I’m done. I can’t believe I have to keep waking up for the next… what? How long? I don’t know what is going to happen with my marriage or anything else. I don’t know how my … self… is going to affect my kids. How long am I going to just be getting from one end of the day to the other? I don’t want to say it’s unfair, because no one’s inflicting it on me. I don’t know how God works, but I know God doesn’t work like this. Personal freedoms, free-will, poor choices, poor judgment.. Tendencies toward self destruction, self harm, self abuse. […]
At a very young age, at about 7, I accepted that, in my words and thoughts at the time, “sometimes other people will have what you aren’t meant to”. At the time, I was referring to far simpler things, yet still…. despite feeling very deprived, I struggled on trying to get what I could out of life. Life never seemed to give me back anything for my trying.
See…. by 3 years old, I had already had the skin of my hands boiled off. I don’t remember the event itself, but I sure remember the way my hands looked afterward. I also remember the fact […]
Hello im waste2304
I honestly don t know why im ganna air all this out here but i guess i hope i can help someone else see it the way i do today i signed up for this site because i need someone…anyone to listen to me i mean im going so crazy and i just need somebody who wont judge me to please just listen to me….every since i was 13 ive attempted to hurt myself a multitude of times…it made all the pain just go away…the depression was killing me and still does till this day…and people say they understand but they truly will […]
Well Hi again, many of you may remember me as BrooklynBoxx.. and once again I am asking you for your guys favor. I’m 15, as my of you know. But on January 26, 2013 I met and fell in love with a 21 year old. I know many of you may find this risky, coming from my past. But he was there after every failed suicide attempted. He got me to throw away razors. And talked me out of suicide. On the 15th of July my […]
So the other day I was thinking about hanging it up and calling it quits, my life is complicated. I’m young but I feel like I lived life before if that makes sense? But anyway tied the belt around my neck and put it in a knot twice and was about to hang it up in my room, I tested it to see if it would hold my weight it did, and just as soon as I was about to give it another try my cat wonders in my room and starts purring and I put the belt down and started playing with my cat […]
To whom ever says they know me
If I didn’t want to live
Here is what I’d give
I’d give the breathe that fills my lungs
The food that will taste sour to my tongue
I would give the wayward mind I have
The undecided and unknown path
I’d give up everything
If I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like humanity
Understand without unnecessary pity
We are overly selfish and dramatic
Obnoxiously annoying and spastic
We dwell to long on things I want forgotten
Too many people assume how I’ve gotten
If I didn’t like humanity
Perhaps I didn’t want to live
If I didn’t like myself
Here is the basic line up on the shelf
I am pudgy to others […]
I wished to die. Many times. Sometimes I would like awake at night, wishing that I would never wake up. I hate my job. My job hates me, My mom blames me for everything. My brother calls me stupid and overreacting. I can’t open up to anyone because they’ll think I am being overly dramatic. It hurts. And outside, I pretend to be cheerful and caring because I know that that’s how people get to like you, It hurt before when my friends all left me when I became “emo.” I learned that you shouldn’t let friends know what you really feel. Well, honestly, I […]
My dad hung himself on March 18th, 2013. Actually it could have been the 19th no one is exactly sure. It was my spring break and I was at the beach with a few of my friends and my girlfriend. I didn’t find out til that Thursday which I think was the 21st. My phone had been dead for a day or two and I didn’t bother to charge it, I guess I didn’t think anything important was going to happen. I finally charged and turned off my phone and saw that I had received a text from my rabbi and a woman in my […]
Each day that I wake up I am just adding time onto my pain. I distract myself with T.V , this website and the internet to keep from killing myself. The urge is there. Sometimes I feel this deep rage inside me and a voice screams in my head “YOU NEED TO FUCKIN KILL YOURSELF” and I have to convince myself that the time isnt right now. Why am I lying to myself? I think is just the will to live. My heart, mind and spirit are all at war within me. My heart and mind says its over and this is the end but […]
My mother hates me. I dont know why she does, I have four siblings and she nevertalks to them the way she does me. She’s always looking fr something to shout at me for. I lost count of how many times she’s told me to go kill my self or how she wishes that one morning she’d wake up and find me dead. I’ve no one to talk to and it hurts. Growing up all I knew was abuse from my mom and brother she hit me with text books for getting wrong answers when I was 6 years old. When we would go out […]
All I have ever wanted is her acknowledgment and her praise. My mom pressures me to do better, achieve more, push myself. I have always tried to top her expectations, but I always fall short of perfect. These unreasonable expectations have made me feel like I can’t make anybody proud. Years of academic praise from teachers, awards from the city and even other people telling my mom to go easy on me… It just makes her certain I can do better…
I have fallen into a very dark place, trying to make everybody proud of me. I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t put […]
Lately I’ve been feeling really sad. I cut myself yesterday and regret it :c idkkkk man.
