So I decided to end my life once again. And once again I failed. I had the noose around my neck, I was getting tunnel vision as everything faded, bliss filling me, and I stood back up. I’m far too heavy to actually hang myself on like the ceiling fan whilst standing on a chair and kicking it away, so I go for partial suspension which is all it really takes. I tie my bathrobe into a noose and tie it in my closet, slip my head through, tighten it and kneel. I don’t know why I do it, but each time I get back up right […]
Tag:
Noose
Me and my friend are sitting in my room im putting on makeup like i always do…i put it on my scars though not my face. and she just sits there staring at me “what? why are you staring?” i ask her “It’s just, you say your depressed. but why are you depressed you have no reason you have the perfect life! I mean, your popular, your beautiful, the dance is like two months away and you already have 23 boys wanting to take you! why are you so depressed?” I think about it, and i know the answer but it sounds stupid even in […]
Over years I have been abused, neglected, and heart-broken. Again, I thought it was just another night, I thought I had a loving girlfriend that would keep me going even when I was down. I was wrong in the fact that she talked about other men constantly. Saying how they hugged better than me, how they understood who she really was, and how I wouldn’t be as good as them. She kept talking about this one guy, and wouldn’t stop talking about him. While doing this, she expected me not to get jealous or angry. I did get jealous and told her I don’t enjoy […]
What do you do when only one thing helps
But you can’t even do that right?
Take the bottle of pills off the shelf
Cuz you fuck everything up in your life
Well that’s what I just did
Downed pills like shots on new years
Popped the tops off a couple of new beers
Ran up to my room and hid
Under my bed cutting my wrist
Making designs to shame an artist
My cuts have a contest
To see who can go the farthest
First prize went from my armpit
Down to my fist
Left arm useless but I still have my right
To end my life […]
I ask if some of you can take a minute to read something of mine. Its not special. I used to love writing. Poetry and the art of literature was my passion. Unfortunately like most of me.. it has died. I wrote something for the first time in many years tonight.. As I keep myself from wishing I could end my life.
Ugh.. fuck! I’ve always hated my birthday.
You used to be there. Holding me tight; you made me whole.
You were my love, my heart, and everything in between. Until you peered into my soul.
I asked you to stay. You told me no.
Why did I have […]
I’m a fifteen year old girl in the 10th grade and I have never felt so miserable in my entire life. I’m tired of being that optimistic girl that fakes a smile for the sake of everyone else. Most of my friends know about my depression but they think I’m okay at the moment. Last night I was almost positive I wanted to die, but instead of acting on the instinct to kill myself, I just lied in bed shaking and crying. I could never tell my mom that I feel like I want to die sometimes because it would either break her heart or […]
“It’s dying, It’s dying!” They all cry,
Your heart got far too close to mine,
And now it’s ripping, breaking inside,
My body breathes a sigh of relief as it’s time.
I can hear it in the wind, I can feel it on my skin,
“Just one more time, you’ll feel much better ” I can’t let these voices in.
“Please don’t desert us, we were always there for you,
On those lonely nights when you were lost and didn’t know who to turn to.
Self harm? No harm! What harm can it do? They take me away cause they know it hurts you.”
Now she’s […]
So I made the noose today and hung it in my outside storage. So whenever I’m ready and I feel the urge… I’ve been cutting and purging for the last few days… it seems to help for a moment but not completely. I’ve been in the hospital twice and I go to therapy wkly and am on an antidepressant but I don’t remember a time when my depression and thoughts have honestly been this bad. I dunno how to control my emotions… I’ve been diagnoised with borderlin personality disorder and am very embarressed by what I’m going thru. I dunno if it will be tonite, […]
I’ve been in the hospital twice in less than a month and tried to commit suicide 3 times… and the last 2 days I’ve been back in bed with hardly any contact from anyone and I’m not going to contact people and be a burden to them but honestly I’m going crazy… and afraid it won’t be too much longer… I just want to die, but I guess its my fault b.c. I’m posting positive sayings on facebook like I’m excited to see what God has for my future. My mom has asked for my schedule but I don’t want to deal with her because […]
A bullet to paint the walls red in my shitty apartment, A noose around my neck, wrapping my car around the first telephone pole i see on my way home,
they wont leave my head and its the worst when im seething at work and have nothing better to do..
