yeah thanks mom and dad for screwing my dream of being a model. yeah i knew it was unlikely anyway but u criticize me for taking pictures of myself thinking im doing all of it for attention FUCK NO! yes i know i may be beautiful but im no size 4 u still have no right to flat out say “honey, your just not skinny enough they will destroy u put u on a diet to lose weight i dont want u to become obsessed with size look at me dear im fat and can careless u should do the same” u have gotta […]
Tag:
Rant
The start of my first “rant”,
Hm I’m not to good at typing things up about my problems but I’m even worse at trying to talk about them, so here this goes!
First off I just wanted to say please do not judge me or think of me as a horrible person for these disgusting facts I will probably type out,
Appreciated.
Well, for most of my life it’s been pretty hard on my family (mum & dad) especially after my sister was born it just got harder, it’s seemed like they have always struggled with money really bad.
My dad used to work away up […]
Ok my teacher went on a rant on how suicide is for selfish cowards. And I don’t understand how she can say this, yes its a bit selfish but I think its more selfish to make someone live when they have so much happens to them and they have been strong for so long don’t they understand there is only so far you can bend before you snap? Also how can they say its for cowards they have never had to pick up the blade, tie the knot, gag on the pills. They don’t know how much courage it takes to end your life to have the […]
i feel like only my body is here. because i am completely empty all the time. all i do is sit in my house, with a self expression of just nothing it doesnt look as if i am in the room. i wont sleep properly because i can’t, i can’t eat, i stopped taking my medication because i just can’t take it it doesn’t make me feel better. i’m going crazy at almost everything, all my friends have gone, i can’t even stick a person being in a room with me for half hour, i’m always completely alone and i’d rather just not be here. […]
Done. Nothing to live for. Not going to bother being alive anymore. I realize I have no other person in my life who cares about me. I had another awful day today, and I just realized that not a single person cares to comfort me. I ran through the list in my head. My mom is self-absorbed, and suffers from crippling emotional problems, so she is never someone I confide in because she does understand how to properly deal with other peoples’ emotions. My immediate family are rich businessmen and women, who believe that pain is for the weak. My few close friends all use […]
I remember the first time I actually thought about suicide. I was doing the dishes, and I broke a coffee pot. The only damn coffee pot. I was so sick of everything, of doing every fucking thing wrong, I just started screaming. And then that’s when I heard my mother’s voice. She said, “The knife’s in the drawer. Cut off your singer and you’ll be dead in five minutes. I walked over to the drawer, pulled out the knife, and pressed it to my finger, then my wrist. Hard. Until I winced and pulled it back. I spent the rest of the day sobbing under […]
I feel like I am on the edge.
Like I can’t turn back.
Have come so far.
I feel that I am trapped.
I’m scared and alone.
I don’t think I can turn back.
I’m scared to live.
And I’m scared to die.
I feel like such a coward.
Why can’t I just disappear.
I’m just a fuck up.
Why do you even try.
I gave up.
So why do you look at me that way.
With those loving and forgiving eyes.
It would be easier for me if you just hated me.
Like I hate myself.
Why do I try.
It’s not like […]
I met this girl. She is absolutely amazing. But that’s not the point. The point is I realised I was selfish. I realised that suicide wasn’t an option. What I mean is this girl I adored I found out she had cancer. All I could think about was how unfair life was. I cried a couple days just thinking about her. I felt helpless. After finding out how se had no control over her life it made me mad. All I can think about was how could people take life like its nothing. When my friends death was already determined. How could they throw there […]
First, I was going to start off with a response to Laura22:
I found this excerpt online:Â Â Obsession is when you cannot function as a person on a daily basis without thinking about an object of affection. Love is mutually supportive, caring, and giving.
I wanted to explain. Â I have always been in love with her, but the obsessiveness didn’t kick in until some time later. Â About a year after I believe. Â And I still believe that it’s love even now. Â It’s just that the obsessiveness is present as well. Â I don’t enjoy admitting that I am obsessive. Â It hurts coming from other people, even if it is […]
Currently on the phone with my boyfriend about to kill myself…we just got into a big arguement. After breaking up numerous times in the past couple months, we decided that since we’re dating now, we’d keep it secret. In order to keep guys from hitting on me, i put on facebook that im in a relationship..he never put that he was in a relationship on his facebook though. So i decided to take it down after a day because i felt like people thought iw as lying about having a boyfriend. He got upset really fast and started being rude. The rudeness eventually led to […]
I don’t come onto this website to plead for your guys’ sympathy. Just want to get that out there.
