Tag:

needed

Some distraction

by Moneypenny 1/29/2016

written by Moneypenny

Drawing fills me with anxiety and it’s something that’s really hard for me. It’s hard to explain. I once tried to become an illustrator, but thought it was going to be complicated if I had to be self-employed, economically unestable and had to deal with my depression at the same time. I don’t have the discipline needed. I felt I wasn’t good enough. It turned me nuts, couldn’t handle it and I had to quit.

But I’ve been drawing a little again this month. And it worked for me today after feeling really down. I am better after being distracted drawing. Did it for hours. It […]

1/29/2016 7 comments

Ugh

by HatedGirl 1/26/2016

written by HatedGirl

Hey all hope all is well im mad at.myself i woke up late n had a docs app i needed it but i slept in so goin to rescedual im scared of takin new meds n hope i dont get more depressed or more anxity i worrie to much ugh so iv been keepin busy like watching shows chicago fire now on to.chicgo pd i love these shows any good shows out there? Hope all of you are doing good n always remember to.do something fun or watch a funny movie or get in to a really good show

1/26/2016 2 comments

That night.

by Bunny 1/22/2016

written by Bunny

When i was a freshman, so 14, i tried to commit suicide for the first time. I can’t really explain why. It’s two years later and it still feels like it was all a dream. Sometimes it hits me all at once. Out of nowhere.. like around Christmas, i went and saw my youngest sisters choir concert. I was watching, listening. My dad on one side, my brother on the other. And it hit me.. all at once. Without warning.. as those things tend to do. I looked up at the stage, seeing her sing. My throat got that horrible dry feeling and suddenly the […]

1/22/2016 2 comments

Assisted suicide

by NiDDA 1/21/2016

written by NiDDA

I had a conversation today that inspired this post.

Imagine the sick people who need organs to survive, they WANT to survive, they WANT to LIVE. If they had a method, I mean doctors, to kill patients without damaging the needed body parts or organs, they could give them to the sick, they could give them their desired LIFE. Instead of this they let people die from hanging, ODing etc. MISERABLY and MEANINGLESSLY. I know that there are certain states of mind when some can’t tell the difference between reality and their own imagination, but then leave those out of this chance. There are a shitload […]

1/21/2016 10 comments

Drive into Hell

by Zetsumei 1/15/2016

written by Zetsumei

This urge is getting stronger yet my family doesn’t understand why I try to fight it. So what if I’m “useless” by not driving, would crashing into a traffic pole be better? Time after time, I’ve proven I would let everyone drown while watching… Friends, family, every single person… If being human means being empathetic than I’m not human. I’m a monster and I’m done repressing it. Not that I was ever good at repressing it… To be honest, I don’t understand why anyone would be sad at my death. Sorry, everyone. I just needed to vent very badly today.

In less psychopathic news, Alan Rickman […]

1/15/2016 6 comments

Depression please take 5 minutes tour.

by Allitends 1/11/2016

written by Allitends

After one more day in my life, i got a “news”, i went for a walk with some music, with my life going deeper and deeper and i came a across to this.

I dont know if im depressed, all i know is that im empty and hopeless, i hope i dont last that much longer because i find no happiness or goals, in matter fact the news is about why some girl just gave up on me, some1 that ive met in the first day of the year, some1 who could bring some sort of light, she said to her friends that i was empty […]

1/11/2016 0 comment

All my fault

by evildandelions 1/10/2016

written by evildandelions

If I had left my ex alone and hadn’t tried to forced her to give me an explanation of why she left me, forcing her to see me, then she might still live in the same state. Might go to the same school. She had said she was going to contact me in two months because she missed me so much. We might’ve been friends.

If I hadn’t had wanted to be back with her so desperately, if I hadn’t acted so desperate by fleeing my parent’s house and going back to our old apartment after saying suicidal implications, I’d still have my dog back. All I […]

1/10/2016 1 comment

i fucking hate you, you piece of shit

by death bunny 1/5/2016

written by death bunny

don’t try to act like we’re pals. i don’t even know you. who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my life all of a sudden? you fucking stranger. you’re not welcome. i bet you think you bring redemption upon me. well it’s too fucking late for you. you were never around when i needed you. now you can politely go fuck yourself. don’t act like you’re a big shot. you’ve had your whole life to make everybody hate you. now suffer. and stay away from my new family or i’ll cut you to pieces i swear. i’ll fucking kill you.

1/5/2016 3 comments

Avant Guardian.

by Shephard 12/31/2015

written by Shephard

It’s a cold autumn morning, early in May, and we were making our way into a rural township some five klicks from the nearest checkpoint. Just the five of us trekking through a treeline and making haste for a derelict well. One of the guys fixed eyes on a silhouette sat beside a bucket; they were within speaking distance:

“Hello there. Can you hear me?”

