My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
i just want to die now… i don’t want anything from any one… no1 cares about me… not even my mom n dad….. i feel so alone …. i have nothing….. believe me…. :/
To whomever will listen,
2 years ago my mom passed away of an accidental overdose ever since then my life has been awful. Before my mom passed away it was crap, but it got worse. She past away when  i was in 7th grade it seems like yesterday. In 9th grade during a school break i was alone watching my neighbors house for her since she trusts me and she was away for the week. During the time she was gone my friend offered to get me fucked up i turned her down because i wasn’t ready to fuck up, but just a day later everything […]
Every day I wake up and go through the same shit, nothing necessarily bad, nut nothing good, ever.
Every time I think something good is gonna happen and make stuff better, it doesn’t, and I just end up feeling worse.
I have a lot of friends, and I’m pretty popular, but every fucking day shit gets worse.
I used to be laidback and funny and outgoing and just a nice fucking person but everyday my patience runs shorter and I’m starting to become so paranoid and I get losses off so fucking easily anymore.
This has been ongoing for the past 6 months and it really hasn’t snapped into […]
I grow up with my mom yelling at me my dad coming home drunk, high, he would come home angry, he would always attack me or my brother or even my mom. I guess all the anger and sadness i have in me is because of him he abandon my family. These past few years have been the roughest i haven’t seen him in 4 years. I wont see him for another 8 he got arrested. My mom and my me havent been getting along always blaming me for everthing it sad when your own mom even says she doesnt want to be alive because […]
im a sophmore in highschool, and i have gone through a lot with my mom. My background story is fine nothing wrong as a kid my parents are still together blah blah. But it started in 7th grade. My mom started making me more and more angry as the days went on.. It didnt get real bad until 8th grade though. My mom was driving me to the point where i was suicidal. I didnt want to live here any longer. I attempted, was too scared and gave that attempt up, then about a week later, one of my former good friends decided to take […]
The driver had taken two candyflips earlier that day (acid and molly tabs) at the show. After the show, we went to an after party at someone’s house. Driver may have drank, I don’t know. But by the time I had to go, it was much after three in the morning…he wasn’t high anymore, just tired from being so high. We left, and he was swerving all over the place. My anxiety with cars has always been pretty bad, so my voice got caught in my throat and I couldn’t tell him to pull over. I closed my eyes on the highway after valley west […]
It isn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I apologize in the case that I actually do. Let’s just face it, I’m not cut out for living. I can’t do things right, I’m useless to my parents, I’m only someone to make fun of, and I’m just hated by a lot of people.
My mom, Kathy, she constantly makes remarks proving just how useless I am. For example, we would walk into the Air Force Academy Clothing Sales store, she would see those stupid “My daughter goes to the Air Force Academy†bumper stickers, and she would make the comment: “I wish I could put that […]
When a person is born … what is the purpose behind that birth??? What is the purpose behind mine???? Am I just born to nearly get everything one can want and have it snatched away from me in a second??? being born with calcium deficiency and convulsions… since then it has always been a struggle… I would have died then and there but mom sells her assets to save me… but for what ??? to torture me when i grow up… to prove that i am a mistake in her life… when i din’t have an issue with her marriage… why the sudden change from […]
Where do I start off I have a really low self-esteem, when someone calls me ugly I smile and I try to let it go.but I tell everybody I can that their beautiful cause i don’t want them to know how it feels this way i constantly think of suicide i cut and when i do it i don’t do it very deep just enough to feel the pain i cry myself to sleep and i ask god the same question over and over why am i still here? I go to high school and when i see the pretty girls i collapse i try […]
I don’t know if anyone wants to know a little more of my past, it’s kind of like a horrible fan Fic I’ve been living in. I’ll give you some fun facts:
I am a cutter. I
I am overweight. (One of the reasons I was/am bullied. Probably the only reason)
A lot of my best/mutual friends have left me. It has been by other people’s hands.
