Im not good at it. Just strumming and listening to the cords I strike coming through my orange amp. Thats it, im rockin a sad face and glum attitude. I wanted ask Sunflower for a woman’s perspective.. But I got caught up in my guitar, my humbug, and nothingness. Like.. Where did my good slightly scratching the surface attitude go?. Â It went right into my thoughts
The curtain rises and the group enters the second area; the graveyard…
Nicole: It’s spooky, you can see graves with our names on it, too. The full moon is pretty, though.
HDS: It’s so cold, though. I can even see my breath!
Rocketman: The last one was a circus-themed maze so what is this one?
Zetsumei picks up a light gun shaped like a revolver and a katana then says, “This looks like a shooting area. Everyone pick your weapons.”
The others pick various bladed weapons and firearms. Although, Rocketman picks up a light gun shaped like a rocket launcher…
Zetsumei: Really?
Rocketman: What? It looks cool. Besides, you’re one to talk […]
I wish people cared more for others instead of just worrying about themselves .
I wish I could meet someone who doesn’t see me as a sexual item (including men and women , they’re both just as bad). I feel like whenever I go, people just see me as this dumb girl who will give her self up to someone so easily .
Fuck, I just wish someone was infatuated with my mind instead of my body. I want to have deep conversations with people. I want to talk about things people are passionate for. I don’t mind someone thinking I’m beautiful , but I don’t want […]
I desperately want someone to be there for me. 24*7. And id do the same obviously, be there for them.
Someone who can understand me and i can understand them.
Someone wholl call me or text me just to say they miss me.
And then i found her. She was the one, still is, i am 17, so i know how stupid it sounds from a teenager.
But i think ill regret not telling her forever.
She has a boyf and i have the physique of a pig.
Shes not very pretty or very intelligent, but shes the one for me.
But unfortunately for me, […]
I absolutely hate the whole “suicide is selfish” bullshit. I really feel that people are selfish for making me stay alive & suffer. Sure, they’re not forcing me to stay alive, but I’ve been given the guilt trip & all of that stuff. Pretty much everyone in my life knows that I want to die. Family, friends, doctors, etc. I’m rather open about it. I’ve made all sorts of promises, but I really don’t know how much more I can take. I’ve had various plans. Some halfhearted attempts. Most of my plans now are pretty full proof, but complicated. I just stumbled across a new […]
I was thinking about hobbies and stuff recently. My therapist told me they’re pretty important in regards to recovery. So I was wondering, what are y’all’s hobbies? Any weird ones, or any newfound ones?
I hate feeling this way
I hate walking alone
I hate being the only one who suffers
I hate laughing to prove how strong i am
I hate being on meds cause of all the trauma
I hate myself above all else..for being a failure..a mistake
I hate myself for not being pretty..i hate myself for being dumb and unlovable
Apparently I was already a member here, but I don’t remember joining. But I’m glad I re-found this site. I need a non-judgemental place to talk. I’ll try to keep it short. 😛
I’ve been severely depressed and suicidal for over 19 years now. I’ve had some periods of “ok-ness”, but nothing too exciting. Pretty much tried all the meds/med combos/ketamine infusion/ECT/different therapies/hospitalizations/residentials/etc. Had some random, minor attempts. And here I am today, still depressed as hell & just wanting to end it all.
My nephew killed himself almost 2 years ago. It was extremely heartbreaking and I’m still not even close to being over it. If […]
That day was one of the best days I’ve had . That’s my step sister on the right . This pictures was taken in 2014. We went out on my granny’s boat in June and it was so sunny and warm and we watch the sunset and ate on the beach. I was so content and full that day . I spent time with my family and it was fun. Most days aren’t like that . That day was great . I had no worries in […]
I have Aspergers syndrome.
I am a girl. Its not that visible. I am supposed to be very high functioning. The more I realize my struggles and my differences in contrast to other people.
I am pretty much down.
