Tag:

night

I’m exhausted..

by lezbehonest94 3/1/2015

written by lezbehonest94

I’m contemplating suicide for and more. Sence I was about 13 I’ve had suicidal thought. I thought life was hard then. I’m 20 now. And I’ve thought of how I’m going to end my life everyday almost all day for the past month. I was addict of methamphetamines eight months ago. Now I’m on pills . it’s one addiction for another. I no hat for a fact. At 13 I was cutting then I went to getting tats .

In 2013 I love my grandfather…then my mother on Christmas eve night 2013. I use to have everything o ever needed. And now I’m literally nothing. In […]

3/1/2015 1 comment

The other side.

by comomequieranllamar 2/27/2015

written by comomequieranllamar

My mother’s boyfriend hanged himself ten months ago.

I didn’t saw him, but for ten months, I’ve been having nightmares every single night. About him, or about hanging myself. I still think about him every day.

Things were really bad before he killed himself. But now, he just left a hell.

He was a good man. He was generous and kind. But he just cared to much about everything. Any small critic, any argument would drown him. Every thing that he couldn’t afford would make him anxious.

Yes, he was depressed, but no one thought that he was suicidal. And one morning… the surprise.

I try not to blame him. […]

2/27/2015 2 comments

So long

by apathyismine 2/26/2015

written by apathyismine

night

a never ending night rains down

darkening all things mortal

nothing else can be seen

but farewell whispers

curling into the night

fogging the air

everything will

disappear

misappear

contorted in appearance

with little interference

nothing to turn back to

but a darkness only night can consume

consume your soul

why stop it now?

slip into the trenches

and drown in sorrow

there is nothing left to lose

2/26/2015 0 comment

restless mind

by littlerayofsunshine 2/26/2015

written by littlerayofsunshine

Sometimes i feel it would be just so much easier to give in to temptation… to let the blade make me forget everything i worry about. Every now and then i wonder why i put myself through all this grief and stress when i could make it all go away and never have to worry about a single thing ever again… bad late night thoughts that haunt me.

2/26/2015 1 comment

Funny the Way it is…

by greystreet 2/23/2015

written by greystreet

Its been a very rough past few months for me. Hell who am I kidding, its been a very rough past 7 years. I just havent been able to catch a break. It’s been one thing after another. When it rains it pours? Yeah it’s been absolutely pouring down on me with no signs of stopping. Still looking for that ever non existent light at the end of this tunnel. Yet everytime I get to the point of no return I somehow am still here to live it all over again the next day. I have wanted to die for quite some time but I […]

2/23/2015 4 comments

Monster

by LostandLonelySoul 2/22/2015

written by LostandLonelySoul

I don’t want to be alive anymore.. I can’t stand feeling like I mean nothing to anyone, can’t bear the weight of meaning nothing to myself.. I can’t stop thinking about what it will feel like to be dead.. I don’t think anyone would miss me..

I have a boyfriend, but he makes me feel so insignificant, so inadequate.. I know he loves me, but I feel so worthless, and it’s only a matter of time until he sees that too.. And he leaves me too.. Dear reader, I love him, and he doesn’t say or do anything to make me feel that way, but he’s […]

2/22/2015 1 comment

Crying Every Day

by hopelessdepressed 2/20/2015

written by hopelessdepressed

Its like, things were all right and when the best times were yet to come, things went to the worst. Lost my one and only. Everyday waking up hoping that things would at least be better this day, while i end up in my bed crying in the night regretting and wanting a rewind button in my hand to fix things and make it as perfect and beautiful like it was. Now just the though of dying, depression, hopeless…….flows through my mind.

Now, wanting things to get better are only wishes that i can make everyday, when a cold and sad shooting star passes by. My […]

2/20/2015 0 comment

goodbye

by spines 2/18/2015

written by spines

i’m drifting away from my life and i don’t fucking care that i’m drunk at 2 in the morning on a school night again because i don’t even panic about this anymore and why should i? people are more surprised if i’m at school for once than if i’m away for a week. i can’t throw up anymore because i don’t eat and if i try to vomit i just end up coughing up blood and mucus. i just want to be perfect and clean and being perfect by my own standards is all that concerns me now. it makes no sense because i’ve only […]

2/18/2015 3 comments

Barley Living…….

by BrokenAngel8 2/17/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

Trying not to break down but yet starting to slide into the cracks at the same time…. No one understands my pain or whats on my mind right now. Maybe this is a bad point one someone says there’s only one you because you are unique. The knife is still in my back not going in any deeper but still hanging in there leaving me numb except for those raw tears I’ve been crying of misery, pain…. Just wishing to get out of it like a butterfly leaving its cocoon. Late at night just to get a little shut eye. But even when I’m asleep […]

2/17/2015 1 comment

am i stupid?

by alexmckim 2/16/2015

written by alexmckim

I really am stupid arnt I? After everything you’ve said and done… I’M still here praying you’ll see me… my heart filled with false hope as I stay up all night waiting for a single word from you. Only to be heart broken every night. You left me and ended our friendship because of something I didn’t even do. Just an excuse they say. It’s just a reason for you to walk away. I truly an stupid because Im still here waiting… praying that it’s not over… that you’ll keep your promises and what you’d said weren’t lies. But the longer time passes the thinner […]

2/16/2015 2 comments

Breaking Down

by notsureifreadytogo 2/15/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

Its just getting worse. First, all I could do was sleep. Now I cant sleep. I wake up in a panic attack in the middle of the night. Every night. I can’t function. Ive always thought I was strong minded. Solid. Now I feel myself slipping into pain induced insanity. I lost my family. The emptiness is crushing. Time is supposed to heal. But it only gets worse. My heart is broken. My mind is following.

