So, it seems he has some skinny tiny girl interested in him. She’s of course not pretty. Way too gaunt and malnourished looking, but that’s what he likes. Anorexic and underweight. She looks young and she has two babies exactly 9 months apart and I guess no baby daddies in the picture. WHY must every man want these sluts just because they’re anorexic??? I’ve accepted that I was born to be alone and never have love in my life, but it still hurts to see my dream guy getting close to someone.
Tag:
my life
So, one thing that pissed off my (ex boy) friend that I still have feelings for… I’m never honest. Of course for some reason he always knows exactly how I feel. He knew that I was crying, he knew I was panicking, he knew when I was lying. That made getting away with saying “I’m okay” and “it’s okay” religiously when I was at my worst a nightmare. I’m not used to being honest with people in my life. I post my darker thoughts here and allow everyone in person to believe that I’m just great. Happy go lucky Brittany so confident and full of life…
I […]
Well.. I dumped my boyfriend. He was a scumbag. Had no respect for me whats so ever. Fuck that guy.
I thought I would be even more depressed from it.
But honestly, I feel 1000 times better.
I feel like that stupid dark cloud has finally fucked off for awhile atleast.
If I knew all I had to do was get rid of him to feel happier, I would have done it a long time ago.
Thankyou asshole ex-boyfriend for teaching me what I never want in my life again. 🙂 YOU.
I’M ME AGAIN
Over the months I have been trying to become more social. I went through a suicidal phase at the end of last year for about 3 months and it feels like its coming back. After being separated from work for “not fitting in”. Its tough for me to fit in with people that wont understand. I am a ex-army medic and how will they understand… we cannot show them… Tossed in the trash by the people you defended is pretty good reason to not be here anymore. To think I would have given my life for these people.
I’m an 18 y/o girl from England suffering from depression, I think its mild/normal but to me it feels severe as I’m sure it does to everyone. I’m on anti-depressants and I thought they were helping but today I feel worse than I have in so long, I’ve been searching suicide and came across this site. I’m also wondering whether to get off the pills because I don’t want to rely on them, but counselling hasn’t helped either.
I’m bored of my life, I feel like I will fail my a levels this June and if I don’t get into uni I don’t know what […]
i am fed up with my life. i loose everything in my lyf, i lost my 1st love he dumps me after that i lost my 2nd love u can say 4 years relationship break up. he dump me very badly cant tell u everything, but my 2nd love is my real love. i am tottaly break. and my brother left me. i am doing mca. but can’nt concentrate on my studies due to this i have lots of supplies. and now i lose my job. my mom alwyz teasing me because i am not inteligent and also that because i have bf, not bf he […]
When life has tainted you, it’s permanent. No matter how hard you try to change or deal with whatever issues it caused it doesn’t go away, because it is now part of who you are. At least that’s the case with me I can’t necessarily speak for others when it comes to this. I was sexually molested as a child and growing up all through my life. Not constant but there were intermittent instances and only 2 were more serious cases. I try to ignore the fact that it happened I never really think of it and I continue with my life. But the truth […]
So this last month has been ok. I’ve been doing decently well. I haven’t cut, though I’ve had the urge a few times. I lost myself in a book series so that helped get out of my own head for a while. And right now I’m dealing with normal problems like trying to get a guy to ask me out and not failing my classes. But the thoughts never go away, I doubt they ever will. The thoughts that help me spiral down. The ones that make me hate myself and want to kill myself. I still have my ultimatum for the end of the […]
I just found this website and saw that many people write on here and I decided to do the same. Unlike most of you guys here, I’m a freshman, in high school. When I was small I was born with a defect to my eyes and I realized that this little boy in second grade? was an asshole to me. I also realized that one of my teacher I thought was one of my best teachers also treated me unfairly. In fifth grade, my classmates would always call me ugly and some talked about my eyes. They didn’t really bully me but yea. In seventh […]
I have an event to go to on Tuesday and it’s kind of a big deal. I’m getting an award. But my producing partner just had her marriage of 10 years blow up and instantly started jumping into rebound sex with some actor who she plans to take to the red carpet event.
I should mention that she’s pretty damn attractive. Tall, thin, blonde, straight… she’s going to look great.
And here I am now not wanting to go because I’m going to be stag, and I’ve never hated my body more than I do right now.
