Well..I am 27 years old. I feel cold inside, like I have no emotions or tears left. My heart feels like it has a large hole in it. I seriously have no friends or no one to talk to. All I ever do is work & stay home. I live in a country side of Alabama & nothing makes me happy anymore. I have thought about killing myself a few times but I know if I do then I will go straight to hell. But on the other hand, It feels like this life on earth is hell. I play guitar & drums for almost […]
Tag:
Part Time
Why isn’t there an eraser I can take to a photo and make myself disappear?
by dinolemons
written by dinolemons
That’s exactly what I wish I could do, honestly. I was looking online to see if there were other people paddling similar canoes as I am, and I wound up finding this place. A place where I can talk about how I feel, where other people might feel the same thing, and where I won’t be judged for it? Somewhere I can truly let everything out without people I personally know wondering what’s going on with me… I’m not entirely sure where to begin, so I apologize for the chunk of words this is going to become.
That’s something that I do a lot, actually.. apologize. […]
I got to me great aunt’s house yesterday, the same time that a guy who looked like he was in college was there. Apparently, he was Katelynn’s boss and best friend. He was giving Katelynn’s violin to my aunt, obviously, I was confused since Katelynn didn’t play violin. At least I didn’t think she did. She played violin. She was in 4 recitals. She had a job. And I never had any idea. I didn’t know that every time she came home late was because she’d been working part-time to buy a violin. I didn’t know she was actually a junk artist, and I don’t […]
As I am typing this, my life on paper sounds like the most ideal life anyone can hope to live. I did drop out of college and my job, but only for a few months as I’m planning to get a part time summer job and take classes again in the Fall (I’m lucky my parents didn’t punch me in the head for what I did). Everyone in my family is… family. Normal. Granted, my parents and I had our differences and argued sometimes, but that’s normal, isn’t it?
Childhood was relatively normal (minus being molested by two teeenage girls when I was like… 8? I […]
FUCK THEM!!!
FUCK THOSE THERAPISTS!!!!!
I’m really mad right now…The therapists say that they want to make me better and they will do everything to make me better. Yeah right. I’ve been in therapy for ten months now there and it only got worse and worse. I have going to the part-time therapy (5 days a week from 9 am till 3 pm) for 4 months now, and I have reached none of my goals. And those therapists…. they really sucked!! I really feel like they don’t take me serious. This was a conversation I had a few weeks ago when I told the therapists that […]
I’m 68 and have lived with depression since age 16. Anti-depressants help, but sure don’t solve everything. I’m single and have supported myself since college, but couldn’t handle the duplicity, meanness and emptiness of a corporate job and didn’t have the energy to start my own business. Besides, back in my day there was one career for women–marriage. I didn’t want that job unless it was a mutually fulfilling relationship, something I never found. As I told my mother once, I’m not a whore for sale and I won’t use a man that way.
I’ve managed to own my home. […]
I noted a reply to one of my earlier posts that stated I was not actually talking about committing suicide immediately or maybe that was never my intent at all. To this I reply, if you were around on the Suicide Project six to twelve months ago you would not think that. The only reason I did not finish the job was because I was evicted from my home of 20 years because I had lost my job and became broke very fast.
Prior to becoming homeless last April, I had my Final Exit all planned out and was only waiting for the best time…for me.
The […]
Why??!! Why??!! Why does everybody always say that I’m happy, and I’m funny and laughing and stuff?! Do they really don’t see that HUGE mask I wear most of the time??? It’s just so crazy. Today too, I was at the part-time therapy (monday till friday from 9am till 3pm) and the group and the therapists thought that I was happy and that everything was okay, and so on. And that while they know I wear often a mask and that it goes really bad with me right now. But how hard I tried, they wouldn’t believe me I’m feeling really bad and that all […]
This morning I looked outside and all I saw was snow. You may think: “Is that special?? O.o” Well, I can tell you: yes, it is. Because in The Netherlands we don’t really have severe winters or often snow. So when there is snow, it’s special. Especially when it’s like 6 inches, like today. I had to go to my part-time therapy (from 9 am till 3 pm every monday till friday) and luckily my father brought me. There was like more than 1000 kilometers of traffic jam, a new record! (on a normal tuesday in the morning it’s around 300 kilometers) and we also […]
i am turning 24 next month. i am a single mother. a college student and i work part time. i was an addict a few years ago and have turned my life around. i was raised by my grandarents. my mother is an addict. my father lives a wonderful life an hour away. i live in hell. i have rude grandparents as hard as it is to believe because grandparents are supposed to be nice they yell at me and tell me how lazy i am and how stupid i am how much of a b i am and how much of a sorry mother […]
I am 23 years old. Â I am a new to this forum. Â The reason I joined is because I feel relentlessly hopeless like all of you. Â I feel I no longer have an escape. Â I have burned all my previous ties with my family and friends, and I have not had a social life in over 2 years. In fact, I do not even leave the house anymore. Â I am alone, in debt, and miserably empty.
