This is the real reason I know I have changed, I am in an extremely messed up situation and I’m not beating myself up over it. It’s shocking to me because I feel like I should, I feel like I should want to be dead right now, as if I should hate myself. I have made so many careless mistakes and now I am dealing with the consequences. I never slept around I had only been with 2 people my entire life. My ex and a new person that I had known for a few months before deciding to do that. Well some how I […]
Recently, One of the guys I’ve liked for a long time had told me he loved me and started to give me general sweet talk. He told me we should be together. I eventually broke up with my current boyfriend at the time for this guy. When I did, He told me that It wouldn’t work and that I should go back to my ex. He played me and it honestly broke my heart to hear that. Awhile after that, I took a razor blade across my skin again today. That makes eleven new markings upon my wrist.
Can’t believe that I ever thought I had more serious problems in life before now. I was sexually molested and had awkward sexual situations with adults and others that were my age growing up. I repressed the memories, I repressed all of it because it was all so terrible and disturbing. I never dated growing up, I fell in love with a guy and started dating him when I was 19. I started having sex with him when I was 20 years old and once I started I couldn’t stop we always had sex. We were careful and responsible about what we were doing and […]
I have depression. Everyday it’s a big struggle to get up and out of bed. Part of the reason is because it’s near impossible to fall asleep between the tears and the suicide plans I plan but am too tired to act out. I’ve been on antidepressants for 6 weeks but the give me horrible mood swings and have made me feel worse… I’ve stopped taking them until my doctor can prescribe me a new kind, but that’s not until next week… I’m tired all the time… Everyone says that it’s because the stress and anxiety from the depression tires you out… My ex boyfriend, […]
My life has been so terrible i feel like giving up. Every single day is longer and harder to get through. My ex boyfriend left me with our baby and i feel so overwhelmed. While he’s out there sleeping with other girls, smoking weed, and racing his car, I’m here just taking care of our daughter. Everything is on me. I feel like just killing myself so he can suffer. I feel like just running away into the streets filled with the promise of intoxication and liberty. I can forget everything. I can just die in a peaceful drugged out overdose.
I cut myself and I do it cuz I think it would make me feel better…my girlfriend told me yesterday that she didn’t love me and that I was wasting my time with her…and that its over…i loved her so much that I would have died for her as much as her best friend…her best friend was cutting her self too…and now I finally understand y… Her best friend said she would die for me and I thought that their is only three people who care about me and my ex girlfriend is not one of them…my family doesn’t love me…they all hate me and […]
I saw an updated photo of my ex. I kind of miss him. I wish things were like they were before – when we actually got along. When we weren’t at each others throats. I loved him, and while seeing that picture of him today, I realized I still do. It makes me regret what I said about his mother that much more. I didn’t mean it, but it was still a low blow. He was mad at me at the time – we were fighting about something, and he said something that had offended me. I don’t remember what it was, it must have […]
It took 3 months for this day to come. For me to feel sick to my stomach and to realize how badly I have fucked up. I had mentioned before still hooking up with my ex and hoping and then feeling nothing. Well the day is here when he has finally blocked my number and deleted his email address that or blocked me there too. I’m not trying to be childish and stalk him or whatever. I genuinely have something important going on and needed to ask him about it. I don’t usually txt him or even call him for that matter, but now I […]
its been a few months since iv been on! but is it wrong for one person love 2 ppl at the same time?
iv been in love with my ex for almost a year now. but iv cut all connections with him. cuz he leads me on and ditches me all the time
but there is something i get over him.
and the guy I’m with currently treats me like a queen.
but my ex has saved my life from my trying to kill myself but then he always makes me want to do it.
almost a year ago i got raped
so many ppl […]
We all have those moments where we just want to die. This was a feeling that I had that was stronger than ever. Since I was a little girl, I was fat and I have been called fat. I’m not gonna lie…it hurt badly. It made me feel terrible. Those beautiful girls out there were skinny, so where does that leave me? I cried and cried myself to sleep sometimes because I was ugly and fat. As I got older, it was worst. You were judged all the time, whether if it was how pretty you were, what was your weight, or the clothes you […]
I guess I was destined to be this ugly. In my last post, I mentioned wanting to punch my mirror into a bunch of tiny pieces. Part of that has to do with how unbearably ugly I feel. In my opinion, I look like a monkey. My ex called me a trap, which is a term for Tran people who look completely believable as their desired gender. I don’t know. Others say I look cute, gorgeous, like a model, even. I just don’t see it. What do you think?
