My chest hurts my mind is throbbing. So much is not right. How did I get here. 27 years of age, no girlfriend and not doing well in school. Is this why I am here? To suffer alone? I am not a cruel person. I love people, I want nothing but to spread joy and fun to others. But for myself I am nothing but a prisoner breaking down slowly but surely. I would give you the shirt off my back just to make you smile. But for me I cannot be saved from this hell.
Tag:
nothing
I’m 22 years old and I feel utterly hopeless, at least compared to a few months ago. I live with my parents, work a low end retail job and have very few friends/social interaction. I’m going back to college, but even then I feel like it will be an utter waste of time in my life.
I’m introverted, so naturally I like to be alone. However there’s times where I get bored and lonely. Most of my friends either do activities I don’t like (clubbing, drinking) or don’t […]
Been home 2 years with back injury. Had a 2 level fusion and it has failed. Have to have another one. My business is gone. I’m financially drained. Nothing gives me joy. I love my wife and dogs and they are the only thing keeping me from doing it….but I am scared that’s not enough with the constant pain. When is enough enough? I know everyone will understand why. Lawyers, Dr’s, Work comp. Nightmare. I give up god, please take me before I do it myself.
Why did I fall so deeply in love with you that I can’t get over you when you got over me in matter of seconds! Why do I still see you in my dreams! Why do I think of you when I wake up or when I sleep. What was the point of me loving you when you broke my heart and treated me like I was nothing but a whore to you? Why did any of this happen.
I really don’t want to die but I feel like it’s the only thing I can do to escape everything that haunts me in my head and my life. I just can’t stand my thoughts and insecurities, therapy and medication are a bunch of horseshit I know this firsthand as I’ve been on countless medications etc. The only thing that breeds a positive change are life CHANGES and improvement. Nothing gets better if nothing ever changes. I don’t want to fucking hold myself back anymore, I want to be free. I feel like I’m imprisoned in my mind and it’s been too long like this, […]
I am 18 years old im not posting this for any other reason than to just do it, my lifes not always been easy but its not always been hard either ill admit that however all my life I’ve had bi polar schizophrenia I didn’t know about this till very recently and well my familys abandoned me they lied threw me out hell my moms a special ed teacher and well I never knew how hard this was going to be but I tried to commit suicide when I was 16 I rehabilitated and focused on positives it was ok till I was thrown out […]
I have nothing left to care for and I have nothing left to think about. I’m alone in the world and that sucks. I feel like I have no purpose and I feel completely useless, no one wants to know me, no one wants to care for me, no one wants me. My life has succumbed to a ball of nothing, my cold black heart longs to no longer beat and my mind is left to ponder the though of the blackness and nothing of death must be a bitter sweet relief to the heaviness the world has become for me. I no longer wish […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1w2QP2v8E8
Exploited
Human beings
to fill the pockets
of the elite
They say you’re “valued”
They say they “care”
Machine feeding machines.
WE NEED REFORM
What is this
Slave trade you prefer?
Unionized to abuse our rights
Unjust actions
to fill that bank
till your money suffocates
from the guilt
of the blood it took
I’m screaming for reason
I’m screaming from rage
I’m screaming for Answers
You will not say
I’m screaming for justice
I’m screaming for peace
I’m screaming for action
with nothing but satisfaction
I have a wife and a great mam and dad. I feel selfish for wanting to kill myself as I know it will finish these people. I have tried tablets before and ended up in hospital for a day or so! I was 23 at the time, unhappy with my friends, my job and being lonely! am no longer alone but lately (last two years) I’ve just hit rock bottom. I’ve made it to 32 years old and feel the world as nothing more to show or offer me! I feel emotionless writing these words as I’ve heard them in my head so many times […]
So I’ve done something that I’m not proud of at all. Being a Christian makes it worse. It also makes me a phony.
Ive been caught for doing this once before. Once I get a hold on internet connection, there is no limits for me. I get out of control, obsessed and desperate. It’s embarrassing for me really.
I went on something called ‘Meowchat’ and I started talking to some guy. He asked for dirty talk, and I gave it to him. I got nothing out of it, really. He then asked for nudes. I said ‘no’.
I sort of pressured me into sending one picture to him, […]
So I’m gonna share one of the reasons that tempted me to end my life (Read my last post). So, I’m not really close to my father. He always works overseas. And I always thought he was a good guy, working his hardest for us, for his family. Then when I was around 10 years old, I heard my mom and dad fighting, me and my sisters were downstairs, trying to eat our lunch peacefully when suddenly our mom screamed. She screamed at our dad, the kind of scream that breaks your voice, the kind of scream that was full of emotions. About 5 minutes […]
The world has been comming down on me for a long time now and i cannot keep up with it anymore, i hurt physically and emotionally and nothing helps, 15+ years of feeling terrable And i cannot keep going. Dose anyone have a reason to keep going? Probably not. So if anyone would like to help me do myself in that would a big help. I have tried but i guess not hard enough.
I am nothing but words
Soon…
They’ll be nothing too
I am self-destructing
While re-constructing
The lives of others
Death
The end of life for some
The end of torture for most
If I don’t make it through
Say something nice about me
I’ve been cleaning my house. Dropping bags to donate. Filling garbage cans.
I don’t want someone else to have to do it.
But it’s silly a bit. I’m making choices about what might be important to my children. I feel nothing about any of it.
I felt a bit better once I decided and started planning and preparing.
Now I can’t get out of bed again. They know I’m not ok. But there’s been so many secrets. I think they’re afraid too.
I got sober. I did what they told me to. And it was supposed to get better. I was going to be ENOUGH. But I’m not. And I […]
Let’s see.
No more daily emotional pain that is excruciating – more than any physical pain I have felt.
No more feeling like I want to scratch off my own skin just to take away the feeling of emotional pain
No more trying to face people and smile
No more worrying about jobs/cars/bills
No more worrying about will I find a partner.
No more worrying about my health and which diseases I have because I get a headache.
No more worrying about losing my looks as I get older.
No more worrying about anything anymore.
Just peace and calm and NOTHING. I have just 10 days […]
It would be selfish for me to kill myself considering all that my parents have done for me. They are the only 2 human beings that actually care about me. I just want to apologize to my parents for having such a big piece of crap that I am. I am literally already dead but still breathing. I stare brain dead into the computer screen all day, every tiny part of me is gone and I have to cry myself to sleep everyday. Being depressed for 5 years does that to people. How much longer I can keep going for my parents remains a mystery. […]
nothing is worth it anymore. I fuck up in innumerable ways without even trying. Turning to alcohol just makes it worse, causing even bigger failures. I never thought my life would turn out like this. Yes, I am smart, I have a future, how could I be so selfish, I have everything handed to me. I’m a wreck of human, inadequate at life, I have no purpose, no reason. I have messed up nearly everything and don’t want to wake up to face my consequences of anything. I’m reckless, and very soon I won’t be here any longer, unless the cats I work with this […]
Anyone here ever experiment with heroin if so what was it like was it enjoyable? Yes I’m aware of the negative effects I’m not a complete idiot I do nothing being completely clueless
Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT
I’m so close. Once this morning, I don’t know how close but it was this weird split state of a happy dreamland – very nondistinct, I would describe it as fairies, la-la land but there weren’t an any actual images, just a state of being – and another part of me just instinctively knowing something is wrong and my body trying to untie the knot. My body won.
Once my body won and I came back to this reality, I immediately threw the rope (bathrobe belt) back into my packed up things and crawled into bed. My neck hurt a lot.
But the thing is… I don’t […]