Tag:

Peace Of Mind

I am healing

by lonewolf23 10/18/2017

written by lonewolf23

My father was holding me back in life and I hadn’t realized this until now that i moved out. I feel happier these days, happier than I’ve ever felt in a while. My insecurities are quickly vanishing within a matter of weeks. I had forgotten how social the real me was. Surprisingly I’m quite impressive with the ladies. I can sleep better too.

My fathers’ anger has empowered me to take a leap of faith into unknown territory but to my surprise I’m doing just fine living in an apartment by myself….more than fine…I feel awesome!! I will sacrifice a mansion for a healthy mind any […]

10/18/2017 4 comments

Suicidal Thinking is my Safety Net

by azalea 8/20/2013

written by azalea

I have often indulged in a bit of suicidal thinking if things in my life go sour. I think of it constantly during the day – and I never really thought it to be odd until my Therapist specifically made a point of asking me if “I thought of it everyday.”

In my Â most painful moments, my mind staggers towards a bloody, morbid mess of images, as if to soothe me. They are unusually sharp and vivid, unlike when I am not experiencing emotional pain. Â And pain – it seems that I have almost come to depend upon it to tell me what’s real. I Â keep […]

8/20/2013 0 comment

H.O.P.E

by ConfuZed 8/5/2013

written by ConfuZed

I have been through a lot but mainly it’s been all in my head but I’m proud that I’m here still, alive and fighting! Each day is a struggle but there are moments in each day that I am thankful to have been their to experience it. Hope is that glimmer of light in the dark tunnel, that peace of mind that you get once in a while and most importantly “tomorrow”. I’ve cried myself to sleep most nights and I’ve even had no sleep once but through it all I was just happy to be alive. Pain is a good thing because it means […]

8/5/2013 5 comments

I’ve made my choice

by almp 6/2/2013

written by almp

I’m nearing my end and I have so few words to say. After all these years of dealing with PTSD from my first suicide attempt,borderline personality disorder and various other illnesses that have earned me the humiliating title of “insane”. After years of humiliation and abuse for being the gay goth chick, being turned down for every job, and being shat upon at every turn. After relapsing over and over again and after losing most of the quality of my life, I’ve decided to take my own life and put an end to the misery that probably won’t get better. It’s taken a lot of […]

6/2/2013 2 comments

So close

by Sam 5/18/2013

written by Sam

To be honest I don’t know why I put up an act and lie that I’m happy. I’m not. Maybe one day but I don’t know my future it’s not clear to me why my life is filled with so much hate regret and sorrow. I don’t know how to tell them that I’ve not been okay I hate to see the worry in my mom’s eyes and the guilt that my dad has. It’s just to much for them to take.. Sitting here in silence and not being able to talk or cry and hug my mom. I came to realize that they have […]

5/18/2013 1 comment

Sure death

by SafeHaven 5/11/2013

written by SafeHaven

I want to die, but I don’t want to fuck it up. Helium hood, pills, slit wrists, even asphyxiation with semi suspended hanging and other variations, drowning….so much can go wrong i don’t want to wake up in the hospital with my world in even worse ruins. I’ve been there 8 times to date. I’m done with that. I don’t want sympathy, empathy, anything, I just want to die. I can’t get a hold of a secure source for cyanide or ******** as they can steal your money and leave you dry–already lost hundreds that way. I don’t know what to do. No subways where […]

5/11/2013 6 comments

I should have, I could have, but I certainly wouldn’t have

by sleeplesslydreaming 12/30/2012

written by sleeplesslydreaming

I should have kept going to therapy, I should have told my mom that I was sticking my finger down my throat to lose weight, I should have told her that my therapist wasn’t helping me, and I should have told her how low I truly was.
I could have spared her false peace of mind, I could have saved myself from this relapse.
But, I didn’t, and I wouldn’t, and now I’m paying for it.

12/30/2012 0 comment

That Day Has Come!

by ItsJustMe79 8/6/2012

written by ItsJustMe79

I moreless want to write this post to encourage someone else! I’m still battleing suicidual feeling real bad and if that one guy would email me back and tell me he found a gun, id leave work to go put an end to it all… but honestly I’m tired of it all! I really want out! I kno there’s two sides of me speaking. All I kno is if I have another attack like I did the other night I will end up doing it! And really deep inside I just want a peace of mind and true happiness more than anything. So the day […]

