So, it seems he has some skinny tiny girl interested in him. She’s of course not pretty. Way too gaunt and malnourished looking, but that’s what he likes. Anorexic and underweight. She looks young and she has two babies exactly 9 months apart and I guess no baby daddies in the picture. WHY must every man want these sluts just because they’re anorexic??? I’ve accepted that I was born to be alone and never have love in my life, but it still hurts to see my dream guy getting close to someone.
I can’t f***ing believe it. The way I planned isn’t gonna work. I know I can’t talk about methods but suffice to say something went wrong that I did not realize could be an issue. Unfortunately I did not realize this until I already started trying. I’ll be fine, just in a small amount of pain for the next few days. I’ve done some pretty embarrassing things in my life but this is really up there, I can’t believe I couldn’t even managed to get this to work properly. I am feeling a strange mix of insane amusement (I was literally cracking up) and a […]
Since last night my internet connection died unexpectedly, I had to wait until I could get out of the house and go somewhere with WiFi.
While I was offline, I decided to use the time by writing some more music.
It’s a piece I started last week, during my extra dark bad days. Some things happened that triggered a pretty nasty pit of depression. It was bad and ugly and nasty, and I’m sorry for those of you that got to see that side of me.
Now I’m back to just my usual moderate day-to-day depression.
(Yay, I guess.)
But enough about that… the music!!
It’s a […]
I wish things could have turned out different. That’s been something I’ve been saying a lot. It’s just that…recently I’ve been pretty emotionally numb. I feel as though I don’t have a heart. Not in a ‘vain teenager hate the whole world’ kinda way, I just can’t seem to empathize the way everyone else seems to. I feel unintentionally cruel. To make matters worse, my nightmares started coming back.
I don’t know if I want to make another attempt yet, or keep waiting.
It’s been a while since I posted here, but I just wanted to let you know how I’ve been doing.
You may remember a post that I put up in October called ‘About a Girl’?
Well, it turns out that this girl I’ve liked since September likes me back, and it’s one of the best feelings ever.
We’ve been on a date, and we have another one planned for this weekend. So yeah, I’m pretty happy about it.
It’s just nice to know that someone sees me as a nice person, especially when I can’t see it myself, and it’s been really nice […]
So I was asked to paint some Disney Princesses on a ceiling tile for a children’s hospital. It’s been 4 hours and I’m no where near finished but I’m happy to have this opportunity and something to keep me busy for a day or two. It has Princesses Ariel, Tiana, Jasmine and Mulan on it and it says (or will say) “Once upon a time, there was a princess and she lived in N.R.H” N.R.H. stands for National Rehabilitation Hospital. I think it’s […]
Idk what it is but I’m depressed again like I was last year, only this time I think it’s worse. I do pretty well all other months but right after that second week of february hits so do the feelings. I feel such sadness, disappointment, loneliness, and confusion and it literally sucks the life from me.
Not a single person knows this about me but I need sex to keep me sane otherwise my whole world crumbles. I’m not an addict I don’t have sex with anyone nor do I necessarily do it all the time. I’ve only been with 2 people one I was dating […]
Thought id post something positive. Well idk of it’s quite positive its pretty melancholic. That said it is a beautiful song.
Great song from an awesome band.
Also a clue. To/for what? Who knows. Wayne Static was a pretty awesome fellow….
Well I’m going to go a different road today and say that I have a pretty positive outlook on life at the moment.
Today was a actually a pretty good day and I’m thankful for it cause they’re rare anymore.
Had a good aa meeting, had a meeting downtown for community service hours and I didn’t buy any drugs even tho I kinda had a plan to mabey look for something to take the edge off. Even took the money out, just didn’t ask anyone so that felt pretty good too.
Getting out of the house too was actually good I didn’t want to leave my room today […]
Hi folks… I am still pretty new here and really enjoying getting to know all of you! I have a hard time sharing all the hard things in life or dealing with them. I tend to make life one big diversion. I get relief from watching sports. love almost all of them. I also like watching British comedy on YouTube, like fresh meat or peep show. what are some things you folks enjoy as diversions?
I just can’t find any reason to live anymore. I try to be grateful for what I have because I know thousands or even millions of people have it way worse than me, but I can’t realize what I have right in front of me. I’m on the verge of failing all of my classes and I’m slowly giving up on school as well as my life. I always think about how my life will be in the future if I don’t get my shit together now, like get my grades up and whatnot. However, I also think about how I could just end it […]
I recently gathered myself together working on a better me but things have been making a comeback pretty bad I think this life just isn’t made for me I don’t think I can take the pressure or pain anymore
Just tried some impromptu exposure therapy. I have pretty severe anxiety. I cant remember the last time i did something as simple as shop at multiple places without having full out or precursor panic attack. Im pretty happy so far today I went to multiple places without being anxious. Gotta take the simple small victories when you get them.
7 cups of tea is a new website I recently stumbled upon. It’s been somewhat therapeutic for me….Only critique I’ve got is there a bit to positive….there are a few too many shiny happy people on there but they’re pretty easy to dodge.
I’m in a fairly blissful mood atm. Its probably the chicken wings. The game is about to start. Im semi rooting for Carolina because im in South Carolina. I honestly could care less though. I just hope the Comercials aren’t annoying. I’m in a pretty zen mood. I usually post when im suicidal. I figured I’d post when I’m not. Ive been through to much not to enjoy the peaceful moments.
My entire life I have suffered with depression. Iv never not known to be depressed. Both of my parents are hard-core alchoholics. They have been my entire life. I never had many friends growing up. I was a very ugly teenager. I had a big nose and severe acne. Now Im left with severe acne scars. I am a hideous human being. I look like a dam ogre. On top of that, I also have a chronic debalitiating disease. That has no cure. It leaves me in chronic pain. There is literally no hope for me. I give up. Im just scared to actually do […]
does anyone else get the feeling when your walking everyone is judging you? that they are looking at you with eyes filled with sympathy. that you’ll never be good enough for them. or pretty enough? they feel sorry for your ass because they know that you’ll never be enough for anyone. and when you feel happy for a couple days and someone has to be a complete ***** and ruin it. yeah? because same.