During the week I work, I workout, I’m busy doing stuff. I have no time to let my mind interfere. The weekends are the worst. I get lonely and depressed. Yesterday I was such a mess. I feel like nothing satiates me. I loathe weekends. I do nothing except ponder why I exist and wait for each moment to pass so I can go to sleep. But today I feel better. Distractions are amazing. To not be able to think… It’s wonderful.
Tag:
nothing
hi all
any advice on a broken heart, I am so so so broken, I have no idea what to do with myself either hang myself or run the fuck away!!!
I have broken many many bones and nothing compares to deep deep heart break!!!
Hello everybody.
First I want so say sorry, for my bad englisch. I hope, that you will understand, want I want to tell you.
I’m so lonely. Every day I’m alone, at home, in my bed, and do nothing.
I have no friends.
In the morning I’m at school and nobody cares about me. They just think on them self. If the classmate’s friend is sick, she comes to me and want to talk with me but only than. If her friend isn’t sick she doesn’t care about what’s with me. Nobody cares about me. I walk alone, I work alone, I do everything alone.
When […]
I finally realized that I’m depressed; and death enters my mind like a lost cat tiptoeing in my mind, giving a small purr. I’ve never been good at life. It feels like a job. Even when I was young, I wished for death. It’s strange hoping to die when you’re 10 years old.
I read Anne Sexton’s poetry all of the time, like they’re my words:
“Even then I have nothing against life. I know well the grass blades you mention, the furniture you have placed under the sun. But suicides have a special language. Like carpenters they want to know which tools. They never ask why […]
So last night before I went to bed I took 12 Panadol tablets and 10 nurofen. This morning I took 10 more nurofen and 2 more panadol.
I just got home from school and not much has happened other than my usual depression + a headache. I was wondering if there is any likely symptoms at this point.
The other day I took 10 panadol and nothing happened either. Along with taking 14 paracetamol a couple weeks ago.
I was wondering how many it takes to affect me in some way other than a headache? Or should I use something else?
Everything about me is one big fat motherfucking LIE!
My smile…. Fake as Fuck.
My conversation with people… Lies
Conversation with my family… Lies
I’M DYING people! I’m really dying.
I secretly cry in my room, wipe away my tears and have supper with my family like nothing happened.
My frown immediately turns upside down if someone asks if I’m okay.
I’m tired. I’m tired of faking. I’m tired of crying in silence. I’m just tired of everything. I’m tired of life.
I don’t want to be here anymore. But I can’t go just yet. I keep saying this over and over again. I keep repeating myself over and over again. […]
I’d like to start by thanking you for taking time out of your day to read this. I, like most writers, write as a means of expression, but to have my writing viewed by you is even more rewarding, for my thoughts are then able to be shared and acknowledged.
You may or may not have been a previous reader of mine, but for many years I wrote these blogs, and upon completion of each of them I was always able to derive from them a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. To read people’s feedback was equally rewarding, as […]
There is nothing worse that not knowing how you feel; than having inexplicable feelings. It really is the worst feeling in the world. Not being able to express how you feel or what you want is the most disgusting and awful feeling you could ever possess.
Why does it happen? How is it even possible?
“You must know how you feel, you’re the one feeling it”
No. Because if I knew I wouldn’t dread every single day. If I knew I wouldn’t be numb and confused all the time over nothing. I don’t know how I feel about anything, and I don’t think I ever […]
Goner is an incredibly powerful song by my favorite band, Twenty Øne Piløts (it took me a while to figure out what my favorite band is since i love so many, but i realized i clung to them the most – their lyrics, the amount of emotion that is embodied in every track). I love it so much. It makes me want to scream and cry and laugh and smile.
Good music provokes emotion. And that is what Goner does to me. It makes me feel everything.
Goner is the last track on their latest album, Blurryface. I suggest taking a look […]
My net is on the fritz….nothing new. I hope this one makes it through been trying for the last hour.
