I consider myself fairly reasonable, but lately I’ve been contemplating suicide more and more. I am a twenty-three year old man living at his mom’s house. My mom suffers serious emotional problems after my dad died in 2001. She is a good parent, and I am well taken care of at home. Our family even has a fair amount of money. Things could be worse; however, her emotional problems have become aggravated since I graduated college and returned home in December. Even though my full-time job keeps me out of the house for a majority of the day, my mere presence triggers obsessive behavior in […]
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Reason
Women seem not to like me. Middle school all the way to now they have tormented me. They make fun of the way I walk, the way I look and the way I socialize with others. Now I have been raised around women. My mom and 2 of my 3 sisters were in my life and from them I have learned alot. I respect women and I open doors for all of them. I ask them how they are doing and how they are feeling. No matter how nice I am I never get anything but tormenting in return. There is a girl that makes me […]
another reason i want to die is because my family hates me every time something goes wrong they blame it on me and punish me and if they find out its my brother or my sister they don’t say sorry to me and they don’t punish my brother or sister . i feel like im not wanted all the time.and my dad thinks im just a problem and constantly reminds me that he hates me and doesn’t want me.and the only one that likes me is my sister and she just got married so shes not going to be there fore me.well if what my whole family wants is me to be gone […]
It’s almost been a year now. A year since I pushed the only person out of my life who made life worth living. Since then I’ve become an alcoholic, abandoned my personal morals regarding premarital sex, am stuck in a relationship that I don’t know how to get out of, and have become even more depressed then I thought I could be.
Meanwhile my closest companion has gone off to better herself spiritually and with an education, and is apparently now in a relationship. Hopefully the person she is with now doesn’t hurt her as badly as I did.
I don’t know if I have […]
I was just wondering, about certain people who hurts us so much, never appreciated us, took revenge on us for some reason, never bothered helping us when we’re in need of something, but we never failed helping them for anything, and so on.. would just get all the best things in the world. In fact, i personally felt like I am a loser because I have always been good to everyone, but people who never been good to me are in a good position in life, but I’m not. I heard somewhere saying that we need to do good deeds to become a good person. […]
Why is that people ask you not to compare your life with others at times and then take a complete U-Turn and ask to look at others life at other times? World always tries to find a way to influence your life, your decisions, they always want you to live your life as it best suits them. The reason for my decision is not my hatred of this world, or hatred for life – on the contrary its quite opposite – I love this world, I love life. But unfortunately, I don’t enjoy it anymore, I live everyday as its a burden – with a […]
For so many years of my life, I’ve endured the constant feeling of sadness and feeling alone. Every day, progressively worse than the last. Then the day came where I met someone who gave me a breathe of fresh air in my life, and gave me a purpose and reason to live. How great it was to love something more than yourself. She lives 10 hours away, I sold everything I own in this world to go see her, I leave tomorrow.
But why is it I’m so close, but I feel so scared? I feel as though I’ve already lost her, and I haven’t even […]
it will always be the person you least expect,nomatter how many times you dye your hair, or change your appearence,your still you and your nothing special, not like everyone els,life is overrated,so whats so special about making the best outa having nothing, having noone,being used consinly, every time you stick your face out the front door, you fail to make it any futher,everytime you stick your face out the front door, someone says there your freind, but they aint,they either use you, or call you once and find you worthless enough to never answer or call you again,the only person that has ever made me […]
To the youth and adults who have decided to live, at least for today…
The person who makes your soul shiver.
The song that makes your ears quiver.
The food that makes your tongue dance.
The activity that lulls your mind into a trance.
The relative whose love warms your heart the most.
The pets about whom you brag and boast.
The responsibilities you prefer not to leave behind.
Their threads that your hands only can safely unwind.
The boulders you have yet to turn.
The bridges you prefer not to burn.
The safety and rhythm of scheduled routine.
The things you have not yet done or seen.
If you have one reason to stay, it may be […]
I’m depressed, I feel lonely and worthless and a lot of other negative things I feel about myself. I’ve self-harmed, had suicidal thoughts and tried to overdose myself. I don’t have any friends, I miss school a lot because it stresses me out for absolutely no reason. I sleep a lot, over 10 hours everyday. I can barely manage to eat anything and I can get angry for little or no reason. I’ve kept suffering and I couldn’t do anything about it.
