I just got hit with a wave of emotion. I am really hard on myself, it started with spending too much money, then beating myself up, then calling myself a piece of shit. Then in the afternoon today I thought I haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I feel really alone, my life is a mess I don’t see any way out. I need work , I need to get off this small amount of opiates. I need some thing, I need total change but I don’t think its going to happen. I’ve lost every thing to live for and might have to give away […]
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First time posting I’m really just looking for places I can get advice without being judged. Yes I am new so just bare with me as I try to explain my story.
It all all started when I was little, I was told I had really bad behaviour problems this was around the age of 5-12 years old. My parents have told me the only way they could make me behave was to slap me, or to punch me just any means they thought was appropriate, I had therapy when I was really young because I used to hit myself, I never mixed with other kids […]
…lying in my bed, thinking about life. Thinking about people i care when it suddenly hits me. I care for no one. how can that be? how come there is not one person that i can talk to, that i can love and trust? i feel alone in this world like i do not belong here. That is why i made this account on this page where there are people like me. People that understand, unlike my friends. I guess Im just hoping to meet a person that understands, a person i can talk to. A person that has the same problems. I know my […]
I’ve never been to any forums like this, so forgive me if I make a mistake. Here’s the problem. I don’t want to exist anymore. There’s so many things that are wrong in my life. First of all, I hate myself for this, I am bisexual. Now this may seem fine, but in the place I was raised up in. Gays and bisexual people were hated. I haven’t told my family because I’m too scared but a few of my friends know and they took it in really well. I have one really good friend that knows about my problems, he’s been supporting me a […]
Today is my 21st birthday … For some this day is a celebration , a time to enjoy with friends and cherrish it ppl that you consider precious and they consider you in the same magnitude…… But for me this day is one were i reflect on the things i am not doing in my life and i should been doing. I reflect on the causes of my loneliness, the will to go forward that seems to be slipping away and unhappiness/depression that i keep in secret , mostly because i have no one to talk to … I see no […]
extremely depressed. I hide it in so that nobody knows. I don’t want anyone around me to know because It would just be a burden to them. Lost the love of my life and now have nobody. No one to talk to. No one to tell how terrible I’m feeling. Just alone.
I know how this may be like every cliche sad story. Girl and boy date for a long time, girl beaks up with boy, boy then becomes depressed. I used to not understand how people could become so deepened in depression all because they get dumped. This all changed this past few months.
I dated a girl, let’s call her Amy, for over three years. As it has it, we had actual chemistry together as that’s how we met in college. It was a true love at first sight. Amy and I in the later years planned everything for our dream wedding and confessed to me […]
if your ptsd ever got to the point where you constantly heard his voice
or compulsively checked email and fb hoping someone cared enough to say hello
no one had your back, no family
bad memories only self hatred hating everything about yourself and your life
nothing did the trick
and all you saw was terror and homelessness around the corner
if even walking you had panic attacks and felt paranoid
if you felt they would soon come and “take you away”
if you felt you didnt deserve to live
if you had night terrors and heard actual voices, if you couldnt have a real partner
if everything you did was futile and left you […]
I have been depressed or feeling unloved since I was 5. I am 57. I am alone. Never been first in anyone’s life. Let me be honest, I am not anything in anyone’s life. I am seriously damaged. I have never belonged. Never been loved. No one even wants my love with no strings. I can’t even make one friend on the internet. I am a loser. I have screwed up everything I touch. I hurt constantly. Told to be myself and when I am. They leave in a day or two. My sister hasn’t talked to me in 23 years. Other kin don’t care […]
I’m at wits end. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve happiness. I don’t deserve a job I can live off of. I don’t deserve a place to live. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve anything apparently. I try so hard, but I’m worthless, useless, ugly, no one would ever want me. I know I shouldn’t do this but I want to prove that I’m right, and show you just what an ugly, hideous, wretched monster I am. I’m not mad at the person I love. I’m mad at the universe or any higher power that made me this way. Why make me dream […]
yesterday I failed a test at school and was not suprised, I stayed positive and told myself I’ll pass it next time. I had a huge argument with my parents and my positive state of mind quickly turned to deppresion…I spent the whole day just lying in bed, thinking…why do my parents yell at me? why can’t they just say something nice instead of making me feel like I embarras them? I’m being treated like i was a mistake, like I don’t even matter to them. maybe I don’t…Today I woke up rested and despite everything I tried to be happy. I came into the kitchen […]
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“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.””
i’m really devestated even though many good things happined during the last periode of my life (i succeeded in finals and i’m gonna go to college ) but none of that made me feel better i still feel like i’m a looser and worthless person even though i see no reason why i should feel like that but i’m so paranoid i can’t trust anyone and i feel like no one love me they are all pretending..how could any one love or even like someone like me and i can”t make good relationships with girls cause whenever a girl date me and be nice to […]
As I type this, I’m sitting on a beach completely alone. I have no one, in the very end I’m alone. Friends are hanging out, couples are walking the beach holding hands, how did I end up like this? What is wrong with me that I have no one? I can’t be that unlikable i hope. Is god punishing me or something?. I met a girl, long distance though, though she really don’t like me for who I am, just for what I am. Can I not find any one real? Everyone is so fucking fake. Well I better get used to it, this is […]
I am not smart, not beautiful or pretty, have spent my whole life in a little black isolated hole which I cannot seemed to climb out of … my life is a huge black pit of depression and sadness and pain and I don’t know how to escape. When I was nine I was raped for three years by my brother, I’ve been cutting for ever since… I’m 17 now. I have no friends… No one who loves me for me…. I spend all my time watching time pass me by because I just have no power of what to do. I hope and pray […]
I know the truth I don’t have anyone and never did I just annoy people and ruin things I miss being hugged and talked to anywhere I was I hate hating myself when I die no one should come I’d prefer it I’m unfit for anything I deserve this pain this constant loneliness I can’t let ***** men suffer in silence I’m sorry to my blood line what a disappointment I’ve been my whole lif
I moved out of my mum’s house to get away and have a chance at living. There I was falling behind in school, and I had to raise both of my siblings and take care of them even though one was three years older than me. I did all the house work, cooking, and cleaning. I played Mum because no one else cared. Finally, ten months ago, I moved out and in with my aunt and cousins. I don’t know which place is worse. Everyone here hates me. I’m the ***** that moved in and ruined everybody’s life even though I’ve been generous and I […]
I am so tired of living this way. I am 29 no job no home. Living with my fiances mother who hates me… I don’t know what to do or where to go… I honestly believe that if I died tonight no one would even shed a tear… they would all party…
Randall and Salt had responded to my last post of Saturday afternoon which detailed the latest episode of exhaustion I had on Friday/Saturday. They asked some good questions about what may happen to the mind if a person chooses to take their life by jumping from a height. I was grateful for the honest and kind way they approached the subject and respected my spiritual beliefs. Below is my response to them. I am hoping others (or the two of them) will continue to respond, because their words, questions and observations, really did make me think. And with the large number of posts on the […]
I’m about to give up. I don’t understand why this world hates me so much. Nothing I do is right. Nothing I do is good enough. I do everything for everyone and what I get in return is abuse and lies and manipulation. I cry myself to sleep every night. If I make the smallest mistake I get my food taken away for a whole week. I honestly don’t see why I even bother because no one wants me on this Earth so I might as well go someplace happy. Not like anyone would care anyways.