This pulsating pain in my right shoulder, does it mean I’m awake? No… No, I’m obviously still dreaming. I know I should just keep dreaming but with all of the bs in the world, what’s the point? America’s considering voting for a stupid version of Hitler for President, a terrorist group thinks their plan makes sense when it really doesn’t and the world is one itchy, trigger finger away from World War 3! Hah, isn’t the human race wonderful! World peace will be achieved soon! “…And I thought my jokers were bad…” It’s a shame the answer is simple but humans are too fundamentally selfish […]
I’m laying in bed on the verge of saying fuck it and shutting it all down. The hardest part is actually finding the perfect method.. At this point im completely calm and collected, I just want it to be as painless as possible. I’ve actually died once before for a few seconds. And remained in intensive care and on suicide watch after attempting an overdose. But from past experiences, over dose hasn’t actually worked. Sadly its my go to method, mostly because I either dont have resources for other methods, or it seems too painful. I just want to go as peacfully as I can.
Is it bad that nowadays I find myself not caring about absolutely anything? I don’t have any drive or motivation in my life, and it seems sometimes like things which used to interest me, now cease to exist in my daily life whatsoever. This all began at the beginning of this year (I’m currently a Sophomore in high school). 15 year old me wanted to fit in, be accepted into a certain clique, hang out with new people, do well on my exams, study hard, and to generally just view the world from a whole new perspective for once in my life. Before this year, […]
You could have never known, and things would be no different. I tried to stay in touch; I made it clear I valued your friendship. I know life can be busy, and when so many people are on the edge of depression it’s hard to get excited about anything at all.
Even a person.
You’re forgiven for that, just like you always have been. I’ve never been known for a shortage of apologies after all; but you don’t get to pretend you just lost me.
You lost a little of me when I told you that secret, the one I could barely face myself, and you made me […]
I’ve been so angry for the past two days and I don’t really know why, I just have this rage inside me that’s extremely hard to control. I’m becoming more violent and my already small amount of patience is dwindling to nothing. All day I’ve felt like punching a wall, or punching someone. My skin feels tingly when I’m angry and I’m not gonna lie, it feels good. I feel like I’m invincible and like no one can touch me. Three nights ago, my girlfriend temporarily disabled her Instagram account and I was really worried and I spiraled down so fast, and ever since that […]
The past hour has been dedicated through reading posts, comments and conversations on this site. It sort of helped relieve this constricting feeling in my chest, to know that there are others experiencing the near exact feelings that i’ve kept to myself for years. As well as finally feeling like this is a safe place to discuss aforementioned feelings.
I’ve had a private journal for some time on another site. I like to use it to attempt to look back at my past mind sets, and see that i’ve progressed past those terrible moments in time. Lately though, the entries have become painful reminders and bring […]
I’m a below average statured man, yet i htink my looks may be not that bad. at a certain point in my life i began that noticing sometimes in public setting women would notice me.
Like this morning i went for lunch with my parents at a fine restaurent when then this gorgeous girl walked in with (i think) her Grandparents and they sat in a table next to us and it happened she noticed me.
Maby its the reason i’m feeling so bad today knowing that i’m a socially awkward fuck, that i dont have the guts and even if i had no woman whats to […]
how do I figure out, what my purpose is? i just need a sign. just to let me no why I was put here. cause at this point, I don’t even think there is a reason I was put here. just a mistake my parents made. how come over heard so many people say they’ve received signs, and they’re life has changed for the better now? Or that just wonke up one day, and they didn’t want to die anymore. well why can’t that happen to me? I know I have to be “patient”, but I feel like I’ve been patient a little too long, […]
Are there any other ways to escape? Escape reality, and forget all this bullshit? I usually just sleep, but that’s not 100% enough, cause I wake up then can’t go back to sleep. I used to just watch videos but my phone is to slow, and if I keep going on my phone this much I’ll become legally blind. What other ways do you escape reality and forget about everything? I’m just trying to run away from my feelings. That’s all I can do at this point.
I’m perpetually depressed, I have no one, no friends, no one to love me or care about me. I wish I could just end my life, but I can’t even do that.
