Live fast, die young, and leave a good lookin corpse. That’s the way we always lived our lives growing up, some of us succeeded, some of us ( like myself ) didn’t. Oh I lived fast, ( still am ) but I didn’t die young, and let’s face it, the GOOD lookin corpse things went right out the window years ago. I grew up and still live in Detroit. Growing up we didn’t have anything but that didn’t matter cause we really didn’t need anything, hell there was no such thing as cable, or video games, we had hot wheels, the […]
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my husband asked me last night if I wanna go home ….when I said yes he did something really shocking and said OK he will talk to his mother and he will try to go home …good right …BUT…..wait for it………I will have to see what mom says OH MY FUCKING GOODNESS he can’t just tell hiss mother were going home after his birthday can’t do it….OHHHH and here’s another good one we might have to go back to FLORIDA because his car is there and its a hassle to get a shipper what dose he wan’t to do drive home in his two person […]
This is only my second post on here, my first post I wrote exactly how I feel and while doing this just desperately wishing I’d be blessed with a child and start a family with my boyfriend. But after one persons comment, I realised im not the only person whos feeling the way I am, upset about the things im upset about and feel helpless. Ive spoken to friends an they all have their own problems too, but what kept me down about myself is im the only person I knew of with my sort of issues and feelings. I hated it, but knowing someone […]
Dear all,
I got the first email which someone had asked for help. Someone cannot take Depression anymore and wished to erase herself from existence. Due to privacy, I will not disclose the name. I wasn’t sure of what happened but I have replied the email, hoping to hear from the person soon. I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist; I do not have the expertise in medication or knowledge of how to deal with Negativeness and by that, Depression or any of the problems that many are facing. I can only be a reader and/or a listener of your problems and challenges faced, be it created […]
What do you do when suddenly the person who meant the world to you, is gone. When you’ve shared everything with that person, built up trust in them, grew with them, gave them all of you.. shared all your “firsts” with them because you knew they would be there forever and you knew them so well – or you thought you did. You “knew” they would never betray you or lie to you because they loved you and you had so much confidence in it that there was absolutely no questioning it. You do everything for that person, for years they are your best friend […]
Hello. I didn’t post yesterday. I just forgot was all. Nothing to worry about just in case a few of you were. Today my school had the annual senior presentations. At my school there is a heavy focus on engineering, and every year, starting since I was a freshman, the seniors show the school and a couple of local engineers who act as judges what they worked on. I used to be so excited for the event, since I want to be an engineer, but lately I didn’t really care. Then there was the keynote speaker. He was some German dude who has been working […]
How do you get over a 5-year relationship, that was with your best friend and the only person who truly knew everything about you and did everything with. I feel like I’ve lost everyone because of him because when we were going out he would only want to be with me and he used to drag me away from my friends so I would spend time with him. Now I have no one left because of him and he’s left me. I need some opinions on what I can do, I don’t want to be in a new relationship because I can’t bear it. I […]
But how can I know that you are really capable of thinking and I am the only real person here ?
I think that I’m past the point of being depressed. Feeling has gotten old and I’m tired of it.
I was doing good for a little while, after I had attempted and survived my first suicide attempt in high school. I found things that helped, like meditation and mindfulness.
I read some self help books that really changed the way I think (I’m only mentioning this incase someone reads this, I HIGHLY recommend you read some books by Eckhart Tolle: A New Earth & The Power Of Now)
I used to be a good person. I don’t know if I am anymore. It’s been a while since anyone […]
Uncertainty is probably the thing I hate most about life. Or maybe it’s feelings. If I had no feelings, or if I could regulate them like a normal person, uncertainty wouldn’t bother me. I often beat myself up or behave self-destructively because even though it makes me feel miserable, I’m in control of that misery. Which often seems infinitely preferable to taking a risk and making myself vulnerable to acute uncontrollable emotional pain.
