i feel so lost and confused.. i don’t know what to do?? everywhere i turn there is problem after problem!! i can’t do anything right.. wish i was dead..wish i had the guts to kill myself the way my life is goin may be that will come soon
Tag:
my life
my mother died last year. she had cancer. now l am all alone. l have nobody and no one cares. l don’t live in the present. l have no future. l have no quality of life. l am just existing. l have a bunch of sleeping pills and am ready to take them. l hate my life and wish to be dead.
So I ruined it again….
I was doing so well….
Over a month without one single razor blade piercing my skin and tonight, out of all the nights, I started again.
I really wish this would just end.
I know it helps me feel better, but this is ridiculous.
This wasn’t your average cut either.
I carved a word into my leg…
And now it will most likely scar and be on my body for the rest of my life.
Good one.
I applaud you…NOT!
Contemplated suicide today
Yet nobody cared
Contemplated taking my life away
yet nobody cared
Even stepped forward and told someone
yet nobody cared
Even took a bath to see if anyone would get worried about me and come
yet nobody cared
So I sat in the water for about an hour
yet nobody cared
I prayed for forgiveness from the almighty power
yet nobody (on earth) cared
I got the strength to get up out of the bath
yet nobody cared
And stumble out to the living room in wrath
yet nobody cared
the only person who could check on me was asleep
he didn’t care
all I could do is sit there and weep
yet nobody cared
They wouldn’t have found me until in […]
I made a mistake today. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Today was just another one, an additional one. I had been getting closer and closer, further and further, and I reached it. Not entirely though, it was the beginning of the end. I stopped at the beginning. It would make Him unhappy, completely torn and deeply upset. I love Him. I do. But, sometimes I get frustated in my life. My whole life is filled with frustration, 2/3 of it.
I work, and work. Oh, and wait ! … I work. I go to the university, I go to work, I have to go […]
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
I just spent 10 days in the hospital on suicide watch. The only person to see me was my wife and kids. My one friend and that’s it. I laid in bed so alone and upset. Where did I go so wrong in my life. Have a kick ass career and 2 beautiful girls. It all started when I was a kid. My grandmother use to put me in a closet so she could tell my dad I wasn’t there when he came to pick me up. I grew up always wanting my dad and couldn’t understand why he wasn’t there. Than my mom married […]
you’ve completely pushed me over the edge. i don’t care if the messages stopped. you said just enough, enough times, and left it how you did, knowing how cruel you are. how could you beat a person down that badly that many times? how could you just keep hurting me that badly? what’s wrong with you? do you actually believe all of the horrible things you kept saying to me?! do you think you’re sane?! you can’t be! you have so many issues that are far beyond me. how could you hurt me this badly? how can you be so cruel. i don’t care what […]
So basically this is my first post and it’s going to be shitty sorry.
…buuut yeah, my name is Brianna and honestly, I don’t want to be living here on this bullshit planet any longer. I’m tired of getting judged by the music I listento, the clothes I wear, what I look like the next day, and so forth. My life to me is honestly completely useless. I wake up everyday feeling like a mistake, and that I should’ve never been born. I’ve been called names like slut, emo, ****, *****, and been told that no one likes me, I’m depressed all the time, I […]
Yes, you’re the person I hate most of all the people in this world. I hate you because you ruined my life where you had the chance to make me the happiest man alive. I hate you because you make me cry every day instead of drying my tears. I hate you because you make me remember all the bad moments and decisions in my life instead of helping me to forget and start anew. I hate you because you hurt the ones I love most instead of making them smile. I hate you because you only think of yourself instead of others. I hate […]
I Â hate my life.
i hate myself.
i hate the feeling of being alone.
I hate that life is a beautiful lie and that death is a hideous truth.
i hate that I want to die
I hate the world I live in.
i hate that I want to love .
i hate me , myself, and I.
i hate that I love someone who doesn’t love me back.
i hate that I am the way I am.
i hate that I want to be happy.
i hate that I love to […]
all i want to do is cut vertically down my wrist and bleed out til i die. i’m nothing, i’m trash. stupid ugly dumb iguana looking *****. i’m nothing more than that i will never become relevant to anybody, and i will never accept myself. i hate existence i don’t understand it.. i don’t want to experience life beyond high school, being dead sounds better. the problem is i don’t have enough courage to kill myself, i’m too much of a coward to take the coward’s way out!! lol i’m such a joke.