My mom used to drink heavily and she had high dosage pain pills so the combination made my worst nightmare. She was and is (even though she stopped drinking) a horrible mother. She’s very abusive, verbally, emotionally and physically.
I’m pretty […]
You were so broken,
Words never spoken:
They haunted you in your sleep
You didn’t speak,
Maybe you could cry the pain away.
Your life was good
He treated you well,
You would always smile,
He could never tell
That you were hurting,
Your soul burning.
You tucked me in,
You kissed my cheek
You sang a lullaby and watched me sleep
He kissed you goodnight,
With a sleepy “I love you”
“See you in the morning”
There were no warnings
When I woke up, I saw daddy cry,
“Everything’s fine,” He choked on his lies
And then I saw you, and lost all hope
Around your neck was a fastened rope
From that day on, it was all broken.
Sometimes I just try to be positive.
Igrew up in a- well, not poor, but not wealthy- family. So by the way every single problem was money.
Our father left us, I have a sister that has cerebral palsy,
and well there are maaaaany negative things in my life, i went through horrible stories in my life and things that i just heard out from my mom and everything
I don’t have real friends, I mean, no one tries to hear me, cause they think that im crazy, even my boyfriend sometimes he just doesnt want to hear me or something, i think he thinks that everything that is […]
hello blog.
this is my first post.
i struggle with anxiety and major depression.
i’m not sure how to cope with anything. my parents misraised me and i have no friends.
everyone hates me and bullies me and thinks i should just kill myself, so why the fuck shouldn’t i..
all of my ex boyfriends said i was worthless and should.. so.. yeah..
nothing’s alright. i constantly feel the need to cut myself.
i constantly feel the need to tie a noose and hang myself.
i constantly feel the need to die. i’ve lost everything.
i don’t have a family, i don’t have friends.
my parents gave me up 7 months ago and made it […]
My grama thinks that I dont aprisieat what my dad gives me but thats a l I do aprisieat but she keep saying Im not. My mother things Im stupid that I do everything wrong that Im lazy but is noI dont help a lot because everytime I do my mom fighs that I do it wrong. My dad was always there for me but my grama always say that i brain wash my dad so I dont talk that much with him anymore. I only had a special person in my life my best friend and started to be my love yes it was […]
I am not going into full detail of all the shit that made me who I am today but I’ll give you a little summary.
I was bullied horribly and pretty severely at a private school with 100+ kids and 20 kids in the grade. You were with the same people your whole pre-k to 8th year.
I contemplated suicide at the age of 11 and still do. I wouldn’t let my mom leave because the thoughts of it were overwhelming. She didn’t leave without me but she didn’t take it seriously. I was really going to take a knife and stab myself in the stomach. She didn’t […]
 August 1, 2013 Thursday 2:55 pm
I’m a lot stronger now than I have ever been. I have my anger somewhat controlled, I’m slowly getting it together. But as I look back at the hard times I was having. I was so scared and afraid of my future and didn’t know my purpose on earth anymore. I felt like I should be dead at the age 23 years old. I lived a life as well as I could. I was so broken down and beaten I was just tired of waking up every day fighting to be happy or just to be alive . I wanted […]
 
  Sometimes I can’t stand to see my own reflection. I can’t seem to see that the person in the mirror is me. I try to not look but when I do I suddenly break down, the world crashes around me. I am unable to do what I normally would which is distance myself from everyone and fade away into my own place. It feels like everyone is screaming at […]
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
Literally. I’m laying in my closet, on top of who-knows-what, sandwiched between two blankets above and below me, between my bed and a shelf. I wonder how long it’ll take for my mom to realize I’m here. She thinks I’m going out with my boyfriend tomorrow, but I cancelled on him, so who knows?
I’m here because it’s going to be hard to get up, whenever I choose to do so, so I don’t cut…. it’d take too much effort. I don’t want to live right now. I don’t feel anything…good… it’s like I spontaneously fell out of love in only a few minutes. He ordered […]