I just cant navigate through relationships. I cant let go of people. I still love somebody whom I loved five years ago, who moved, who I dont see anymore…etc. I make people mad. I make fuss of things that arent important. For normal people. I have just ruined another relationship of mine, because I was too pushy, too needy. I just dont seem to do anything right. Even weird […]
I know Salt posted a little while ago, and it seemed he was on his way over to the other side. I’m just curious, has anyone who speaks to him more often than I (which is pretty much never), heard anything? I’ve always gained inspiration from him, through my different alias here, and the world have lost a brilliant soul. He was a great man, and if he did finish the journey, I hope he is finally at peace. Thanks guys.
A happy ending is not in the cards for me…
I will never be the pretty one
I will never have the great body
I will never make enough money
I will never be loved
I will never be good enough
I see everyone around happy. I have given up all hope that a happy ending is ever in the cards for me. So I am just going to go through the daily motions and not worry about it. I’m just not good enough.
I play piano, but I don’t always have one around, so I like listening to these whenever that is the case. They make me happy sometimes so idk maybe someone else can find happiness in this music as well.
A few weeks ago, I was starting to get hope that I wouldn’t kill myself, that my future is still bright. Then suddenly, it all disappeared due to the pressure I get in trying to keep up in school. My suicide date is a few weeks away and I want to stop myself from killing myself, but the rest of myself is pretty convinced that I should end my life soon. I’m starting to avoid homework and other things altogether because one, I’m tired of school and that it drains the life out of me. I mean, who wouldn’t be tired when you wake up […]
It’s funny looking at my older posts. Such illusion yet such passion. I can now pretty clearly see the illusions I was in. Of course at that time I couldn’t see them, but that’s how life has always been with me – a game of hide-n-seek where the thing you’re looking for is right inside you. What amazes me is the passion with which I was seeking. Â I no longer suffer from the things I was so terribly suffering from then. But that passion is also gone.
This letting go thing is pretty heavy with me these days. I am recalling that conversation from Matrix when […]
A couple of months ago I was so sure that I wanted life to end.
I’m not trying to discredit anyone who feels that way right now, your feelings are 100% valid. But for me, it got better, and in a forum of people on the verge of giving up, I’d like to share what happened to me when I didn’t give up, while its still fresh.
My husband of two years has been cheating on me since we were engaged, though I didn’t find this out until a month after the wedding. I begged, pleaded, cut, cried, drank, none of it helped. It’s as though faithfulness […]
So my “friend” that I was talking to about my depression misread a text I sent her. Somehow she came to the conclusion that I want to kill my boyfriend. I don’t know how anything I’ve told her could be turned into that. But she called the police and they showed up at my house last night. They asked if I was suicidal and if I was planning on killing my ex-boyfriend and myself. I said no, and they clearly thought that the whole situation was stupid so they joked a little and left. Then my “friend” comes to my door, with her cousin. I […]
It’s hard feeling so alone sometimes. The nights are cold and long. My body is pretty tired and my mind is worn down from all the overthinking both positively and negatively.
I constantly feel like I’m losing everyone important to me. I have a lot of friends, it’s true, but I long for companionship. I need somebody to console me. I have lost a lot but I’ve thrown away more. I realise that.
It’s hard wanting love but not accepting it. The one thing I want most, is the one thing that I’m terrified of
Feeling unwanted is the sole reason I hurt inside. Yet letting someone in […]
Damn. This night my mom and dad and the rest of my family got together to watch this video about this guy who grew up in poverty and now he’s a doctor or something. My moms like all “you guys are so smart and have so much potential. Your sister in college is working so hard studying and u guys need to work hard to”. She doesn’t get it. I’m an unbalanced human. You know those character in the games that you have to distribute the points to different characteristic for there intelligence, strength, etc. I’m so unbalanced. I’m pretty smart and pretty athletic, but […]
i was all excited to at least try to die. didn’t think I’d succeed but hopefully I’d get a better sense on how to do it. But the new washer is being delivered and my dad decided to stay home for it. I’m pretty pissed.