal? Because, I ruin everything. It’s always my fault. […]
i did not die, which I assume a few of you thought since I never ended up getting back on this site until now. Â I was deceived and betrayed.
To make a long story short, I called jackie’s house, she told me she wanted to be best friends with me and that she truly cared about me. Â My parents and jackie’s parents both told me that nothing bad was going to happen, that everything was going to get fixed, that me and jackie would get to be friends again. Â They said the police would not be waiting for me, that I was not going to be […]
I wish i had the courage to die, i wish i werent such a wimp and would just do the deed. I honestly can’t find a reason to live anymore. Any help i get is just a waste, any ‘hope’ story is just depressing. Everything is depressing. I just can’t take it. I can’t be honest with my therapist because she has proven how fast she’ll go and tell my dad. My dad is getting tired of taking me to therapy, i can tell he wants it to end but he doesnt get how bady i still need to go. my friends dont know the […]
she was like a mom to me, a figure i never had before,i loved her when she was gone, and i hated her when she was around, she was either in an over protective mood were she drove me crazy, or in a cool person mood, were you could tell her anything and not be scared,i was never use to someone being so protective over me, i was always use to being kicked out of the house and left to sleep out side under a pine tree,where noone wondered or cared if i was even alive,but with her,if i came in the door a minute […]
one of my worste pains was never having a permentent home, never having somewhere i could call home,being misunderstood and labled for it just makes you even more angry, angry enough to scream, then people looked at me like i was even more crazy,but they had no idea what was going on behind four walls, i had times i told and noone did anything, never really had a chance in life,always controlled by the fucked up justice system that stood there and let me get abused and neglected,i guess i didnt know how worthless i was till i was 7 years old and i was […]
Someone for a short period of time brought my soul back from the deeps of nothingness and I was able to feel again. Isn’t that suppose to be a good thing? I hate it! I wish that person would have never touch my sleeping soul if only to throw it away! I just want to crawl back into the nothingness and feeling less. But the probably is it hurts just like last time to crawl back in the water. Just like it hurt to crawl out. Why did you bother?! You brought me more pain than joy! Can’t I just be left alone?! I had […]
It has almost been seven years since you were taken away from me. Every holiday, especially Mother’s Day, your birthday, and the anniversary are particularly hard for me. However, what is killing me is that I cannot remember how your voice sounded, how you smelled, whether your hands were soft or rough, how it felt to be hugged by you. With every passing day your memory gets fuzzier. And I am in so much pain because I have had to grow up without you surrounded by people who do not appreciate their own mothers. I hate how people make passing comments about “my mom” without […]
I want to die , But im to much of a fucking ***** to do anything. My parents fight a lot , I stick up for my mom when my dad hits her but the next day she just tells me she hates me. They hear me crying but the dont fucking care! I lock my door sometimes and my mom says how shes going to hurt me when i get out. I didnt know you do this to the people you love? I dont know anything. Ive never felt like this , i feel like nothing matters. Nothing.
Hi. My life story? I’m fourteen years old. My parents are divorcing, and I know it’s because of me, I was their mistake. My dad wanted kids at first, but my mom didn’t, now neither of them really want me. I have friends, and I seem like a normal crazy teenager. But hey, a smile can’t hide everything. My uncle committed suicide. I’ve thought about it many times. The only thing holding is my best friend, her brother died a few years ago. She has thoughts of suicide too. My words have always stopped her, I just wish that I could believe them myself. I’m […]
I watched a “19 Kids and Counting” episode yesterday that’s given me new perspective on life. It was about the mom who was pregnant with her 20th child and she went to her 18-week ultrasound appointment to find out if it was a boy or girl but then the u/s tech told them the baby did not have a heartbeat. They were devastated, of course, and it was so sad to watch. But on the other hand, it was neat to see how the family banded together through their grief and supported one another. (That’s kind of like this site, huh?) Anyway, seeing how much […]
A lot of people I know say that they are there for me. Â That they will listen to what I say and not make their own assumptions. Â But they are never there, and they never listen. Â They make their assumptions, and state their opinions as if they are the facts of the world. Â The counselors ask me questions that I mainly can’t answer, because it would give some secret away. Â And when I do answer, they say I’m lying, give their own answer, and decide that they are right. Â Even thought they don’t know the things they say about me. Â They are supposed to be […]
I just cant take it anymore.My dad was an alcoholic and died from it about a year and a half ago.Please don’t ask why but I cant see my mom until I am 18.My friends don’t know anything but if I told them they might laugh or even worse.Only 1 person knows and I begin to regret that.I consider suicide more and more often.Most nights I cry myself to sleep.But noone not even family knows what I am going :through because if I told them they would send me to a therapist and that wouldn’t help me.Sometimes I think was I put on this earth […]
I have never cheated on test in all of my life I have been struggling in my Spanish class so when I totally forgot I had a test I decided to cheat and got cought! I have been living with guilt for over 3 weeks and I can’t live with the guilt anymore I called a suicide hotline and they helped a lot and I also emailed my teacher about asking to take a retake but the only thing I am scared of doing is telling my mom because she is super strict on school I just got out for trouble for my grades and […]
Well, I’ve been sick all my life, asthma, allergies, skin diseases, mental issues, social issues. I was always a quiet kid and didn’t have many friends. My dad use to spoil me as a kid because I was youngest and always sick, I believe, until I started noticing that my sister wasn’t getting the fair attention, so I asked to stop. And he did. In school I was made fun of as a kid, then later I just became awkward to talk too. I was never considered one of the pretty girls. Boys only talked to be to get with my friends or my sister. […]
I was reading on here a couple of weeks ago, and I saw something that someone said and it really stuck with me. They said “I’m not a person who wants to be alive. Im just a person who’s too afraid to die.” That pretty much sums me up. I don’t get a kick out of living. I don’t go to bed at night thinking of all the wonderful things I get to do tomorrow and aren’t I just so darn lucky that I get to just be alive?! No. I go to bed hoping I won’t wake up. But I always do. I would […]
I quit my job after 3 days. 3 whole days and i quit. im such dumb failure. Im over-sensitive, and social anxiety, and i couldn’t take the fact that those god awful customers disrespected me like that. i couldn’t bare the fact that i got threaten, assaulted and harassed. im so stupid. Secondly, this guy scared the crap out of me in the parking lot. i have never been so scared before. I was in the parking lot sitting in my car reading something, and this guy comes out of nowhere and parks next to me. He just starring at me, and he winks, and i got […]
I went away for 3 days, to visit my sister at her university. It was a nice break from my parents. They’ve never really been the best to me. I had an awesome time, I returned in such good spirits because when I was over there I didn’t have  a care in the world. I was in a different city, a good 4 hours from where I live. I barely texted anyone so it was just a clear-mind vacation (I know it was only 3 days) So that was fun, but as soon as I get home they start being rude. My parents like to […]
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