I am afraid. Very simply put. Because very rarely am I just afraid with nothing else to feel. There are usually other things, like anxiety, or stress, anger. Not tonight. Tonight I am afraid of the dark, of my dreams, sleeping; of going insane, of staying like this for the rest of my life. I can’t….. I just can’t
I was just called stupid by my own husband that decided I’m holding him back and that me cutting myself was and is a stupid way to let go of my pain. But what does he know he doesn’t know how much depression hurts and how bad of a toll it takes on people. Anyways he’s deciding that being with me is to much of a problem so as of now I have nothing to look forward to waking up to every day anymore. At least this feeling of hating myself and feeling like a pathetic loser is going to be over soon.
We all have our business with life, the job, the family, entertainment. When my friend approached me, I was also engaged in one of the toughest time of my life; My family was undergoing a hard time about which i could not do anything but pray; I just started my first job. My friend needed help and I complied, sacrificed as much as I could; I would leave my job early so that I can reach college at time to make my friend learn something so that my friend would not fail and when married, I wanted to see the degree in my friend’s hand. […]
Hi.. I am MrSilent. There is not much to know of me so I won’t bother with the details. I will give a very broad background of why I have chosen this name..
For years and counting, I have been silent. Silent of my emotion, silent of my thoughts and silent of my life and it’s duration. Recently, I’ve stumbled upon this community. I thought it would be quite interesting to be able to speak through text.. I have much to say but I will save most for later if I am still living. There is not a doubt that I am slowly collapsing, so, […]
Everyone says karma’s a *****. Well I that’s the case then why dose it only come after me why is it not ok for me to call people inbreeds and stuff like that, but its ok for them to turn around and call me a child molester, and I have an std and that I need to be killed and raped. That’s ok nothing will happen to them. Just me i have to take all the bad karma while everyone else gets the good karma. I tried to be patient, I’ve tried letting it go but nothing happens or things just get worse I always have […]
All day today I couldn’t help but let the sadness take over. It feels like I have nothing to live for anymore. Even when I’m around the people that once made me so happy and laugh so hard everyday.
Carla, my aunt, and Philip my uncle, said that if I drank more thank a 12 pack of cooers light, I’d be banned from drinking here again. Well I took a taxi and for a 12 pack of cooers light PLUS a 2 24 ounces of natural ice (the heavy stuff). I still didn’t get the intoxication that I wanted but I got the best – in retrospect, I should have gone ahead and got a 12 pack of natural ice, since Carla never came down to check on me. Yes I’m an alcoholic but I gotta figure this stuff out myself. Carla, my aunt, […]
Why do I feel nothing?
I just can’t find the energy or motivation for anything anymore, not even to cut.
My life sucks… My mother died last year before christmas and now nothing is the same. I thought that my life was already horrible, but after her death it was fucking hell. My father acts and treats me as if im the one to blame and im less of a daughter somehow even though I was the only one to take care of her when she was still alive, he constantly makes fun of
my weight and compares me to my little sister, my older bros and sis dont give my little sis and I some damn time to talk and
they treat us like […]
How come no one has ever told me how to deal with stress?
all i want to do is stare into the wall all day… and thats exactly what i do. i cant get anything done.
i want to get things done i just cant get an overview and that leads to me panicking about it and then i dont get it done. i hate it. every minute of it.
i get more and more depressed for each day passing.. nothing seems to cheer me up anymore. i cry over the littlest things. i cant hold myself together. my life is chaos right now…. i […]
I’m still getting through my depression. It’s almost a daily battle here at college, but I’m surviving somehow. I heard this music one day with my therapist, and I couldn’t stop crying.
This song has kept me through some of the hard days. I play it when I fall asleep. I wake up better.
Since I was 12 or 13 (over half my life ago), my mind has been consumed to an ever increasing extent by longing. By lust. Though I like to tell myself it’s love – that it’s somehow special.
Behind all my other thoughts is the constant desire to be with whoever I’m most attracted to at the time. Not to be in a real relationship, but to be with the idealised version of them that I’ve created in my head.
This is obviously pretty destructive, since it identifies meaning and happiness with a virtually impossible ideal. But I don’t feel like I can let it go. Something […]
I don’t think people understand the true meaning of depression, or what it really is. When you are depressed you see your life as something meaningless, hopeless, worthless, loneliness, and the list just keeps going on and on as it continues. I attend a high school and people notice that I’m always somewhat depressed or feeling down but yet people never approach me and end up ignoring me and don’t really seem to care about me or what I have to say. When people do end up approaching […]
it’s my birthday and I’m as sad as ever. I’m hiding from everyone, ignoring calls and texts. I don’t think my family even knows I’m home right now. 20 years and I have nothing to show for it. Being anything but sad an empty is a foreign feeling for me. I just want to hang myself tomorrow. I doubt I’ll go through with it but I want to. All I want to do is cry. but I’ve cried too much, and I can’t in front of my family. I don’t want to talk about it with them. there’s nothing they can do and they just […]
Today’s just been horrible.
I always say to myself that I don’t think I could kill myself because of how my family would feel, but today I really couldn’t care less. Not a lot to say, but today I realized something I didn’t realize before
I am definitely, 100% sure that at some point I’ll take my own life.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,
but soon.
-V
I’ve been dealing with depression since my teens l’m 30. Last year my husband past away and l have never been so depressed. Now I rarely leave the house and just wish for death. I have attempted suicide 3 times in my life, last year was the last time. I really don’t want to live but don’t want to kill myself but I have days when I don’t think straight and come really close to trying again. I have family I don’t want to hurt but I am so miserable all of the time and maybe it would be better to get it […]
Hello everyone! I’m a newbie to this website, and I figured I should post a little something about me- so here goes nothing. I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was in seventh grade. Ever since I was small, I has hyperaware of everything around me, spooking at the drop of a hat. This really fried my nerves, and I became even more introverted than I already was. I was also very ill as a child. I was constantly sick to my stomach, my limbs constantly trembled, exhaustion clouded my every turn, and I was an insomniac. My parents knew little to nothing […]
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so I fucked up my AS levels pretty bad, can find and reason to carry on my A2 courses. Who the hell picks physics, 3D product design and maths anyway? ( plus I’m female so literally all guys in my classes) I wont be happy with my body till its just skin and bones, and since I’m naturally short and stout that wont happen. don’t want to be pathetic but I literally feel nothing for anyone even though I crave physical contact ( major mummy and daddy issues ) have no career prospects as literally nothing but my morning fag will get me out of […]
This will be a long one seeing how this is the first time (and hopefully last) that I have done something like this. I suppose I shall start at the beginning, I have always been a loner even from birth it would seem, my mother used to tell me that even at a young age I would hardly play with my peers. Even into my adult years to this day I prefer to be alone, only getting enough human interaction to keep me sane. My father went into the military around the time that I was five and with being in the military comes the […]