To those tempted today to ask what Robin Williams had to be depressed about, with his success, fame, wealth, lovely home, lovely family, tons of opportunities and great moments in his life, please just stop. If he had died of cancer, would you ask what he had had to be cancerous about? If he had been run over by a car, would you have aske – See more at: http://www.alastaircampbell.org/blog/2014/08/12/may-robin-williams-tragic-end-herald-the-start-of-new-attitudes-to-depression/#sthash.vz4Hfjrj.dpuf
I hate the weekends. I have no where to be and the anxiety consumes me. At least during the week I have some responsibility that forces me to function and get distracted from what triggers me. Weekends remind me of my lack of meaningful connections and that my participation is not required or sought after. I often end up self medicating so I can relax enough to sleep or settle down enough to read or watch movies. When that doesn’t work I reach out to people who don’t truly respect me simply for some companionship and pseudo moments of feeling like I am part of […]
I wonder if I’m doing what’s best for me, or whether this decision will cause me more pain. I sit and think if there will ever be a day when I let go of this fear thats weighing me down. I wish for the day when I can love myself truly and be happy with who I am and where I’m at. For the day that I let myself fall hopelessly in love and get married and have kids, for the day when I’m not too afraid to let myself be happy. I wish and I hope for that day when for once my happiness […]
I feel utterly useless. In my daily life to even on SP. When ever I finally think I can do something, I try my best at it. I work as hard as possible, thinking “This might be the day where I can finally do something right for once!” I brim with the confidence that only appears every other blue moon (If I’m lucky). Only to be destroyed. I end up worse than I was before, getting closer and closer to my limit everytime. I don’t know how much longer I can last. My fuck-ups are only a single percent of my problems, but it hits me […]
Living in tornado valley, there’s always the calm before the storm. You can try to predict it, and hide from it. You can try and move, but eventually it finds you. You can try to stay where you are, and prepare for it. Sometimes that works, and other times it’s as if it was for nothing. Stand up and swear at it, dare it to come at you head on. Dare it to swallow you whole. Does any of it even matter or make a difference. The people not in the storm front, will never understand what it’s like. So it’s futile to even try […]
Why am I still here? I have everything prepared for my death. I have a miserable life and I don’t want to improve anything because I have absolutely no strength to do so and I hate life anyway. I believe that good moments aren’t worth living for. And it’s not worth to live as me especially. I’m damaged to the point where nothing can make me happy. So, what the hell am I waiting for. Is it just fear of the unknown? Is it just because I can’t imagine not being able to observe life anymore, or what will they do with my body, or […]
Our time together felt like a storm, like wild wind and rain, like something too big to handle but too powerful to escape. It blew around me and tangled my hair, left water on my face, made me know that I am alive, alive, alive. There were moments of calm and pause as there are in every storm, and moments when our words fork lightening, at least for each other.
I’ll come, soon….and we’ll have our love again.
I just wish she could have seen a better side to me.. I wish she could have seen me at my best cuz I don’t think we ever got there. I was always struggling..with money, with addiction, with my own mental confusions.. Always trying to get over some hump that seemed to stem from my troubles. I was always complaining it seemed.. I expected too much. I couldn’t be that cool headed guy I wanted to be.. That she deserved the most.
I just feel like there was something I could have done to keep her around. But I didn’t do it..
The parts of […]
There was a time when i posted my sad story on this forum.To be honest i never want to remember those moments again in my whole life. But I definitely want to remember and thanks to this forum, that today i am a better person.
I met somebody through this forum who really helped me to overcome those bad days. I would like to do the same with people out here. I want to help you all and make you feel comfortable. I want you all to know that i will always be there if anyone needs me then feel free to msg me on inhellut@gmail.com
I dont know if i should end my life because their happy moments but sad moments in my life. Sad moments for me is when i get bad grades and school is so stressful or the times I hate my parents for doing unfair things. For happy moment is going to the movies with mom because thats the time where we actually bond and laugh and I love those precious moments.