I have to make a big decision by tomorrow about my next job. A lot of people would probably want to be in my situation, but I can’t stop dwelling on the downside […]
So today I was online talking with people and everyone is having a nice conversation and then there is this one person that comes in. He/she all of a sudden are doing a role-play thing about committing suicide. He/she was writing about grabbing a knife and all. And here’s the thing that bothers me the most, he/she is not one bit suicidal (I asked one of his/her friends to see of he/she really was) Um… excuse me!? What the fuck is wrong with you!? There are people who are really suicidal and he/she is over here using it as entertainment. He/she is probably even using […]
I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I just don’t love any of you any more. I say that I do, and sometimes I feel an echo inside of the feeling that used to be signified by those words. But I don’t love you any more. I go through the motions, and I say the right bits of dialogue. But inside I’m empty and lonely and tired.
The road stretching ahead is more of the same emptiness. There’s no place I want to travel to, nothing I want to do, no one I want to see. I’m tired of movies, tired of books, tired of the […]
Hello. Today was a bad day. I didn’t get yelled at or anything, just an angry look. That just made me realize how alone I am in this. I understand SP will be there for me, but outside of that, I have no one to talk to. I’m alone on this. I’m kind of a disappointment. And they are justified in being disappointed in me. I’m not the most outgoing person and I’m kid of lazy and pathetic. To them they’ve put so much money and time and effort into me only to have me come out as a sort of nothing. I see why […]
I have one friend and I love him so much. No one could ever understand how much I love him.
I’m mentally “ill”, and he’s not, and he doesn’t understand me, but he loves me anyways, even if he can’t understand the things I feel…
And I’m so happy that he loves me so much.
But it’s so hard to give him space when all I want to do is be around him.
I want to spend all of my time with him.
I’ve always been so lonely all of the time.
And now I have not just a friend, but a lover, and it makes me so happy, to not […]
It’s like I’m stuck in limp mode like a vehicle does when something seriously goes wrong with it. Even when I’m not in a depressed state I find myself conserving energy in everything I do. I’ll have a piece of toast for breakfast instead of eggs because it’s easier. I won’t do my hair or wear decent clothes (laundry) if I’m not leaving the house (which is at least 5 days of the week). Then when I do leave the house I do the bare minimum to just not look like a complete slob. It seems like complete laziness, but I just can’t seem to justify making […]
How many times have I heard that a suicidal person is selfish if he/she kills him/her self? That makes me so angry, because I know the pain, the years of unending pain, that leads one to attempt suicide. When I hear things like “you’ve hurt so many people who care about you,” I want to scream “what about a pain that drives me to want to die.” Doesn’t that mean anything!
Does anyone else on this site relate? I’d like to read your input.
It is my first time to post anything, not my first time to think about hanging up the hat. Life can be what one makes of it and often what you see mainly depends on what you look for. I’m 32 and have always looked for the best in people. I was taught to love and forgive, to turn the cheek and be selfless. It made me a clueless person and an easy target for lots of things. My childhood wasn’t exactly sheltered,PTSD and daily panic attacks have been the norm for three decades. Between witnessing my mom commit suicide and living among […]
Hey everyone,
My story might not be important to most,but I’m writing this because I wanted to.I’ve been diagnosed with Bipolar 2 disorder & Social Anxiety disorder for about 5 years now.Been hospitalized 2 times for suicidal ideation ,but as you can tell those weren’t really effective in helping me.Nearing Graduation now,I’m not really excited looking forward my future & such.I actually see my death kinda relatively close now that I think about it.Either it’s the nihilistic apathy that is slowly killing me or the reality check that is the real world.
For me,I’m naturally a cynical,misanthropic,and pessimistic person.That itself does contradict with my personality type which is ISFJ ironically.Ultimately I […]
I am a person who needs a lot of guidece.
I’m reading a book by Gandhi.
I’m reading a red letter edition of the NIV Bible.
I’m keeping a journal and I write whatever comes to my mind and tear out what I don’t like.
I often just nod or shake my head when I’m asked a question.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.