Fingers positioned readily on the keyboard, pondering: ‘What story could I possibly recount that would validate my decision to end my life?’ Dispassionate and solemn, I dismissed the momentary notion to expatiate philosophically or quixotically –– I’ve had enough of cerebral & idealistic quests… ‘Has the nexus of your identity transmogrified into a psychogenic tabula rasa?’ Nonsense… Re: personal past and present-day, I have nothing to offer but silence; I simply want to die.
Tag:
Nonsense
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]
i’ve had it here. i don’t want any nonsense, just tell me how to leave this site please
It is amazing how much people judge suicidal people and it is not only the non suicidal. Within the ranks of suicidal the old are judging the young, the traumatized judging the better off and probably even a division within different diagnosis, depressed versus manic possibly. Everyone is trying to legitimise their own reasons, trying to be the most deserving of death. I do not think it matters why you choose to attempt suicide. Suicide is valid no matter what. Even if you did it to spite someone, it is just as valid. I believe they are all valid because life is meaningless. Death is […]
I have LPR.
It’s a horrid disease and incurable to say the least. Those with LPR have the pleasure of experiencing various, horrible, painful symptoms in their heads and throats. There is no cure. Doctors refuse to acknowledge its existence. The only one who does – a specialist – says having LPR is like having the ‘VIP pass’ to throat cancer.Guaranteed. The stomach enzyme pepsin is to blame for both LPR and fatal throat cancer. Proven.
And I have LPR. Proven. Therefore I am almost guaranteed to experience cancer, which will kill me. Painfully…
And even if I don’t, I will have to suffer for my whole life, […]
You wants to die. There’s no profound reason really. Doubt there is a standard set as to how one should live their adolescent life so it’s rather difficult to say whether or not you had an appropriate childhood. Your just tired. You can’t think straight, Your memory is shot and You can’t say you’ve ever truely loved another. Your mind is a constant cycle of nonsense and paradoxes, You don’t even know the truth anymore. All you know is if this is life you want little if nothing at all to do with it. It’s all a joke. A cruel prank played by fate. Your […]
He was beautiful in every single way, the way he looked at me with his big brown eyes, and how I knew everything he was going to say before he said it. Everything was nonsense it was like life was no longer real and I was living a fairy tale. It wasn’t until I met him that I knew, your life changes in every way when you meet the right person. He was the right person because when I was with him nothing else in this world mattered, the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders and I couldn’t help but to fall […]
So that’s it. I feel lost and emtpy. I don’t see why I should wake up tomorrow. I got a Math exam tomorrow, but I haven’t studied yet and it’s late, so I’m gonna left it blank, as I did the last time. Nearly nothing makes me smile now. Maybe music is the only exception, but even when I play my favorite songs on guitar I feel numb. Day after day, I’m getting more and more depressed. What’s the point of all this nonsense? I want it to stop. I want to be a 8 years old kid who enjoyed making sand castles again. Life’s […]
Here are some songs that I can relate to when I’m feeling depressed and suicidal.
Please leave a comment with your own suggestions so we all have something new to listen to!
Coming Apart (This video was loosely based on the story of Kevin Hines, a young man who jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge)
Coming Apart Music Video. – YouTube.
Water Under The Bridge – Red Hot Chili Peppers
Because I attempted suicide, I really like the lyrics – “I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-JodA2YcY
Gorilla Zoe Featuring Lil Wayne – LOST
“I’m losing my mind, […]
I tried a new approach to deal with my depression; acknowledging it as a sickness of the mind and body but not anything to do with me personally. I take full responsibility for my past and every action I’ve taken up to this point in life, but the issues slowing me down aren’t my own.
