the second I come home from school it’s like my parents hold in and save all their yelling energy to take it out on me right when I get home. they wonder why I’m afraid to come home and I hate being home. they don’t realize what the do to me actually hurts and effects me. they think oh I can handle it I’ll be fine. yeah right. I’ve been dealing with it for so long and I’m sick of it. just shut the fuck up and go on with your lives and stay out of mine. cuz they just keep making it worse and […]
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Mom
Okay so most of you guys see me posting storys of how i hate living but not really knowing why.well here you go starting when i was in kindegarden i got picked on in school but from there all the way up to 6it was only about my hair and clothes i was also sexualy abised by 3of my cousins and there dad.then when i got to middle school i got made fun of because everything my weight my hair clothes where i live how i looked etc.since 8th grade ive tried to kill myself over 50 times ive been in and out […]
I saw people posting their suicide stories, so I decided to post mine. I’m an only child, come from a broken family, and started a relationship at only 11 years old with my cousin. I haven’t cut yet because it would be too obvious – my skin doesn’t heal for years. My dad was never around during my life (I’m thirteen now), and when he was he would abuse me and my mom. I would try to fight him or tell my mom to report him, but I think she hopes that he will change. When I try to fight him, he points a gun […]
i just gotta let all of this off my chest, it hurts so much. it’s been 40 days since i last cut, since my father said that the next time i cut, he would do something about it, he would put me in a facility that would help me, unlike my mother. i know, not cutting is a good thing, but you have no clue how much it helps. everyone has drama, at home, at school, whatever, but i just got to tell someone, even if no one reads this sh*! and i gotta tell u, it’s long, but if you could help me, i […]
Ya know, I have had many, many, many, suicides this past month or so. Three. They all never showed any signs or anything and of course with the subject coming up everywhere i look now that this has happened it has reopened my deep feelings of wanting to do it however i stuck in there because it was the holidays.
Today i found out my parents are getting divorced. out of the whole year it had to be this month with all my friends’ suicides. like seriously. this is tearing me apart but i put on a brave face and listen to both of them […]
Starting this Year January 29th, I became suicidal. And ever since, ive been a freak. I’m really tired of it and 2011 was the worst year of my life.
I don’t want to live past today. No one loves me, no one cares that I’m struggling and my mom doesn’t even show compassion at the fact that I’m depressed. Yesterday, my grandma found my cutting knife in my purse. My mom called me forever retarded and didn’t even take the time to realize I had been cutting myself and was struggling. I have the worst family ever.
I am probably going to kill myself tonight. Have […]
Hi my name is Aurora and I’m going to turn 19 soon. Since I was a little girl I’ve suffered from depression. I remember my frist suicide attempt was when I was around the age of 7 to 9. I tried to suffocate myself with my blanky by stuffing it down my throat, it didnt work. I continued on with my life miserable, but unaware that these feelings werent normal. My mother and stepfather abused me most of my life both mentally and physically. When I confronted my mom about the way she use to treat me she tells me to get over it or […]
So I forgot to close out this website before letting my mom borrow my computer. I don’t want to talk to her about it. Why? Because there is no communicating with her. I’ve tried before. -chuckles- You know what she said? “If you do it don’t do it here”. Like that is going to make me open up to her. I wont say I HATE my mother, cause I don’t except when I’m mad lol but I do dislike her ALOT. I just don’t understand why people are so blind. I’m not perfect. There I said it. But I am trying to work on myself […]
I know i’m not the only one whose life is messed up but i’ll just get it over with and tell the story…
It started it out when i was in 8th grade, my mom started to cheat on my dad, which i promised her i wouldn’t tell. (bad idea)It got worse, I later found out that my dad had depression not only him but my older sister and then there’s me. My dad got obsessed with my mom until she decided to leave him not only did it made him sad but it made him suicidal. I feared for him mostly because I later found out that […]
I see the dishes clatter and fall.
I feel your breath on my face as you scream at me.
You hit my face.
My arms.
My ears.
I taste my salty blood.
At least the ringing in my ears is gone.
I see mother crying
Almost as if she’s begging you to stop.
You swing at me again.
My face to the floor.
How do I explain these bruises?
I won’t tell.
I won’t tell.
I’ll just smile to the wary eyes.
I’ll just wave it off.
No big deal.
No one will know your problem.
I don’t know why I exist
But maybe I’ll live to […]
I have fucked so much shit up. I deserve to die. My parents fight because of me….my dad gave me a black eye today. My mom tried to to stop him from wailing on me…..and it was my fault. Why couldn’t I just shut my damn mouth? Even though i was in the right, why couldn’t i just swallow my pride, shut my damn mouth, and say i was wrong?
I want to cut so bad. I just want to feel something other than this pain inside. This sense of worthlessness, and being completely alone. Here Is my advice to you ( I don’t even know […]
I want to die. I want to go to heaven. I want to believe in God. I want, but never get.
written by BlueBlackButterfly
This note is really long, so only read if you’re prepared. This is my story and how I feel. If you have something negative to say, please don’t say it. I’m not really sure what exactly I put in this note because i wrote it on a different site a few days ago, but I still feel the same. Sorry if there is any cussing and just to let ya know… This note wasn’t finished. I have many other things that trouble me daily, but I got tired of writing…
I don’t see the point in life anymore. I’m not even sure if i’m Christian anymore. […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
I never ever have been afraid of death but when I think about me killing myself I get scared of the pain. I don’t want to go through ANY pain… And I don’t want my mom to drop outta school cuz of it. So I might just snap one day and end up running away.
Last night i attempted to kill my self  again. I’ve been so sad lately and im lonely and want to die. so i took a bunch of one of my meds then a handful of this a handful of that . after telling my brother and mom i threw up and now i just feel tired. Something hit me last night , i don’t want to die like this. I don’t want to die  because im afraid of why may come my way.  When i die i want to be happy , don’t let depression get the best of you.
She departed the house, anxiety and fear along with excitement and trepidation. It was a big ride – climbing to the top of Mt. Tamalpais. As a Mt. Tam virgin, the unexpected thrilled and frightened her at the same time. Previously, people had very good comments about the ride – challenging yet ultimately rewarding. “My favorite rideâ€, “the views are spectacularâ€, “tacos afterwards at a good, local taco joint†were the thoughts echoing themselves in her mind.
D returned home from school to find that her dad wasn’t there. There was confusion followed by an inquisition of mom as to where he had gone. She […]
umm hey my name is sasha … && i think im going through depression right now … Im 15 years old … And i think it all started when i was 13 years old and my mom took me away from my country peru to move into USA where my brothers lived. ( i think she mostly moved because of this dude she me and that she though she was gonna marry him ) so i left my father with cancer and i blame myself for this . After i turned 15 … On march 29th my father passed away . He was a really […]
I just stumbled on this page accidently. But maybe this will be helpful. My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago. I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself. I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family. Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago. I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow. […]
After all the fighting the judge believed the lie’s  my ex’s mother put  before him .He didn’t even request proof. Before I’ll sign my my rights over I’ll be dead. I will not have my only surviving child from my first marriage think I don’t want him. I’ve received threats , calls e-mail letters under the door since 2006. ‘If I try for one I’ll lose all three.” If I don’t walk away anything could happen to one of the kids. Accidents happen all the time.” And I can’t even prove it was them either of them, ex husband or ex mother-in-law. They have money and I don’t.  I have […]