I feel so alone, and my moms been bringing me down again. She calls me low life and lazy, and asks me when I’m gonna get a job, and what am I gonna study and all this shit. I’m 17 years old, and still young, fuck idk what I want to do or be yet, it’s going to take a long time for me to figure it out. I want to travel and meet people and see things form different perspectives. Why does life have to be so fucking rushed. […]
Well, I’ve been psycho for past few months. I got betrayed by my friend, live bullying and shit. Some damn kids use the adult relationships to ruin my life since kid. They bully me for so many years already and still do. It’s very humiliating cause they’re like 6 years or younger than me.
At school, I am forced to tell jokes to please my friends. I just get addicted to it. I couldn’t quit.
I also got severe pain or knife moving inside my face. Yes, I mean KNIFE. It mutated, moves and hurts like hell for every damn second for the past decade. It’s like […]
idk what to do. i can have someone pick me up and leave but my mom said then ill get kicked out which means no college. which mean my future is over. i would leave but now im not even welcomed at the one house i consider my 2nd house. they all hate me. my family hates me and my 2nd family does too. i cant breathe. i cant think i just dont want to be here anymore. i guess ive officially broke. i would go buy some pills at the store but i feel sick. i havent eaten anything really in 2 days and […]
I feel like…Â I should tell my mom… what she has put me through… what I have contemplated/(or)contemplating… I feel like I need her to feel how I feel. Every time I think, I should get up out of bed and tell her exactly what it feels like to be put down, after already hating every inch of your body. After hating your self for what feels like so long, but still pushing yourself to extremes to make her proud… Getting the grades and staying out of trouble. AFTER BEING EVERYTHING SHE “WANTS”… she still wants more… But what does she give me in return…? […]
So in my family, my parents are very crazy about what  I wear not my brothers just me. I have to wear long sleeved shirts and long pants no shorts no low cut shirts no tight clothing which I mean isn’t really bad but it gets annoying when I see all these girl in different styles and I can only wear long pants and long shirts(the shirts also have to fully cover my butt) I can’t wear high heels or make up and my  dad freaks when I do. Today I wore a shirt with a. V neck and my dad went ballistic he said […]
Im 20 years old and I’ve had thoughts of suicide since i was 15 years old. I dont have a long drawn out sad story or history of abuse of any kind. I have a loving family & a boyfriend but i have never felt more alone. I often ask myself “How can you have so much but still feel like you have nothing ” . I have never figured out the answer. Im just so unhappy it almost scares me how many times I’ve actually sat in my bathroom , held pills , razors etc. and almost ended my life. Some part of me […]
Well, I guess, My story starts about 1 year ago… I had been struggling with Insomnia and would do anything to get a full nights rest. I was mean, angry and on the verge of tears constantly. My friend had the same issue, but not as bad, her mom had bought some all natural sleeping aids. They worked great for my friend and I was envious! I had asked my mom as soon as I heard about the success, if she could maybe be open to me trying them out.. I was shut down so fast… I was angry and hurt that she had said […]
Well… I don’t know… I have three older brothers my first brother is 15 years older than me so I pretty much grew up without him, my second oldest brother is 12 years older hes nice sometimes but it seems like he’s always obsessing over me.. He calls me baby and says he loves me and gives me hugs and kisses most of the time forcefully and smacks my butt and I scream at him to stop and my youngest brother is 5 years older than me… He’s my closest brother.. It was so hard for me when he left for college.. I didn’t know […]
I hate reading all these messages of optimism on these suicide sites. Especially when it’s in response to a teenager, “You have your whole life ahead of you!” Yeah right. If it’s anything like mine, you don’t want to live through it.
I’m 30, and I’ve wanted to die since I was 8. Too young? Not when you mother is psychologically abusive. I have a lifetime full of stories about her. The shortest example I can think of was when I was a teenager. I got my report card. It was 2 A’s, a B, and a C. She SCREAMED at me for over 2 hours. […]