The silhouette remained still. We surrounded them from both flanks as I moved forward and approached them. It was a girl no older than nine, wearing a mossy green overcoat and gumboots, with her hands bound together — an ANZAC poppy sat […]

12/31/2015 6 comments

Any Suggestions?

by thisnameisonlyfortoday 12/31/2015

written by thisnameisonlyfortoday

I have no idea where to start this. I suppose I will begin with saying that it is 5:42 AM and I have accepted that I have grown so bored of life that I am beginning to think that maybe I just wasn’t meant to be alive. I have been bored for so fucking long I can’t even remember a time when I was genuinely interested in anything. I desperately need change in my life, I cant keep reliving the same god-damn day over and over it’s driving me insane. I am trying so hard to find something that will make me interested in living […]

12/31/2015 3 comments

Help

by InhalingAnxiety 12/11/2015

written by InhalingAnxiety

So I called my work this morning and told them I was feeling sick, which I was but not that bad, and I told them I wasn’t going to be in this morning but I’d see how I felt around noon and come in. I just needed a little break from them and work is extremely overwhelming for me. Plus I don’t really have any urgent/important work to do today, so I didn’t feel too guilty about missing the morning. But T, who’s basically our whole HR department, said “This sure does happen a lot. You should probably go see a doctor. You […]

12/11/2015 1 comment

A Vision, and a confession

by disgusting 12/10/2015

written by disgusting

I went to the Buddhist center with my roommate and he was volunteering there and I was with a woman who is some regional leader that he’s close to and people were chanting for 2 hours. So I did the 2 hours of chanting then most everyone moved to the auditorium and even though we were just listening to people speak and not chanting, I had a vision that I’d live somewhere past 85 and I would always be alone, never marry, never have anyone, and never have sex again from this time forward. I didn’t think I’d be homeless and I don’t know how […]

12/10/2015 2 comments

Failed

by CRA2015 12/6/2015

written by CRA2015

I failed you baby, on 1-18-15 I fucked up and I failed you. I wasn’t there for you when you really needed me, my bipolar wasn’t medicated or known yet and I freaked out, I made the worse/stupidest mistake of my life and I kicked you out our house when you needed me. I failed you in every way possible as your man that day, and I failed our lil family… I tore it apart. I’m the reason we’re not together anymore. I got help, I knew something was wrong and I got help…found out I’m bipolar and have anxiety, I go to therapy/ counseling […]

12/6/2015 6 comments

Ek is jammer…

by Ylem 12/3/2015

written by Ylem

So, I changed my mind. What changed my mind?
I was ready to go through with it. I was tired. I still am. I cant sleep at night, I cant handle the flashbacks of every horrible thing that has happened. But I still decided to stick around.

When midnight hit, I took my rope and the book I write my dark things in to my peaceful place. I wanted my family to find my book and realise how messed up I had been for the past few months.

I sat there smoking weed and drinking gin for a while, enjoying the peace one last time on […]

12/3/2015 11 comments

Religious rehab

by Salesman 11/23/2015

written by Salesman

I have been putting a lot of thought into religion lately and I get it. Religion is important in a lot of peoples lives and they get angry when you want to freely discuss god instead of blindly follow. A good friend of mine killed herself a few years back. We were part of the Jehovah’s witness cult and she had voices in her head telling her to hurt herself. She went to the elders of the church (because that’s what you would do) and they told her she needed to pray more. Not one of those motherfuckers though maybe she should go to see […]

11/23/2015 7 comments

Can’t accept it

by dontworry 11/20/2015

written by dontworry

This just doesn’t make sense to me. I’ve always been a very independent person who never really needed anyone. But now that I’ve lost him, it hurts so much to see his face everyday for almost 2 hours and everyday we make eye contact. It’s like we know nothing about each other, we went from lovers and best friends in one to nothing. We know everything about each other. I miss him, the late night conversations, and just the simplest things remind me of him. The way someone says something or the places I go. It bothers me, feels like I’ll never get over him. […]

11/20/2015 1 comment

Lies!

by disgusting 11/13/2015

written by disgusting

Lies and begging for sympathy!!!

posts a long rant about me trying to make it sound like I’m crazy when I’m hurt by his avoiding me since he moved to the city and has his thin and popular friends around again, yet he will not allow me to post what I feel on facebook!

11/13/2015 33 comments

Fuck this fucking shit

by Blackdog 11/12/2015

written by Blackdog

The only thing that holds me back is destroying my family and those who love me. My mom would be absolutely devastated. My suicide would probably kill her. And I don’t want to leave my dog either. But sometimes I’m like fuck it all, I don’t care anymore. And then I feel really selfish.
I don’t know if I can take it much longer. I’m gonna tell my therapist about my suicidal thoughts for the first time tomorrow (at least I’m gonna try).

Right now I feel I’m a really weak person. I fucking hate myself.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. […]

11/12/2015 8 comments

I knew it

by disgusting 11/6/2015

written by disgusting

I knew it, you knew it, we all knew it. He got his life back together, so I’m not fucking important anymore. All I get is “I’m busy don’t text me”. No, of course there’s no room for me in his world. I’m not fucking needed anymore and I’m sure as fuck not wanted!!!!

11/6/2015 2 comments

by Hopeful Cynic 11/6/2015

written by Hopeful Cynic

I haven’t been on this site for two and a half years and yet here I am back again. Folks around me say it’s a testament to my strength that I’ve made it this far, but I say it’s a wonderful combination of cowardice and my old friend Jack. I don’t really know what I wanted to say here but I just needed to say something somewhere to someone. A lot of the time it’s the silence that gets to me, albeit I bring that silence upon myself. Nobody to talk to about this stuff, nobody that really honestly wants to hear what I think. […]

11/6/2015 4 comments

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