For you…you know what I am thinking…
I survived, thrived even, over the past three years by just one thing. Feel nothing. I promise, it works.
The dark will consume you, you know that right?
What do I do about it? How do I make it stop?
Make it stop? It is what is called an inevitable outcome, the bi-product of a hatred you have built for years. You can’t just choose to forget the past, when it wants you, it will come for you.
But I only ever meant to know why, never for a sinful desire to be fulfilled…I promise I am not a bad man.
But that is not what you tell yourself at night, it’s not the prayer you recite in your head throughout the day.
No…I suppose it isn’t.
Correct, it is […]
Another day living in this disenchanted society. In society I am not enchanting. In society I have to live a certain way and look a certain way. I cannot fit into this category. I can barely live. I am turning insane. I want to drop out of this cruel life I live in vain.
I am extremely exhausted of being in this world. So much is asked of me. On the outside is nothing but me and I am nothing to me. I hate walking around pretending to be like everybody else. I hate the falseness. Society is one false sob. Every single person idolized is […]
I’ve been depressed for about 6 years now, I’ve tried medication, Alcohol, weed and more. Nothing works longer than 1 day before it comes back. I’ve planned my suicide many times, and I have always just delayed it, with the thought “What’s next?” in my mind.
Everyone I have ever met always dislikes me soon after, if not immediately after meeting me. I have felt so lonely for so long, and it’s killing me; I met this girl online, We’ve only been speaking about 2 weeks now, but I’ve always hoped she liked me. She lives in different country than me, but the hope was/is always there; […]
I’m up with a migraine, I probably shouldn’t be staring at the computer but I’m going insane and nothing is helping. Blurry vision, feeling like I am going to throw up and rip my head off all at the same time.
A lovely post concerning a girl. Had you goin’ for a bit there, didn’t I?
by thelost
written by thelost
In the beginning there was darkness, and that seemed like all there would ever be. Then something amazing happened. A massive burst of light lit up all of existence while simultaneously creating it. In my case, the darkness would be my life. Not chaos, and there was no pain, but there was nothing to light it up, nothing to justify its existence. Then she came into my life, and it all became clear. I no longer feared the depths of myself, and I felt like the invisible hand that seemed to crush me from all sides loosened its grip. It was pure randomness, chaos that […]
I’ve become a different person to who I was when I first came here and that’s a good thing. I still crave emotion and pain and fear as a a substitute for the other emotions missing from my life, but I no longer contemplate killing myself. I don’t know how, I haven’t received therapy, I haven’t changed much around me, but I’ve grown because I stuck it out and even now things aren’t perfect but I’ve been able to help and understand so many other people because I didn’t let myself die.
please take the time to reconsider, things do change for the better or worse, […]
A homeless/semi-homeless person coming from the streets trying to get on their feet shouldn’t owe the government jack shit when you don’t get jack shit. Somehow my taxes got fucked up at work and what’s even more fucked up is I have to claim one job as two jobs because both have their own EIN and W2. But the deal was, my employer’s finances went through another company as they were a start up. When they separated and became their own entity, they got their own EIN and new payroll system. So when the first W2 ends from the parent company, with the grand total […]
Hi guys, hope you good, got some favors to ask.
I want to see a therapist, but I don’t know what the deal is with me, this sadness I carry, always thinking about how the living dies and hurts others in horrible ways and I can’t just do anything, can just watch. The only thing I can do is to be there for the ones I love but even then, nothing is sure. I don’t even want to die that bad now, I feel like I have a job to finish here. It feels like that my sadness drives me on since no long, but what […]
(void)
Shaking violently;
Plunged into a dark,wet…abyss
Tiny bubbles escape me.
Each containing a dream,
An idea, a memory.
Futilely, I gasp;
Trying to breathe them back in.
Filling myself with vacuity.
The bubbles slowly dissipate.
I become what nothing is.