I reach out to this website because I have absolutely no-one to tell in real life. I don’t enjoy harsh words towards me when it is about my problems, how I feel, or how “stupid” my situation sounds. But I do choose to post them instead of just erasing them because I love to hear your input, and perhaps even gain a friend or two from it.
Anyhow~ Â I just want to go on the longest rant of my life. And share some stuff. I’ve been depressed […]
I guess I thought going back to school was going to make me feel better. I thought it’d make my depression and anxiety go away and I’d be instantly better..but it didn’t. I’m still depressed and miserable, I still feel useless. I just want to be gone. The things that made me happy don’t even make me happy anymore. They’re just nice distractions, because when I really think about it, I’m not happy. I literally have no one. I just feel like a burden to my family. I know, there’s people on here that’s problems are far more worse than my own, and even now […]
I have no clue what I’m doing or how i found this webpage… I just attempted suicide today and I didn’t even realize it… I’m just gunna vent and rant about my life story now…Keep scrolling if you don’t care…which you probably don’t…
Ok…so I’ve been cutting myself for two years. On December 8th, 2011 I cut myself at school and got caught (I know I’m stupid for doing that but I really had to…) And in 2 hours…I was ripped away from everything I knew and put in a mental institute 2 hours away from where I live. I attempted suicide while I was there. […]
No idea what to put as the title, so oh well.
I’m not 100% sure why I’m posting stuff up here, but sometimes, when you know you can’t go into it with anyone else, it just becomes a “What the heck, why not?” moment.
Now, just for a summary of things, I’m 23. I’m not prone to depression as a relative mental issue, nor am I prone to actual suicidal considerations or tendencies. The last time I even had a properly suicidal thought was in my mid teens, during a period in my life when everything was going completely in the dumper, after a half decade of […]
i attempted offing myself about a 2 weeks ago….ive just been to damn ashamed to say anything….what is this….attempt 12…..13maybe?? i think ive gotten to the point where im just used to the failure. The pills only made me spaz thru the night. i kinda get a kick out of how cruel God is. it surprises me tht i can still have a relationship with God, no matter how one sided it is…..i begg and pray, and he just looks on. i swear my pain and eternal torment is his entertainment! Atleast Death holds me in the night. tho its not time for me to […]
This is going to be more of a rant really. Knowing me, a long(-ish?) post. My apologies (If anyone even goes on to read this) for probably many clichés and awful English. Apparently I’m a fairly good writer. Pah, I wonder who’d still think that after reading my journals? No, I think that people on here and around me are just kinder than I deserve. My friends deserve so much more than me (I’m sorry…).
But yeah, ‘what a surprise’. Choose to die. Fail. Find more reliable ways to die. Fail. Set a date: 101252. Ooh, what a shocker – fail. What’s my freaking problem this time? […]
WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE?!!!
i took a total of 18 painkillers, 7 ALIVE, 5 midol, and like 10 other types of pills and im still here! i didnt even have to go to the damn hospital!!
everytime i fail it just makes me hate myself even more. it makes me cut deeper and longer, and not even tht works!
why does my dear lover Death elude me?! why does he not want me to join him in a world we can spend forever in? i would be doing the world a huge frippin favor if i left!….whats keeping me here….and why?
First, let me say that I don’t need, want, or give a damn about anything involving religion, hotlines, or life in general. PLEASE just go away if you have nothing better to do than “help” me.
The following is nothing but a rant. Skip to “/rant” if you value your time at all.
I am probably not the most miserable person in the world. I’ve never met the degree of physical torture that many people endure, but does that make me any less entitled to a choice? My life was completely average for the first ten years of my life. I was a kid, I had friends, […]
It’s frustrating how often, when i’m trying to think, there is literally nothing in my head. I’ve never really been smart, and i get that. I just wish there was something there i could rely on. And it’s… Well, it’s not fair. When i was a kid, i read and i read, and everyone though that must mean something. I thought it meant something. But… I read the wrong things. I read fairy tales, i read fantasy, i read short imaginative stories about… Well, what? I can’t remember most of it now. I thought i had a choice: to be smart, or to be pretty. […]
Okay, so I know everybody has bad days and we’re supposed to persevere and all that jazz, but I honestly don’t feel like putting any effort into living anymore. Everyone around is fake and shallow; every time I try to talk to my “friends” about something that isn’t happy they just end up ignoring me and trying to change the subject. They also talk about people who cut themselves (which I have done for years), saying they should just get it over with already. they have no fucking idea how tempted I am…
Unfortunately, all my attempts have been stopped by people who “care” (which […]