They say it’s going to get better. It isn’t. People who say it’s better to be alone than have bad company, have never truly been alone. They Don’t know how much it hurts. It hurts so much, I just want to rip my skin off so I can stop feeling it. One day, when I stop being a coward, I will be able to do it, and I will finally have peace and all the pain will go away. Life is too ugly for me to bear. People are too mean and I’m too stupid to not believe their lies.
Tag:
Peace
Not really even sure what I’m going to accomplish by posing to this website. I hate my life. It’s a pretty miserable existence being me. Not because I live in Africa where I have no food and poor hygiene. Not because I’m terminal with cancer. Not even because I was born to a horrible family that abused me. None of that. After everything that has happened to me in the past couple years especially, I can’t find a reason to keep going. I hate my god-forsaken fucking life. I hope I die soon. I hope to effect that change soon. And just so there is […]
…that maybe what makes me stay is knowing that I can go whenever I want or feel like going!
…that that gives me Peace and Strenght to go on!
…that suicide thoughts matured me enough to look around like I was already dead!
…and that I feel like a spirit most of the time…
I’m happy this way, I don’t want to belong!
I’ll surf  Life’s waves as they approach me…
<3 u all, blahh
Amphetamine Annie-dog
Pulls her trash and her stories
From place to place and bed to bed
Gives of herself and the magnet head
Another floor another ceiling
Counting stars with double meanings
Is it wrong to be swallowed whole
To disappear in her
To give to her the priceless peace
Of giving up control
We tumble out into the streets
And Annie dog she drags her leash
Pretty face ugly mouth
Bitter breath and so released
And by the no and in the yes
Annie goes if you couldn’t guess
A simple man a sycophant
Her elephant with the laughing call
She wants clean […]
Let me just begin by saying that i have contemplated suicide many times in my life time, mostly during my adolescence, but just recently also. I have been observing this page for a few days, and have been reading all of your posts.
I happened to stumble upon this article while searching near death experiences, and was amazed and humbled by the words so much that i began to cry. (not from sadness, but from the pure warmth of peace) I hope this brings you peace, and if not peace, a better understanding on why you are here now, and why we all MUST suffer sometimes… […]
Towards the end when Agent Smith and Neo are battling inside the matrix and it looks like Agent Smith has won the battle, Neo stands up again to him…
Agent Smith: Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you’re fighting for something? For more than your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without […]
Rip currents choking me constantly. No matter the amount of pot smoked, or the amount of Prozac consumed. Torturous and stabbing thoughts barge into my mind and kill the newborn happiness and peace with their burning hot swords. The pain is sour, hot, liquid fire. It erodes the walls of my mind that act as a nursery to the best parts of me; the healthy parts of me. Trying with all of it’s might not to tumble over and lose the battle, the walls of my mind rattle and shake to stay erect and guard over my inner happiness. It sends shock waves down my […]
Hi people, been like this for as long as i can remember, most of my problems are from me being lazy, i mean apparently a doctor says i’ve got depression too but truthfully i just think its my own stupid fault. I’m a big, lazy fat, 20 year old who spends his days indoors doing nothing, I see you great, amazing people and i wonder am i allowed to complain, you people are having to live through the real problems and i don’t feel like i should be allowed to complain. I’ve wanted to kill my self for such a long time now, though I’m […]
We all know why I’m here, so let’s get straight to the point.
I’m not totally unhappy with my life, but… I honestly feel hollow and depressed, and I lack a purpose for existence. I know that should I end my life my family would be devastated, but don’t I deserve to be happier as well? I’m convinced that killing myself will bring me peace, yet I don’t want to be so rash in my decisions. Can anyone give me some advice?
Well I’m here at the lake, just me my gun and what’s left of this case of rocky tops. For once I’m finally at peace, I watched the sunrise an set an besides that I’ve done absolutely nothing today and loved it. I’m ready this time no panic, no fear everything is just dare I say peaceful. My heart is pounding as I write these last words but not racing just steady hard pumps, I’m a bit anxious with anticipation about what’s going to happen after I pull the trigger so I’ve sat aside any preconceived notions about the after life and just take it […]
“Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me: I quit!’â€
― Bill Maher
“When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.â€
― Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire.â€
― George Sand, Mauprat
“What’s the big fucking deal? Lots of amazing people have committed suicide, and they turned out alright.â€
― Emilie Autumn
“I simply wondered about the dead because their days had ended and I did not know how I would get through mine.â€
― James Baldwin
“She […]
I know how much the decision to commit suicide really hurts. I know how much pain it takes to be pushed to that point. About six or seven years ago I made the decision to kill myself. Six or seven. That’s how long it’s been since I’ve been pushed that far. Luckily for me the day I made that decision someone, who I know consider my guardian angel, saved my life. We are best friends, sisters in fact, to this day. I’m so glad I didn’t kill myself. It turns out I didn’t want to stop breathing, I just wanted my problems to go away.