Well I’m pretty much ready to go. I made my noose today and it looks great should do the job nicely. Peace out !
Just a little preface, I am a 26 year old male who works for the biggest telecommunications company in Canada (I cant say who….) as an Install/Repair technician. I am only mentioning this because it will tie together further on.
Well, I had this one REALLY bad day, and I had suicidal thoughts which would not go away. I wanted to die, just like most other days… I have this one way bridge near my house, and I figured it would be good to hang from. It is a one way bridge, and a few people I know would see me there… The bridge is for […]
Once I had a dream that I had just made an attempt to hang myself and I was looking in the mirror and there was a blue and purple bruise around my neck. A little more than a week ago I made an attempt and I looked in the mirror after I cut the noose off and my face looked awful. My normal coloring didn’t return until a few days later — I had to cover up with makeup and even then it looked bad.
That last attempt was the closest I have ever been to dying. I passed out and my coming to was accidental, […]
About 3 year ago I fell in love with a girl that I had known for a few years. We started to talk through texting, instant messaging etc, but we would never talk in person, ever, I mean I felt just guilty looking at her. We became “best friends” (sounds almost laughable now, considering we never said one word to eachother), but I always got so angry whenever we talked after a few months of this, and we argued pretty much every day (still through texting), which caused me to harm myself – most notably I have several long scars across my torso, a burn […]
If you don’t know, The Sunset Limited is a movie, about a suicidal man with two very famous actors in it. Its defiantly worth a watch.
Anyways, I feel like Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Nobody gets me, except for the people on this site! I’m living in a constant state of agony as I have never felt in my life. As some of you know I tried to hang myself yesterday. I landed on with my feet on the floor the first time I tried due to not calculating the rope position properly after the noose was tightened it left too much space. So […]
Hi Guys
I am back. It has been an odd couple of weeks since I was last here and posted. I want to share the story though, maybe it helps others who are feeling similar and wondering what it all means. I have definitely not got the answer though.
My last post was about how weak I was, how I thought I was strong but I couldn’t stay anymore. I cleared out my office at work that weekend. I spent a lot of time getting rid of EVERYTHING and also making sure that there was nothing of ME left anymore. I wanted to make it all as […]
I am uncertian now. Everytime I go past thinking about it and actually set up what I need to do it I cannot bring myself to do it because of the constant thoughts of “It could still get better” Also imagining myself happy living however I choose and I hate these thoughts that I see no truth in. I wanted to hang myself and I set the noose up and stood there wearing it but there was no way to make myself jump. My only attempt was when I as 14 I took 200 tylenol and 100 asprin without even researching. I assumed I […]
I feel at a crossroads.
I have tried 5 times to kill myself and 1 week ago I knelt in my bathroom with my neck in a noose and started to inject a drug to put myself to sleep. I stopped, and since then have been very angry with myself but also wondering why I did stop.
I have to go back to work, continue with my painful and pointless existence alone and it annoys me that I have to do this, yet again. Is it worth fighting or should I just give up because this cycle of deep pain is just killing me slowly.
I hate it when people say suicide is selfish. People that I thought I could trust say suicide is selfish, cowardly and wrong. I don’t know why I call them back, I don’t know why I answer their questions and I don’t know how much longer I can fake this happiness. Sometimes I fantasize while I’m laying down, I get up grab a noose and hang myself. Other times I fantasize grabbing that gun and shooting myself. Lately I’ve been feeling really suicidal, I watched people jump from the Golden Gate bridge and boy was it amazing. No one has a right to tell me […]
I’m new to the site (obviously) Been lurking around here for quite a while though. I don’t know why, Guess knowing I’m not the only one feeling fucking miserable is comforting for me.
I’ve been suicidal for as long as I can really remember. I guess the only reason why I haven’t killed myself already is that I don’t know how my family would react. Don’t really want them to feel bad… Then again, They might be glad I’m gone. I don’t really care anymore honestly. They don’t pay any attention to me anymore…
I plan on killing myself tomorrow…But looking back, I’ve said that so many […]