All throughout my life, I’ve been shown the way I should be by the people around me. What I should be doing, the type of things I should study, the work I should go out for, partying and living it up etc etc; so I’ve been conditioned to hate myself […]
Have i reached the point when i stop caring, when the numbness finally wraps me coldly…or am i just crazy
I don t know but it feels great. I can’t eat which is awesome and i hope it will last because i wanted too lose weight anywayz. I can’t sleep either which concerned me since i could sleep like always at every time of  the day and sometimes i overslept the entire day. I am failing exams and not studying but i don t feel guilty. I am not happy nor sad or angry i am just here, existing and it s fine. i wanted this […]
Well geez…. i dont even know where to start. My parents fought since i was little. My sister would cover my ears so i wouldnt hear it. We moved to ohio in the 4th grade from Sacramento and i attended a private school. I was made fun of for being hyper as well as colorblind, being asked if i was retarded or gothic because i like black so i quickly learned to shut the fuck up and keep out of the spotlight. I transferred to public school in 7th grade and it was better but still not good but I guess all the suicide nonsense […]
Maybe in heaven, there will be understanding.
Understanding of the motives of each and everyone.
Understanding why they feel the way they feel.
Maybe it will be more than understanding, maybe you will get a first person glimpse of what it is like to be someone else.
Connecting of each other to form a peaceful, heavenly bond.
Madness, disappointment, RAGE, hatred, disgust, FEAR, sadness, grief, humiliation, shyness, cowardliness, regret, sorrow, loneliness, Physical pain, emotional pain, stress, turmoil, suffering, HOPELESSNESS, nonsense, will be overcame.
Maybe in heaven, things will all make sense. It will all PUZZLE together.
Why there is pain.
Pain adds character. Pain breeds experience, wisdom, knowledge, meaning, bravery and resilience.
Pain makes […]
Something stands behind you
Blood comes dripping down
Blessings of the hatred
Falling to the ground
Looking for the demon
Chasing you it lurks
Bathing in the nonsenseÂ
It says it doesn’t hurt
Paths that lead to nowhere
Leave no tracks behind
Darkness folds beyond you
you struggle to survive
In the darkness binds you
A great and savage fear
No one else shall find you
As long as it is here
You grasp for you’re own sanity
In which you only see behind
A shadow of you’re enemy
A shape in which you recognize
It follows tracks endlessly
never tired from the chase
No matter what it keeps it’s […]
I am a little bit ashamed i am here now. I am not thinking about suicide again, at least not so often. I just have this constant feeling of being down.
I am sometimes thinking i am not capable of feeling good or enjoying life. I have those episodes of euphoria when something incredible happens and when life surprises me spontaneously. But i feel they are terribly rare. I know i have no reason to be unhappy because i have so many things and new people around me and i even learned to be happy because of others. I also tried to talk about my problems […]
I thought I knew my husband, but it’s clear I don’t have a freaking clue who he is. We’ve been together 10 years, married 9 and I don’t know this man. He’s been keeping secrets, and I think probably has from the beginning.
A bit of background, mainly for me…I’m trying to makes sense of nonsense. He’s from Nigeria, a doctor, I’m white from the US and a nurse. We got set up on a blind date. Married 5 months later. Me stupidly thinking he loved me. Almost immediately he takes a trip to Nigeria, for over a month, over the next 4 years he probably […]
All the people that know me think that I have a “good life” . Yes, I do have the “good life” yet I feel so unhappy and guilty living it. The parents who love me and who provide everything as much as they can and little brother I adore the most, even with them I feel somehow hopeless. I pity them. I pity myself even more. Theres nothing to badmouth about my life, I`m considered to be the luckiest kid because my parents dont do drugs, there is  roof over my head and food in my plate, good school, good clothes etc.
The friends who are not in […]
im tired of all this shit 🙁 i want it all just to go away…………..i dont really care how…..but it would kinda be nice if it was now…………i look back at the notes i wrote on my phone and i think to myself……………why dont you just put your missery out now……is it really worth going threw all this pain and suffer…..will things actually really get better at the end of this mest up world be calll life…….i do believe there’s a heaven and i do believe there is a hell but i feel like the one below is kinda pulling me down while God is […]