People say that Im one of the last person on earth that dosent have a cold heart that sacrifice her self for anybody that always wanna help
but I dont see my self like that I dont even know who I am
The wrong people get shot innocently. Why couldn’t a couple of guys joy riding come along and do me a favor and shoot me in the back. I wish I could switch places with Chris Lane.
I have posted here before, a while ago already.
Anyways, now I’m still in this mess, alone every single day, doing nothing. No one who cares about this, because “autism is the problem”. I will be starting therapy to deal with my autism in 2 weeks, so I guess that is a good thing.
Although i dont believe this is the “problem” I just let it run it’s course, I mean, all those psychiatrists are trained for it right? They sure must know it better than me?
Now I have been sitting home every single day, alone, for the past year, doing nothing at all. I rarely talk […]
I’m 24 but i feel like i’m 16. Â This sumer has been the longest one ever I feel like I’m hiding from all my friends so that i don’t have to answer the question what are you doing right now? Whats next? Hows school?
What am I doing right now?! I”m trying not to fall off the edge every day feels the same and I’m wondering why am I still here why didn’t I die? Â I see news reports every day about innocent people being killed and i wonder why are they gone but i’m still here? Â Why couldn’t it work? Â Why am I so useless […]
Everything I do fails. Everything. Something really good will happen to me, and then I basically get slapped across the face. I feel like nothing is worth effort anymore because something inevitably goes wrong for me.
I feel like there is no meaning for anything in my life anymore. I feel like I’m just in the universe to be taken advantage of. The people I care about don’t care about me. And when I try, people don’t see it.
I’ve noticed people only want to be around me if I’m giving. If I’m selfless. If I ever do something for myself or want something for myself I […]
Why do I have to be so awkward around new people? I don’t really care what they think of me. I wish I would still say, “I don’t care what they think of me.” But I do… And that’s what sucks the most. I get told that I’m funny, but I feel like a fool. I feel as though I’m going though more than half my life in a daze not knowing what to do or say. Ugh, hell I don’t even know what to say now as I’m writing this.  And I can’t even give a presentation without having a panic attack or choking on […]
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
Anosmia. A temporary or permanent inability to perceive odors.
For example: When you enter a restaurant you can smell all the food. But half way your meal you are no longer aware of all the smells.
This phenomenon is called neutral adaptation. So if this can happen with smells and odors. It seems very likely also to be possible with the input we, humans, receive every day from the way other people act and make decisions, social media and news reports. We keep hearing and seeing the same things over and over… and over again. We become numb. So might this be one of the reasons people like […]
Why does everybody tell me they’re sorry, sorry for what!? I’m pretty sure it’s not your fault I’m fucked in the head beyond repair. I feel like i have to scream at them “don’t tell me you’re sorry, cause i know, o i know, you’re not” it’s bullshit people should just fuck off i don’t even know what people are saying to me anymore, ugh everything’ll be fine when the meds come i’ll finally be able to od 🙂
Strength. Courage. Love. Happiness.
I thought I was strong, but these past few days have shown me otherwise. I’ve slowly been changing each and every day…and not for the better.
A few years ago, I used to be suicidal. I would only wake up in the mornings to think about death, cutting, and hatred. I hated the world around me and it hated me back. I had accepted that. I got no support from friends or family surrounding me so I had learned to depend on only myself. It took a few years, but I was able to get past all this. I had finally believed that I […]
I can’t do anything right. It seems like I’m just an illusion to everyone. I told my friends that I cut, and now I don’t have friends. The one person that remains knows that I want to commit suicide on January 1st. But he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’ll even notice I’m gone. I mean, I’m dead already! I hate myself. I’m stupid, fat and have nothing to offer the future. People say that it gets better, but it doesn’t. I’m still waiting for a fix! I can’t even do therapy because I started to lie to her them! The fucking damned shrinks. They […]
DON’T YOU DARE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJxgrSCZJ1s
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother, father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will […]
When I was nine my stepdad started drug dealing. The people that he would sell to were either junkies off the street or very powerful people. To help his buisness he would strap me down to a chair and test the drugs out on me in front of his clients and when he bought off of some one. He sold crack, oxicotten, pain killer, meth, weed pretty much any drug you could think of. I dont know how he gets it all i know is ive been the test dummy for 5 years.
I don’t really try to be. It fucking sucks that I have to be around people who usually would make me feel better, and not feel better.
I want to know whether people actually share the same perspective of life like mine. Open for discussions. No arguments please, I respect all your opinions. I just want to know how many thinks the same way, I dont try to impose anything. Thank you.
1. After a while of trying and failing, you start wondering if the problem is your own self.
2. The God of this human world is money.
3. Humans are all trash. They say good things, say they love and care, but then they lie, they scheme, they betray, they backstab. Humans try to blame it on the evil but THEY are the […]
Am I wrong for saying if people want to hurt/ kill themselves it’s okay? o – o
Like I understand if your crying out for help and want to change that’s okay, and I’ll even try to help.
Because if you were really going to kill yourself you wouldn’t say anything… or at least I wouldn’t…
Any ways It wouldn’t matter what people say.. but if your really trying and looking for a reason not to do it message me on my email and I’ll talk to you I will be there for you.
Sorry to the people that will be & were, Â “Butt-Hurt.” By my thoughts.
If you are […]
I want to go somewhere. I want to be free.
With people just like me.
I’m thinking of a mini forest in the mountains full of magnificent beautiful flora.
There’s a blue stream running there in front of me, flowing.
Up above, there’s two giant white clouds contrasting against the black night sky.
In between the clouds is a palace. That’s my goal.
That’s a place where you are free of problems. You’re listened to and respected. It’s where you make everyone happy, even yourself!
To get there I must earn my wings though. I must recruit people. People who are just like me.
Guys, […]
Im not sure if this is the one that shows up in the homepage
I fuckinfg hate everybody I hate where im from My poor dad got accused of a crime(sex offender) and I had to see him walk around with this fucked up look on his face for fucking years,till we moved from our old house, they even fucked up his truck the back of it sctartchted it up…He kept the same job for years. There was always this white van parked in front of my house I don’t know if someone parked it there on purpose,but I didn’t realize people ‘knew about my dad’ […]
Wednesday I decided to do what most of you told me to do, travel. I went out, got a boat ticket, and went to Puerto Rico. No hotels, no houses, no other people.Just me and my car. I was having the time of my life speeding in the hills and going round corners like a mad man until i heard 3 loud bangs and the engine turned off…. when i lifted my bonnet up my engine was fried, my battery was soaked in yellow liquid, and my exhaust was cracked…. The one thing i looked after in this world was dead….. I had to wait […]
This is my 17th year on Earth. I honestly didn’t expect to make it this far, and yet, I have. Over the past couple of years I have tried so many times to get help, sometimes it helps for a little while but I still end up back in the same horrible place. I’m at the point now where I don’t believe that there is any hope for me and I’ve accepted that. I just want to get everything that needs to be done before I die done, that is why I am writing this. I haven’t really shared my story before, I don’t even […]