I […]
please tell me how bad i am at writing stories please tell the truth. . . . here’s the story
by summer_guy
written by summer_guy
This story is about the girl who learned to live alone.
She used to sit alone in her classroom. She used to walk alone because nobody likes talking to her. She used to be alone all the time. She failed in almost everything in her life. She was tired of the insults and the pain she had inside. People used to laugh at her all the time, make fun of her, follow her to insult her more and more.
She was tired of the way she chooses to fight with her pain. She used to cry all night. She used to stair the walls all the time and remember her pain […]
I miss you.
I miss you like hell.
Why did you have to change.
We fit so well together.
We were soulmates.
But you had to change.
I probably sound crazy but I’m so emotionally broken deep down in my heart I don’t know what to do.
Self harm is so relieving.
It’s how I tolerate the pain.
I thought this kind of stuff would never happen to me.
I can’t reach out for help. It seems unnecessary. I don’t want to disturb everyones little happy bubble. So I need to hide it. Hide all of my emotions so no one can see how broken I am. No one needs to know no one cares. […]
Looks like my previous suicide plan isn’t necessary for now. My plan was to wait for five years, then kill myself if life is fucked still, or if it fucks up. There’s no way of knowing if life will fuck up, but because I’m happier now, I’ll see how I am in five years. Eye surgery successful, even though I only have one real eye, the other one feels the same as the real one, no more pain, have friends in one state in my country if I give up on family here or if they give up on me. Either wway, suicide isn’t necessary. […]
And I have no idea why I’m posting it here but, I am. I’m exhausted. The only true smile that has come to my face in the past few years was just before my attempt several weeks ago – the rest of the time it has been this forced curvature which, I must say, I’ve become quite the expert at creating. The sadness. The consistent failures. The burden I’ve been to so many for so long. Iit’s just so tiring.
For almost 30 days I’ve had no contact with anyone in my personal life save three individuals one being my “brother” who lives quite literally thousands […]
You ask me where to begin
Am I so lost in my sin
You ask me where did I fall
I’ll say I can’t tell you when
But if my spirit is lost
How will I find what is near
Don’t question I’m not alone
Somehow I’ll find my way home
My sun shall rise in the east
So shall my heart be at peace
And if you’re asking me when
I’ll say it starts at the end
You know your will to be free
Is matched with love secretly
And talk will alter your prayer
Somehow you’ll find you are there.
Your friend is close by […]
Again? Were things ever really better..?have they ever been okay? Or were all those moments just a distraction..
I’m scared. And I’m alone. And I’m so tired.. and those words taste so bitter.. because I thought I was strong enough to beat this.. I thought it was something you could beat. In my years I’ve always shrugged away help or people. Because every time I let my guard down.. I learn a new lesson. A new, sad lesson that makes me tnink even more that its just time to give up this fight. And Ive been fighting all my life.. before I even knew what depression […]
For whatever reason, nights are always the hardest for me. It doesn’t matter what happens during the day, whether I was elated or devastated about one thing or the other, I would still end up here, lying in the dark, thinking about the same thing each night. I don’t really want to kill myself. It would hurt everyone around me, I don’t have the heart to, I actually have a few hopes or goals to live for, etc. I think about myself, really. I go through a lot during the day. So much so that it would take too long to write, or at least […]
Well, I’ve been depressed for 6 months now. I’ve been on this site for 3 months. My life fell apart during the first month of this year. I’m cutting my loses and trying to move on. I’ve actually made attempts to try to better myself as a person. I’m been going to psychiatrist for 3 months. I’ve decided on taking driving courses. I’ve also went back to the gym. Still, life bullshit keeps raining down on me and I’m finding out that I am my biggest hurdle. I look in the mirror and I see an enemy. I’ve messed up more times then I can […]