2/15/2015 2 comments

Won’t stay long – just passing by.

by ManikinStare 2/15/2015

written by ManikinStare

I found this site the other night and from reading many of the posts and responses I can honestly say that I’ve never before been so moved as I have by the overwhelming level of support and consideration that the members of this community repeatedly give to one another.

The personal stories on here are some of the most heartbreaking things that I have ever read and it amazes me how people can open their heart to others even in the midst of personal crisis and turmoil.

I spent time in hospital with some of the most incredible human beings that I’ve ever had the chance to […]

2/15/2015 2 comments

Been on my chest for a while. My journal isn’t enough.

by notanymore 2/14/2015

written by notanymore

*i want to apologize in advance. These are the things I can’t say to the man who promised the world and took everything I had left.

I can’t do this anymore. I can’t deal with you pretending I don’t exist one day and making small talk the next. I don’t want to live waiting for the day you decide to start caring. The things you said about me that night are killing me. Was there ever a time that you loved me, or was it all lies? I’m so tired. You only text me when you’re sad or upset, but you ignore me when I need […]

2/14/2015 0 comment

First post

by CosmicWind 2/12/2015

written by CosmicWind

I made an account last night…Im not really sure what say.

I’ve been battling chronic depression since I was 14 I’m 24 now. I attempted suicide my first time when I was 18, and again at age 23. I was given one glorious opportunity at peace about 8 months ago, leaving this world with someone, someone that took all the pain way. I can’t go more then two days without wishing I would have just said yes.

2/12/2015 5 comments

The Only One

by Matt 2/11/2015

written by Matt

You were the only one I could really talk to. The only one I could tell when I wasn’t feeling alright. Only you don’t know that, you probably think it’s the opposite, that I don’t want to talk to you.

And now, you tell me you think I don’t even want to get better. Well, I don’t. Not really. I’m not cut out for it.

I would go right now but you’d probably find me.

I’ll do it tomorrow morning, when you’re out.

Don’t think it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do, unconditionally. But this is how it’s meant to be.

I had 2 dreams last night. The […]

2/11/2015 6 comments

never going to be ok

by silvermoon 2/7/2015

written by silvermoon

i live in a state of terror praying people away feeling like they are going to smash thru and take from me what they want. i clench my teeth at night. i hear things no one should have to hear. i gave up on god long ago yet god never lets up on me except to remind me hes not going to do anything to help me. i go thru a fog with my head bent terrified to be seen lest they attack me or kill me or rape me or burn me alive for being on disability, i only deserve to suffer. i am […]

2/7/2015 4 comments

tired

by silvermoon 2/4/2015

written by silvermoon

tired of my pain

tired of this place

tired of clenching my teeth at night, tired of his voice, tired of the cold hard floor and the lousy couch bed, tired of being a woman beaten to a pulp turning her strength against herself, tired of rosaries and patriarchal religions, tired of men who dont care, tired of the demons, tired. tired of them having kind parents. tired of the thoughts. tired of the anxieties so deep they prevent you from doing anything at all, tired of being afraid, tired of this draining, loud, triggering, horrific life i lead, tired. tired of pretending, tired of the four […]

2/4/2015 6 comments

I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like.

by ToastIsMe 2/2/2015

written by ToastIsMe

Ironically, I can’t actually describe what it feels like anymore. In September and October all I wanted was to forget and stop feeling- I was so certain that would solve my problems. Now I’ve forgotten so much I’m not even the same person. I have no idea what to say to people anymore. Writing is easier because you only see the finished product, you don’t see me daydreaming or imagining, or pausing; you just read this and that’s it. Face to face I find myself just sitting there staring. The only people I talk to are my roommate who is a self absorbed moron and […]

2/2/2015 4 comments

9 years.

by WhereIsTheSilverLining 1/29/2015

written by WhereIsTheSilverLining

I have wanted to die for the past 9 years.

I have been cutting for the past 5 years.

Every single days for those past 9 years I have thought about disappearing , running away or just giving up and ending it all. I spent those days thinking how amazing it would be if i could fall asleep a night and never wake up the next morning.

I’ll be turning 21 in two weeks.

Every year for the past 5 years, when i blew out the candles i wished for my life to stop.

Nothing has changed. It’s like life has just been at a standstill.

I still want to die.

1/29/2015 3 comments

Withering Eyes

by Listen 1/27/2015

written by Listen

Tears. Warm salty tears. I can’t hold them back anymore. I remember this feeling. This dark yet beautiful feeling of fear drifting away from my body. Seeing blood through my pain. As I lay in my bed of broken, sad bodies.. tears fill my eyes. Excusing myself from the souls laying still in bed..to go see tears break on the bathroom floor. I bring the razor to stain the white tile floor. To say hello to another tear in my fragile skin, and thank it for moving in. For it’s doing me a favor. Letting me suffer one more day. And one more night. Because tomorrow.. […]

1/27/2015 1 comment

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