I just want this pain and loneliness to go away. I feel trapped. My depression is getting worse. I want to be gone already but im afraid to kill myself. Everytime I try to attempt suicide I fail. I dont know what to do for all this pain to go away. I hate myself and everything in this world. Why isnt god helping me? I ask for help but my life is actually getting worse.
Tag:
my life
Twenty years ago I made a choice that has forever altered my life. The last three can really only be described as post apocalyptical. I’m 40. I expect to live there rest of my life, save for all the focus I can muster in this present moment, adrift.
Hey my name is Olivia and I’m 15. Lately a lot of shit has been going on in my life and I’m finding it harder and harder to find a reason to live. So much has been going on with bullying, cyberbullying and self harm. I’ve lost a lot of friends because of it and I don’t think I can go on like this much longer. I really need someone to talk to, someone who understands, I’ve heard some people call it depressions buddies but yeah, I need someone. And if anyone ever needs to talk or needs help then you can kik me anytime. My kik […]
I’m tired. Nobody cares, and nobody cares on here most of the time, either. Social media is shit but then again so is life. At least I pour this out. I go to bed and can only sleep now with pills. The internet is as sick a place as the real world, in fact I think it is sicker b/c peoples’ real selves pour out. Lots of toxic crazies in the world, hiding behind their masks, here they don’t have to hide. The 21st century is one barbaric age despite all of our so-called advances. Technology is being used to do things like film “revenge […]
I’m happy sometimes. I met this girl thousands of miles away and she makes me happy. But sometimes I just get really sad out of nowhere. I get down on myself and hate every part of my being. I think about suicide really often, I have been for three whole years now. I even went to therapy but I stopped going because it didn’t work or feel right. I feel fucking insane.
Im tired of all this fucking shit. all these people. I hate this world. I hate being stupid and trying so hard to catch up and create opportunities for myself. I hate my home. it’s tense most of the time. I can’t do shit. i want to go back to college but then i find myself struggling and being sad for not being able to make friends. I come from a tough background and these white rich kids have been given everything to them. it sucks. i hate my life. i want to end it. i haven’t cut in about a month and […]
I know I posted earlier, and I am afraid it IS coming very soon. But I just have to get it off my chest.
I don’t deserve to work my ass off on 8-10 hour days for 3 hours of pay just to come “home” to a place I have to leave in a week, with nowhere to go after the next week, with my jobs on the line at risk of losing all income, just to cry all god damn evening until I finally pass out for the night.
I deserve a full time job that I can live off of.
I deserve a place to live.
I […]
Hi, I’m not an english native speaker, so sorry in advance for misspells or grammars errors.
I have a Borderline personality disorder.
I’m 28 years old and my life is a pain since when I was 10 or so.
I have huge social issues, I find hard to stay with people around without feeling really uncomfortable. I always felt really alone in my life.
Three years ago I knew this girl, let’s call her Giulia. She’s a very smart person which studies physics.
She is like a dream for me. She was not my first girlfriend, but I could feel that she was special. We […]
My mother is a lesbian. She hasn’t come out to me or my older sister yet in years. She and my father have been divorced for over 10 years. It’s a secret that I dispise having. She puts it in our faces that she’s gay and has and has had girlfriends. Recently I’ve been really depressed and she’s been putting it in my face that I’m wrong and that I’m her most problematic child. My sister is 7 years older than me. I am 19 and she is 26. She is living at home and has been living at home ever since she back from […]
I have a long weekend coming up since my work is closed Friday. My best friend suddenly isn’t talking to me and the guy I like and have done everything for and spent a ton of money on tells me he’s about to lose everything and be locked up again on the account of being homeless and doesn’t want to see me so fuck everyone for being fake, fuck everyone for not caring about me, fuck everyone my life doesn’t matter to, fuck this world and every last person in it. I’m fucking DONE!
Can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to start my life over again. Locations, friends, schools, jobs, girlfriends and fiancés.. everything. Starting over use to be incredibly hard. But once you reach that end.. there is most often, a fork in the road. And you must choose a path. Death..or starting over. I’ve reached my end enough times to realize that at the end, you lose a lot of cares. And if you can manage to come back a smarter wiser person, you come back with little to lose..but everything to gain. As long as there is breath in my lungs, my heart will […]
So here’s the thing. I hurt all the time, hurt from my head to my toes, just hurt everywhere and all the time. As cliché as this sounds it is literally as if there is something or part of my heart missing. I am also very lonely. I really want someone who will care for me, hold me as I start to cry, someone to tell me that I am perfect, beautiful.
I can be anyone be anyone I want to be, I can be the bad girl, the good girl, the messed up girl, the girl who doesn’t have a care. I don’t know who […]
I feel awfully confused, overanalyzing every single move, thought that comes into my mind. A couple of weeks ago, I had my first anxiety attack which I think I’m recovering. I haven’t had any symptoms lately, I sleep well and eat when my body asks for food, it isn’t very hard waking up, I can concentrate, I tend to forget small things but I think I’m doing fairly well. But sometimes I don’t really know how I feel although there is a sense of emptiness. I often contemplate suicide and think that my life is not that bad, that I have been strong, that I […]
I have never really had any friends my whole life. Ive dealt with depression and ocd for 4 years, suicide idealization, i just graduated high school last year and now in college. Still no friends, i ruin my everyones life. My 21 year old sister does not love/care for me. My mom.. Most of all i have hurt her and stressed her out all my life. My dads gone and i wish i could have died with w/ him. I mess up everything i do. I am selfish, weak, and a person that should have not been born. Im 18 years old – a female […]
I really don’t know who to talk to about this or where to go but lately especially my life has been so disastrous?? I’ve felt soooo isolated lately. More so than usual. I have no friends to rely on. No boyfriend. My mom hates me and I can’t stand her, and the only family who I am close to live overseas and I’m unable to get in touch with them. The fact that I have social anxiety puts a strain on everything so much more. I’m so so so terrified to get a job, but I need to get out of this house, I can’t live […]
I’m generally bored and disgusted with life. I don’t like the way that I live (which I could change, but not much within grasp), and the way others live (which I admittedly have no right to change), in constant monotony. I’ve known I was going to kill myself for a couple years now, but finally took some initiative in January. I took a few milligrams of Xanax, got in a bath, and tried to cut my wrists and neck. Needless to say, it didn’t work, and I was sent to the hospital for a week, on self-harm watch. Worst week of my life, I had […]
What point is there? As I get older, everyone splits off into couples and I sit here like a fucking lonely moron. I don’t want to date anyone, I want to be surrounded by my “friends” who can’t wait to ditch you every chance they get for a significant other (or simply someone better). I’ve been off my mood stabilizers and antidepressants for about 3 weeks now, but I’m thinking of starting up my mood stabilizers again because it is unbearable to deal with this constant fucking oscillating range of emotions. I think I’ll just submerge myself in as many drugs and mind alternating substances […]
Hi, My name is stefan and I’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to a lot of people. I’m absolutely sure I will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell.
I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my email address is: stefan@deds.nl
Best regards, Stefan.
My post might seem a little strange but this are my feelings and i hope to find someone that feels the same.
Title: who also expect to end up in hell
text: Hi, My name is stefan and i’m 31 years old. I made many mistakes in my life and caused pain to many people. I’m absolutely sure i will end up in hell after committing suicide. I realy like to talk to other people that know for sure they will end up in hell. I’m blind so most parts of this site are not accessible for me. So please answer me by email. my […]