Empty means containing nothing, according to the dictionary. It’s the feeling that I have right now. It’s weird. I’m in my house, but i’m not alone. I have my daughter sitting next to me watching a movie on her iPad while I sit on my couch typing these words. She’s too little to understand my feelings and body language. I have messages on my phone that i’ve looked at, but can’t seem to reply. I have close friends that want to hang out or come over and call it a movie night…but why do I just want to be alone? I’ve thought about over-dosing today…actually […]
I came across this site a long time ago when I was going through a rough patch, and the url has always remained in the back of my mind. Those dark days were then pushed out by a new precence in my life – would you believe it, a girl. She gave me my strength back, and I became totally dependent on her, she made me happy, despite being unfaithful, unappreciative and generally all round nasty when she’d been drinking. I spent everything I earned in an attempt to make her happy, to the point that i’m now £5500 in debt.
She’s gone now, completely cut […]
Drunken Religion:
On the off chance the inspiration in me
Is genuine and not a result of the chemical mix within me
I present myself to the universe whole
And request forgiveness for the sin that breeds beauty within me when I can’t feel my soul
My inhibitions turn up dead
Life is crazy and I can’t decide whether God only exists in my head
False bravado is the solution when
Cheap vodka is my only friend
The love of my life passed me by tonight
In the dark in the wee hours of graduation night
At first I wasn’t sure it was her and […]
I did not end it last night I was moments away for it but thats down to two people my mother and a comment left on a post here. Yes i still got no hope I still want to die but I was in a very dark place yesterday. And if it was not for that post and my mother coming into my room and hugging me saying “I know your in pain but I love you and you can get through this” it almost broke my heart I can’t remember the last time she did that. so I’m going to try again for her. […]
Although my scars have been covered with tattoos, I have recently been noticing that they tell a beautiful story. A story of strength and triumph.
I spoke with a young girl last night who had just cut herself, still ripe with both the physical and emotional pain. I didn’t know this girl, but I loved her so, my heart bled for her. She said “how can anyone understand me?” My scars showed her that at least one person could.
In that moment I became thankful for my scars, […]
how good moments before sleep feels. i feel like finally its ending, finally i’m going to be unconscious. i feel like tomorrow is gonna be totally different; i’m gonna be totally different. actually i feel glad that tomorrow is not gonna be ‘me’, it will be somebody else who will wake up and face all the struggles. me is ending today. its almost like suicide, only there is no fear or selfishness attached because of trust. and yet its me who wakes up again, with all the same sameness. do i anymore belong here? is this a new escape trick my mind is playing?
suicide is not easy, and it is not cowardly. cowards may commit suicide to get out of the trouble, but for the majority its hard, scary and the final option….hopefully painless. I give up.  I am so very tired. Life just isn’t worth fighting for any more. Tired of being a victim. No matter how I fight back I just keep loosing. Keep getting pushed back and down.  I was sexually abused as a child….lots of therapy …..oh, I forgot, I am supposed to be a survivor. the wicked never rest and no rest for the weary.  These bits and pieces may not make too much sense, but wanted to put […]
giggles, smiles, happy moments
shattered broken and
Disappearing replaced with a broken heart and tears
A deeper darkness than you will ever know
Pushing on is to much
Causing more and more pain
The thought is more sweet than ever
Maybe it would be better
Everyone would be happy
The Darkness grows stronger with each passing day
Why fight
Why resist
Its the better option
Everyone else would be happy
Lately a lot of things have been happing , i have the good moments and the bad moments. for some reason the only thing i worry about or pay attention to is the bad ones. Its gets all stuck in my head and cant get out ! I feel like its carved in my damn head !!
when im alone , or laying down after a bad day. Everything from that day that was bad hits me and thats all i can think about. And I begin t0 cry ! EVERY SINGLE TIME!