Oh hey, look at that, I’m here again.
Great.
I was dating the perfect guy for me. He had faults, but I was crazy attracted to him and regular sex helped me get over my addiction to masturbating. And then he broke it off, over THINKING I had an sti, and not trusting me even though I was crazy loyal to him.
And that’s not it, I’m doing bad at school for the first time in my life. I told my teachers I was suicidal to get out of a test, I’ve never missed a test of my own volition. Ever.
I miss holding him, and cuddling, and doing […]
Okay so i’ve dealt with depression for most of my life.. but more recently it’s gotten worse and i’ve been fairly suicidal for a month. Anyways.. in the past month or so i’ve been told things, advised things, suggested things… and i keep wanting to scream back at them with frustration. So here is my rant, maybe some of you can relate.
1.) Maybe it’s just a seasonal depression, lots of people get sad during winter. -No.. last time i checked i’ve had this for most of my life and the weather should not make someone suicidal
2.) If you’re ever feeling suicidal or thinking about making […]
I want to get out of all this pain… But for some reason i still hang on some hope and have been here longer than i thought. I will go soon… Could b tomorrow, next week, a month… Idk. Why do i still hold hope even though i know things (health) wont get better and i cant live my life like this. I had a great ride, and whats so wrong about ending it and not living through a painful life? Â Any thoughts ? Btw i think its everyones own right to do what they want with their livez, live or die.
Death is a thought that every once in a while draws me closer and closer. The loneliness on nights where sleep can’t come any faster and I hear that monster talking me into death. No one will miss this pathetic little man. No one loves me, no one acknowledges me, I tend to be ignored by most. I guess I should take my life but what stops me is that life is not mine to take even my own. And so I guess I will suffer until the day comes maybe I deserve pain, some of us do. If I fail maybe tomorrow I may […]
As bad as I want to die I haven’t given in yet. I’m trying really hard to make it through the next 8 weeks until my trip, it’s the only thing might save me. I want to wait until after it to make my final decision. I’m trying and fighting, even though it’s causing me unbearable pain in the process.
I might not get through the 8 weeks though, I’m barely getting through the days. I quit my job so I just sleep my days away and drink at night, but thankfully I got my Ambien prescription filled today so maybe I can sleep at night. […]
If your reading this i just need to get this out
I miss feeling loved, needed or cared about. Â I had this freidn that would make me fill like I was the most special person on the world that I was worth more than a million bucks. Â But now I think I’m obsessed over this girl. Â We were so close, both helping each other with life and our difficult pasts. Â But then someone close to her died and she just stopped caring about me. Â WE use to write letter to each other every day but when i mention them to her you think they were the […]
My Near Suicide Attempt from the book I wrote about it, and my recovery
written by thementallyillmentor
Recently, I spoke to a Mom that told me a very sad statistic about her son’s high school.
She said that 3 teenage boys had taken their own lives in 3 years!
I felt deep sorrow about this situation not only because of the loss of 3 precious lives, but also because I, too, have struggled with depression.
And, I, too have been tempted strongly to attempt suicide.
In this excerpt from the introduction of my book:Â The “Mentally ill” Mentor: Practical Principles for Achieving and Maintaining Balance in Your Life, I explain my heart-wrenching experience in greater detail.
Here it is, word for word from my […]
Hey guys. well, where to start. I’ve always had suicidal thoughts. when I was 17 my first serious girlfriend left me for her ex. I went through a long stage of depression. for at least 6 months. I wrote a long suicide note to my family one night when I was certain I was going to kill myself. I was in bed, left the note laying on the floor. I had a plastic bag put it over my head waited a couple of minutes…I could slowly feel myself drifting away. but as I was about to fall into the ‘no going back zone’ I had second thoughts […]