I don’t see how “things will get better” when it hasn’t for three decades.
I have suffered all of my life. My childhood was filled with abuse, my 20s and 30s has been wrought with illness and injuries, ones that affect me every day of my life and will never get better. I am in constant pain. I’m not in my 40s yet but my miserable existence begs the question: What is the point of living?
I really don’t see the point of living anymore, I have a box inside my closet full of unfulfilled suicide letters…I was just to coward to go along with them, I really hate myself for letting my life continue like this it should of stopped a long time ago I give other people advice about how they should continue there life and how they just need to keep there up just a little more, But meanwhile I’m thinking of a way to die. My bestfriend thinks she knows what I’m going through, She doesn’t know the half of it nobody knows but me. I just […]
Right now all I want is to be held, and told that I’m ok. I’m not ok. It doesn’t feel like I ever will be. Maybe at some distant point down the road, I’ll find that I’ve somehow become worthy of love, and worthy of life. But right now I am alone. I see no way through. Why go on, when you don’t really believe the destination exists? Because the hope of it is all you have left.
if you saw my last picture and you see this you will notice a huge difference . This is what depression will do. I don’t do my hair anymore or take care of my self . Because I honestly just don’t have the energy. I’m not even the quite bit happy in this. That is a fake smile . You might not be able to see my skin and how drained it looks . The circles under my eyes .
When my friend showed me this I […]
the emptiness coming back in and consuming me. I feel so alone, the holidays are coming up and my birthday is coming up. But honestly I have no one to celebrate with so what’s the point. On thanksgiving I will be home alone, no family, no food, even if I tried to plan something it would end up a mess. My birthday well forget that I’ll be lucky if anyone remembers or shows up. Christmas will be empty and I’ll bring in the new year alone what a wonderful thing. I’m so heart broken, sad and empty and it hurts to be alive right now. […]
Just a rant. Sorry it’s so long. Read it if you want.
I think it’s time for me to go. I cant take this. Everything I do. Every single thing I do. Is wrong. I’m really tired. I really.feel like I don’t belong anywhere. And that feeling is trapping. And I hate feeling trapped. I can’t trust anyone. I’m always afraid of what everyone thinks of me. I’m tired of being judged. I always feel like I’m being.judged. it’s time for me to go. This whole “staying positive ” bullshit just isn’t for me. I’m feeling sick. Like I want to break down. […]
a person. i used to be someone i liked and admired.not anymore. i m empty, i m a shell, i m a body on autopilot, i m a shadow of an old me. that kills me…i cannot go on without myself.there s no point to the misery, the agony,the pain, the craving for myself.i ve lost all that mattered.my dream consumed me and sometimes there s no other poison like a dream,and that poison killed me. also..there s no other drug to a person than another person…fact!
don t cry because i m gone, smile because i was here.
I’m struggling to find a reason to stay. What is the point of my life?
Hello my loves! So the point of these mini stories I will be writing is I want you all to be able to escape into a tiny pice of beauty that I will be writing. I also hope to inspire each of you to find your own piece of beauty throughout your day 🙂
The sunlight pours through her bedroom window, its tendrils of warmth caressing her pale face. She can feel the heat wrap itself around her lips, nose, ears… that little smile perches on her lips. She gently stretches out across her bed, her tired joints crackling in protest. Slowly sitting up, she takes […]
I don’t know what the hell I’m doing anymore. Almost feels like I am just wasting life away. I have no idea what I want to do in life. I thought I had it figured out in high school, but when I realized I wasn’t able to afford university, I felt depressed. The reason I got good grades in school was to get into university; now I had to settle with community college. And if I was going to community college, what was the point of getting good grades? What’s the point of straight A’s if you go to community college? They don’t care. When […]
She stands alone in a world that is not always fair. Her soft, blue eyes look out at the world with an innocence akin to that of a child. She is not a child, however, she just isn’t as jaded as myself. “Why can’t you accept me for me? I’m not her, and I never will be. Don’t you see that I’m trying my best to make you proud, and maybe I could succeed if only you would let me.” The constant comparisons, loss of individuality, having to live up to an impossible title. Maybe that is where the compassion comes from. From the place […]