8/6/2012 8 comments

I lack strength

by lackofcourage 7/29/2012

written by lackofcourage

I’m just going to talk in a general rant manner, so sorry to anyone reading this if I switch back and forth randomly.
I want to kill myself, but I am too weak to do it. Too weak, too much of a coward. I want to die and become non existent. Die and finally be free from this shit fucking life, free from my depression, free from my pain. I can’t bring myself to do it though. I can’t even bring myself to really hurt myself. I don’t like being hurt and obviously I’m subconsciously terrified of death or I would have killed myself by […]

7/29/2012 1 comment

the end of my rope, as it were

by p. 6/4/2012

written by p.

honestly.

i cannot live this way, with my mind battering me into constant disintigration.

i am living for the peace of mind of my loved ones.Â they’d be destroyed if i killed myself.Â or so they say.Â i think that they’d be shocked (by the unexpectedness of exactly when it’ll happen) and saddened, then grieve, then pick up and continue on with their lives.Â with what they consider to be life.

my life cannot continue like this.Â i am finished.Â i am exhausted.

depression kills.Â put your family and friends on notice: this disease must be *taken seriously*.Â we can never ‘pull ourselves up’, ‘snap out of it’…Â if […]

6/4/2012 2 comments

One Dead Bird

by Violet Blake 5/5/2012

written by Violet Blake

I found a dead bird in my front yard the other day.

Normally, I wouldn’t be so caught up on this one animal because to be honest I really don’t like birds (long story) but this particular bird was different.

It started with my cousin’s apparent death that is encroaching more and more rapidly with each day.

My cousin, Zachariah, has been my paralyazed from the neck down since he was seventeen in a motocross accident. At first he was still the same cousin I loved, still able to move around in his electric wheel chair which he would always give me rides on whenever I wanted. He […]

5/5/2012 1 comment

Doesn’t matter.. Just read If you like…

by RogueShadow1281 3/10/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I’ve been counting down the minutes at my high school. I can’t take much more of the classes I’m in. I have hubby bars to combat my depression, but will it help my lack of motivation? Will it help me deal with my deep love for my cousin? Will it protect me from throwing my life away, because life is pointless?

In my FOA2 class, which is Focus on Algebra 2, I was talking with my classmates about the glass is half full and half empty and took the pessimistic viewpoint. It’s significant because that’s my personal viewpoint and I clearly stated it, you have […]

3/10/2012 35 comments

one or the other

by tphg 1/16/2012

written by tphg

so tired. My apartment has rats in the ceiling.

I had 2 weeks of peace as I’d moved into my new apartment. Before then, I was at my mothers for 2 month, at my dads friends house int he burbs for 1 month and a half and then ina shitty, insect fiiled apartment before that(for about 8 months).

Before that I had the dream apartment in the dream neighborhood but I had to move because I was paying too much rent. The cost of perfection was half my monthly pay. Since Jan 1 2011 I’ve been cold(uncomfortable), but like I said, I had two wonderful weeks […]

1/16/2012 1 comment

when you first get on this site…

by GrowingUpViolet 1/1/2012

written by GrowingUpViolet

When you first get on to this site, they send you to the read this first page, then to [http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/]
That site recommends that you talk to someone, anyone. A hotline, a friend, family member, or religious member…

But what happens when you’re too afraid to call, or don’t have access to a phone when you are ready to turn the switch?
what happens when you’re too young to feel so old and no family member wants to even acknowledge you’re their vicinity when you’re depressed?

what happens when the man you’re in love with is too controlling and you’re not allowed to even have a friend […]

1/1/2012 7 comments

Dear Hero.

by WhatDoYOULove 7/26/2009

written by WhatDoYOULove

Dear Hero,

Maybe I’m not nearly as important as I was a few months ago. I may not be at the top of your priority list, or even in the back of your head. But I want you to know I admire you more than anyone in this entire world. And I’m more proud of you than you could ever know. I’m more than happy for all that you have achieved, and I wish I could have the courage and the strength that I have witnessed from you. You taught me how to love and gave me feelings no one has ever given me. I know […]

7/26/2009 1 comment

My plea out there on the Universe

by ehlpfulfrnd 5/15/2009

written by ehlpfulfrnd

Please, Universe help me find a place that is appropriate for my healing.Â Please, i know this place exist.Â And i just need to find it.Â I can have peace of mind, heart, spirit, body.Â I can heal.Â I just have to get away from hostility.Â I know this is possible.Â

Almost all my energy has been spent.Â I traveled thousands of miles two days ago, thinking that i would find a place that wasnt hostile towards me.Â I hope that my plan worksÂ This has to work.Â If this doesnt work, i dont i am going to run out of options.Â I need to find […]

5/15/2009 0 comment