In High school I had an extremely fruitful social life.  At the age of 18 I was slowly covered by a blanket of  torturous anxiety. The anxiety is strictly social. […]
No matter how hard I try, and how many things I try to be good at…. it just all falls apart. All I ever feel is overwhelmed. I don’t think I do THAT much compared to most people, but I still can’t keep up. I am a wife, a full time employee, a part time student, a leader at my church and am running a photography business on the side. Lets not forget social life and family. Yet, I am not good at keeping up with ONE of these things. Even IF it’s a lot going on, I should at least be excelling in ONE…JUST […]
Probably getting our hours cut at work down to part time in the next few months. And my other job is laying me off.
Which means even less money on top of the salary cut last year.
And they are adding considerably more work and duties.
Not complaining but this place is just jacking us left and right.
Even though we exceeded paramaters for a year without a manager and six months without a direct supervisor.
Was trying to hang on until January of next year for my birthday but seems like it will be sometime this summer.
Guess I can take someone’s advice on here and get a credit card […]
I fucking hate my job. i hate it with a passion. its part time and i dont make money from it. the people there are horrible i cant stand some of them i feel like they all talk shit behind my back. it makes my anxiety worse when i feel like this. i get in trouble for things i didnt do or “didnt do by policy” wtf? why does it have to be so friggin complicated? i get up every morning get on a bus to get there i come at least a half hour early. i clock in by myself on time, i stand […]
(I was going to put this as a comment under my picture but, I didn’t really want to start a big discussion there about jobs and the economy)
Please, would someone just listen to me? Sometimes I feel like I’m talking to a brick wall.
I really, honestly appreciate the thoughts and ideas for what I can do. However, I am not stupid. I KNOW my options. I know what to do and how to be and what to say. Even though I’ve talked about myself in a few posts and comments here doesn’t mean you really know me or what my life is like.
I […]
I realize that there are many of you who are in the same amount or worse pain than I am. I need to tell my story, and hope that someone can help me.
The past five years have been a nightmare for me. One of my very closest friends died at the age of 48 from a brain tumor. My Mom had a stroke, and then died last year from cancer after receiving a cancer-free diagnosis only a month before. I lived with her and was her primary caretaker for four years. I asked my family if I could live in our home until January (I would […]
I’m a 25 year old who is married to a very loving husband. Really he is my only good thing in my life. I feel so depressed because I can’t graduate from college. I’ve tried to hard to pass math to graduate but its not working and I’m unable to finish. I have taken it several times and I have tried every method in the book. I am just not a math person. So I’m working at a movie theatre with teenagers to make ends meet even though I’m barely making them because I get min. wage and not very many hours, just part time. […]
So, here I am, sharing my story with strangers. Maybe that’s the best way.
What can I say…I am not seeing the point in going on with this charade called life anymore. I am 37 years old, and feel that there is nothing to look forward to, except working jobs that I hate that I feel are beneath me for the rest of my life, and being alone.
The dreams I have been pursuing of doing photography for a living have not come to pass. There were a few times when it was starting to look pretty good, but things either came to a grinding halt, or […]
Im thinking of killing myself my girlfreind hates me she says im always narkey and moodey she has told me its over and i need to move out i have two children im just worried about them when i do it i would rather be dead than a part time dad . ive tried to make an effort for her and ive stopped drinking coffee and im not as moodey as i was im doing more round the house its been 4 weeks now and she still hates me she speaks to strangers better than me has anyone got any idears how i can kill […]
not sure why i’m writing/posting this except that i so crave someone to talk to. this will have to do.
i just can’t see how things are going to get better. ever. i’ve made such a mess of things. i feel like i am holding everyone around me back. like i am the one stopping my kids from having access to a good life. i am such a complete loser, unable to function most of the time. i can’t provide for my family and we are now in dreadful poverty. if i were to die everyone around me would be better off. materially, there is no […]