To let go of all the bad shit in my life, or anything for that matter? Because I can never seem to let go of anything in life and I have no clue why. I had crappy friends that I stopped being friends with and yet they are still in my life I still give them opportunities, like wtf? But last night I realized this isn’t the life I want for myself. I want to be happy have good friends I want to be in love and be with someone who loves me. But I ruin that for myself I met this cool guy and […]
Since October 2012 I have been living in a nightmare. I was engaged, with 2 children living in a nice house with a good job. Then I made a mistake and I lost it all. I lost the job and then family within the space of 7 days.
I had regular access to my kids until Christmas 2012 when after an argument my ex decided I shouldn’t see my kids. I missed my daughters 1st Christmas, so on the 31st I decided to kill myself. I drove to the cemetery near where I grew up and I took 90 Amitriptyline hydrochloride with a bottle of vodka. I waited […]
Back u guys. My ex girlfriend Is back in my Life.i Feel happier Now and i don’t know how to explain it but still she is back in da life with me.we are just friends and are so happy.i do care about her.i Also care bout her Girl.well yup.
It started three weeks ago when I saw my cousin.I never understood why my ex would have panic attacks until I myself I had one that day.I just started breathing uncontrollably & I started hiding my face everytime I was around I was just trying to get as far away from him as possible.Anyways I cut that night.I started hiding my cuts & I was home alone so I took the armband off.The door bell rings & It’s my friend.I go outside & I see his eyes lock down looking down & In my head I’m like what’s he looking at so hard then I […]
Yesterday, I made the hardest and biggest decision of my life.. I went to the police and told them about my ex boyfriend raping me coming close to 2 years ago along with the emotional, physical and sexual abuse and blackmail.. you name it, he done it to me. I walked over to the police station and asked for a police wife that I get on really well with, but I couldn’t tell her what happened, it took about 10 minutes for me to tell her. The minute I said rape, I had the worst panic attack I have ever had, I can type the […]
I was wearing a Houston Texans wirstband to cover my ex’s name.My cousins are coming over so now I’m wearing the wristband on my arm to cover the cuts.The other day I kinda went all out cutting so I’m glad this wristband Is big cause the area where I cut Is pretty big.No lie It feels good.
I have taken my anxiety med, I am drinking a beer and watching True Blood. Trying not to give in to my compulsion to make nice with my ex. I am embarassed by my behavior. I need to sort myself out. I guess I relied on him as a way to get out of my head for a bit.
So check this out..
When my ex left me, I was in pretty poor shape, still kinda am. Long story short..my neighbor had just broke up with his lady an she came to me crying about everything. At the time I felt like I couldn’t relate more with her and what she was going through at that time. I kinda thought we would be able to help each other through this. We exchanged numbers and all. Well I’ve text her back an forth here and there. The last text I sent was inviting her to breakfast, I just wanted to talk and get to know […]
12+ years!!By that time Ima have a family & everything!!My closest friend Is getting locked up for 12+years!!I’m not really sure how long cause he hasen’t gone to court or anything but the thing he did Is already 12+years & he hasen’t even been convicted yet!!I used to kick It with him everyday!!About a month ago I finally told a friend that I got molested when I was younger,that friend was him!!He wanted to whoop my cousin but I told him na you don’t got to lift a finger,It happened.All’s you can do Is move on.Not even a week before he got locked up I […]