But now, instead of what I would do. You know what I do? I lock myself in the bathroom with my cellphone and earphones, […]
I guess what I’m trying to say is although I’m miserable, depressed, suicidal, I don’t want to feel different. I’ve felt like this for so long that I can’t see a way out, and if it did miraculously appear I doubt I would take it anyway. I feel safe, just me, alone no one can cause me pain I have been through. Only I can upset myself or make myself feel better. I am all I need, and so why not die? Is it selfish of me even if I did want to stay, to be a burden to my friends and family?
The reason making […]
Do you know what REALLY seems to get people down? The whole world. We’re always told so much s*** about what a great place this is, and how ‘lucky’ we are to be alive, and how we’re just not grateful for what we have. This may be true, but do they realise exactlu what’s happening in the world? It’s a horrible, cruel, unforgiving bad place where a few good things happen? And what’s worse in noone seems to understand what you mean…I personally get incredibly upset when i hear an earthquake has destroyed, ruined a civilisation and killed so many people; I feel so […]
I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.” Â That’s what I feel like.
I have no hope. Â None. Â I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person. Â Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting. Â It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends. Â Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark. Â I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]
I don’t like the person I am anymore. I’m okay on some levels, but in close relationships I become a cold *****. I don’t know how to fix it, therapy hasn’t helped much with the issue. I’m stressed in general, but I guess I just get unhappy.
My boyfriend and I just broke up for the millionth time, what a huge surprise. I’d like to say that this was more his fault than mine but it’s probably pretty even. I’m a really difficult person to be in a relationship with. I’m not sure what to do about it. Truth be told, I feel weary all of […]
I just wanna know if this is the right thing to do?
I haven’t been to school for the last three days, I told my mum it was because I felt ill. I deliberatly made myself ill so that I wouldn’t have to go. The reason is, I get bullied really badly at school all because of this boy who found out that I self harmed and that I’m suicidal. He spread it round the school and now everyone knows, I’m too scared to talk to anyone and I’m too scared to go to school. Also I have so much homework that I haven’t done because […]
Here lately I think about  It every day!! I’m just soo tired of everything! I’m tired of  living, tired of  hurting, tired of crying all the time, I just want to die! No on knows how I feel, not even my husband. You know I can even remember wanting to die and praying to die every night when I was 6, 11, 14, so on and so forth. That is the main thing I  remember about growing up. Although the reason’s have only piled up since then. I feel like everyone around me would be better of and happier if  I just died. Sometimes I […]
So I have s terrible family, no friends, I’ve totally ruined the best relationship I’ve ever had. I don’t see much reason in moving on any more, I’ve been stuck in this rut for my entire life… I’ve wanted to die for so long, and I’ve only ever once attempted suicide when I was 11 (17 now). So yeah, I have no hope and no faith in this life. The only thing that’s been really holding me back from killing myself is that I don’t want people to feel bad over my death (stupid right?), but the agony of living it is worth them feeling […]
I lack the ability to be persistent,so it’s the end of the line.
by jackraiden
written by jackraiden
Up till now, i have always tried to change my life.
I have tried to be consistent, in everything but failed..in everything.
Everything i try from losing weight to even brushing my teeth ends up not being done, and im sick of it, im sick of it all, life is a god damn chore that i don’t want to join, its sucks,i have no one else that understands me, no one, all i have are idiots around me, my family and friends will never understand me and how painful it is thinking this way, getting up to wash your face feels like climbing a mountain.
I will never […]
Ok so this is it. I’m 18 now. I’ve been suicial for 6 years now. I want to hang myself. I feel obligated to wait though, but there’s nothing to wait on. I tried to hang myself twice last night, but I have no foolproof plan because of my weight. I had to use my door knob and sit down. I looked like an idiot who’d played the choking game alone. The only reason I got out of it was because I didn’t feel right not saying goodbye to anyone, but I just couldn’t find words to express my pain or my desire for death. […]
I’ve lost someone to suicide. It’s the most enraging experience I’ve been through. There is always that little part of you that can never grieve or get over it, because they chose to end their life. It’s one of the most selfish acts I’ve ever know.
So then, how did I end up thinking about it? First objectively – I don’t want to die, don’t be stupid. I can just understand why some people feel it’s their only way out.
Then, less objectively – I still don’t want to die, per se. I just want to be someone else. I have no idea how I managed to […]