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Tag:
Panic Attack
I do believe I’ve begun to talk to myself as if someone else is there. I’m talking to a pretend someone who will help me with my problems. Except I woke up last night on the verge of a panic attack with just an aching feeling of grief and loneliness, hopelessness, worthlessness. I just moaned and threw myself around in circles because no matter what, the aching never left
I’ve been going through the motions for a few years, now. Living on autopilot, mostly. I occasionally do something nice for myself; traveling to China and Europe and getting a new car and cool new toys. Sometimes that makes me forget. Sometimes it makes me question my decision. It always fades, though, and the reality always returns to embrace me and remind me why. I always smile and accept, too; death is a light at the end of my tunnel. I look forward to it, but it is something I cannot allow myself to have just yet; I am still needed. There is someone very […]
For some strange reason, all ive thought about today is my mom. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia about 6 years ago, and since then, she hasnt been the same. She functions fairly normally, but she seems sad a lot. She gets happy, but it dissapears really fast. I worry about her a lot because she doesnt eat a lot and shes extremely OCD about her food. We cant go near her while shes eating or she wont eat her food. She rarely eats everything she makes and always gives the remainder of her food away. Shes always extremely stressed. When shes mad or upset she […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]
For the past two weeks almost every single night I have been standing at the very top of five flights of stairs, contemplating possibilities. Imagining my body falling. Would I face up or should I choose to face the ground? I am still afraid. That is why when I find myself there, hands gripping the railing, it takes me about an hour to move. And somehow through strength or fear, I am still here.
Last night, as I started my walk up these five flights of stairs my boyfriend called me. Instead of finishing the climb I hopped in my car and drove to his house. […]
After the little incident, I’ve kind of calmed down. It took me a panic attack and about an hour of biting viciously to calm down. Which sucks. I broke my personal goal of no more biting. :/
I think I’m letting this situation get out of hand. I tore myself up about it and now I just need to let it go. For crap’s sake, it’s college. I don’t understand why I beat myself up over a fucking one night stand. So for a few days, I’ve been recovering from my stupidity and getting back on track with classes. It was going pretty well. Then last […]
And what’s the worst you take? From every heart you break? And like a blade you stain, Well i’ve holding on tonight….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
What’s the worst thing I could say? Things are better if I stay..
So yeah. Hi. Today has been… Interesting. As you know yesterday was 9/11. *in comes Daniel* ‘If they couldn’t be saved, then neither should you’… He was talking abut every known terrorsit attack. And you guys know I have that thing going on ith the illuminati and thinking that they’re watching me? Well, that got slightly worse too. Had a mini panic attack. 🙂 (Y)
And so now, I avoid people in the street for fear that they may try to do something to me. It’s a little worse than it sounds… I probably […]
i thought the term go away was a pretty clear statement… obviously not because it took my brother five minutes to get the message that i wanted him to leave, and the whole time i kept telling him to go away, that he actually needed to go away. so i was mad, sad and having a panic attack all at the same time. i still can’t calm down, but i don’t want to punch someone else but myself anymore.
so i had school today… and this year since i started having panic attacks in july, i’ve been really stressed out in school because my anxiety kicks in when there is too much noise or too many people. i have been able to manage when it kicks in in the classroom, but today they decided to have a ‘pep rally’…that did not work out very well for me. i ended up having a panic attack and had to leave the gym.
Are you ok
Or did you slip away
Will I find out
Or will it be too late
Is there anything I can do
For someone I just met
Or are the attempts futile
And should I just forget
Two years I’ve gone without
The cool barrel against my skin
Now I can feel it
The old familiar itch begins
I don’t often pray
But I’ll be torn if you slip away
So out to whatever power
I pray you are ok
I feel so paranoid lately. I dont know why. I feel like something bad is going to happen. The other day i was freakign out because i thought i was on a boat and we were all going to drown. then the day of the colorado shooting i went to the movies and i was so scared and paranoid that the theater was going to fill up with water and that we would all drown. I was so nervouse the whole movie. I dont know how i didnt run out of the theater and outside and start hyperventilating. I am so paranoid lately. I feel […]
My best friend told me he didn’t want to speak to me anymore and that we should just move on, he’s ignoring me now. He was one of the reasons why I no longer self-harmed and I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Great
Hi. I’m marissa and I’m a drug addict and an achoolic and “suicidal”
I havent always been like this. It started in 6th grade. I had no friends cause my best friend/ only left me for another person. I was all alone. Then 7th grade rolled around and I made a couple new friends and started to drink my worries away. I would rarely talk in school to anyone. When I got home I would alway go home and cry. I cut every night. When 8th grade came I was majorly popular. But it wasn’t my true self that was popular, it was my fake. My […]
I haven’t done anything yet but I’m about to either cut really deep or go down some meds. I need help from anyone. Please I just need to talk. If I don’t comment back, either my iPod is taken away or my panic attack may get the best of me. Please someone talk to me. I need the distraction or I might not be here tomorrow…
I listened. I broke it off with my cousin. I couldn’t sleep at night, had many panic attacks. This is very problematic. I think I made a mistake. She probably hates me now, well at least I will get a psychiatrist sometime soon. I just texted her and she hasn’t answered, anxiety is coming back at school. Never had a public panic attack. I’m worried.Â
I think i fucked up bad, breaking up with jasmine. She’s my cousin but these intense feelings are real, as real as pain, and until they go away, then I still feel love for her. Mot just plain lust. Yeah, she […]
Multiple panic attacks. Tonight will be a long night, I can’t and won’t sleep. -_- my third post and waiting for my 4rth or thrid panic attack this night. Keep reflecting on my epiphany very bad for me to to do. Oops not again. Fuck meÂ
For the past 3 months, I haven’t had a night where I haven’t either had a migraine or a severe panic attack.
I’m not dealing with another 7 days of this.
This will be my third post, and my final one as well.
Things would be so much easier if I knew how to not care what people think. Im waay to sensitive.
I just wanna be able to open up and let people help.
HOW DO I NOT GIVE A SHT (within reason)Â I am so desperate because I’m in a constant state of paranoia/fear/guilt. My hearts always racing aswell as my thoughts, which hinders my concentration when Im working. I dont eat much at all because the nervousness suppresses my appitite, I dont think this is a panic attack because its always there> I think I have an overactive amygdala, (always wired/startles easily even when anticipating, crys over […]
I just had one, simply because someone else posted something moronic on their facebook. Some bible quote:
Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men
My thoughts were like this; that is right, I am trash, I am going to be trodden upon, because I have no savour, and I can’t fight for myself, I’m horrible and pathetic and damaged, with no morals, no motivation, no drive.
Its like pearls before swine, and I am swine. A […]