So here I am genuinely looking online to find a non-sexual […]
I can’t f***ing believe it. The way I planned isn’t gonna work. I know I can’t talk about methods but suffice to say something went wrong that I did not realize could be an issue. Unfortunately I did not realize this until I already started trying. I’ll be fine, just in a small amount of pain for the next few days. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things in my life but this is really up there, I can’t believe I couldn’t even managed to get this to work properly. I am feeling a strange mix of insane amusement (I was literally cracking up) and a […]
I think I am going to take my life because otherwise I would go mad like Nietzsche. I am saying one thing to you, I don’t think that there is something after death, I am saying that whatever you do , you DO IT NOW, FOLLOW YOUR DREAM AND NEVER GIVE UP, DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO ! FUCK OMEGLE AND THAT ***** AND AN ENTIRE LIFE OF CHRISTIAN INDOCTRINATION. EVEN IF THERE IS AN AFTERLIFE, HOW THE FUCK IS IT GONNA HELP YOU? YOU ARE GOING TO GET OLD AND DIE. PERIOD. I don’t want to continue my existence. I always felt like […]
A few days ago I got an awful call… My best friend called me to tell me one of our good friends committed suicide. I literally broke down. I know what its like to be at the brink and feel so damn lonely but i just couldnt believe he was gone. He talked a few years ago about him planning to hang himself one night at school and one of his roommates walked in before he had the chance to actually go through with it, and they talked and he decided he wasnt ready…. i wish someone walked him on him this time. if i […]
I wasn’t planning on it, but come to think of it tonight is as good a time as any. I could do it and not be found for long enough for it to have a shot at working.
I’ve been considering death for long enough that I know it isn’t a passing fancy. I also know that 2am is not the best time to make impulsive decisions with permanent consequences, but I thought to myself before that the only thing between me and death was the selfishness to stop caring about whatever effects my death will have on the people I leave behind (funny how inconsequential […]
i talked to my parents about me, about how i feel, and that i want to see a psychologist because i feel like i am dying inside but i wasnt strong enough to tell them that they were the reason, i feel this way because of them, i’ve figured it out. They are the ones fucking up my life and i hate it. i have figured that im completely happy when they are not around. But after i talked to them, it became worse, now they are all the time around, they dont even let me go to the freaking bathroom more than 3 m, […]
It’s one of those nights. I don’t want to sleep. I want to stay up with somebody and feel like I have a physical human being around with whom I can form some kind of bond. It gets dull adding a new chapter to my two novels, or writing lyrics for the next song project. It’s old, I’m tired, and I need somebody- not something. No more games, books, or any other cheap form of entertainment. I need this thing called a human bond. It’s always seemed to allude me.
I’m not sure what to do. I never have been. I do my best to fit […]
I am so tired of people continuously waking out of my life, only being there when it will make them feel better. I posted yesterday about the hell that I went through as far as being abused. It is the effects of the abuse that I have worked six hard years on getting past that keeps people walking out of my life like some kind of fucking revolving door.
I have worked so hard to get past every muscle in my body stiffing up and feel like I want to crawl out of my skin every time I am touched. Now days I can give someone […]
Sorry for the long whiney post I probably just sounds spoiled
So im now in my husbands aunt and uncles house.laying down and his first cousins bed her room is cute. What would have given to have a room like this while home . i had my own room but it was always undone. and when I was 15 my older cousin took my ipod radio and I didn’t have a TV the time so always in the dark like it like that. I actually got a TV when I was 18 it was a few months before I got married. And i used to stay […]
I heard this site was a perfect place for a person like me. A perfect place to write down thoughts, express feelings, as well as support others. I never thought my life would turn this direction, or if i would ever have to resort to a place like this. Its scary, thinking thoughts like this..Taking these steps.. Baby steps.. It seems like its the only solution.. To a permanent problem.. My future is damned.. I’m not sure what i want to do… I’m pretty sure i’ll be back tomorrow to post, this feels nice.. Sorry if this is a shitty post by the way, like […]
Since 2003 when I was 16 years old I’ve been wanting to die. I prayed for death to bring me peace almost every day since 2003.
I wanted…… no, I BEGGED for death to come to me, but death has been avoiding my call all these years. The reason why I want to die is because my health, both physical and psychological are fu*ked up beyond repair, and on top of it all I never had a single friend nor a girlfriend in my entire 28 years of existing.
Now comes the unfair part, and this really pissed me off when I found out about it.
There […]