There is no reason for me to be here. No purpose to my life. I am good at litterally nothing other than writing, singing, and dreaming of a life I’m not good enough at anything to have. All I can expect from life is a waitressing job, maybe a sub teacher. That’s all. I’m 14, and I know I’m worth as much now as I’ll ever be. So why not just quit while I’m ahead?
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Reason
I’m 27. On the outside I appear to be a relatively well-adjusted, responsible, single Midwestern gal. On the inside, I’m screaming. Waiting for my life to end. I’ve been depressed/suicidal off and on since I was 15. One relatively severe cycle almost got me kicked out of college. I had to go to therapy, which was no help at all. I quickly grew bored of it and to expedite my exit from that requirement, I told the therapist what she wanted to hear. Fast forward a few years, I had broken things off with my first really serious boyfriend and rebounded to a guy a […]
A few things happened today, one good, one bad.
Starting with the bad, my dad yelled at me for eating today. He yelled at my sisters and I for eating too much today and said that we have to ask before we eat anything anymore. My dad gets really mad sometimes, and when he does he exaggerates punishments. But what he doesn’t understand is how powerful his words are to me. Last year I stopped eating. Starving became my life, calories and exercise were my gods, I worshiped them like no other. I lost 20 pounds, went from weighing 123 to 103 in much less than […]
Hate, depression, constant crying, constant suicidal thoughts, constant self-harm. Who am I? I wish I could remember but the image of who I used to be gets fuzzier, and fuzzier. Had I known I would feel such loneliness in the future, I would have ended my life on that faithful April 27, 2006. I’m surrounded by many who claim to love me, yet in my mind I’m trying to deal with the fact that I’ve been abandoned by everyone. Maybe I have and everyone is just pretending to be nice, all I ever meet are extremely nice people, and I can’t help but love them. I […]
I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items […]
This is my story, just need to share.
I was raped (sodomized, whatever you want to call it) a few times when I was a kid by my uncle, my grandpa knew but didn’t say anything about it. Grew up with that hanging over my head, told a few friends but all they said was, “man, that sucks.” I didn’t really expect them to say much, but nothing would be better than that. It’s the reason I don’t have a gf, I’m afraid that that abuse will carry over. My parents got divorced when I was 7, dad remarried shortly after that to a […]
I’m a writer, not officialy since i’m only sixteen, but i consider my self that way. I’m a writer and that is the only only reason that can explain how i confused all my doctors and counselors.
Writing is the only thing that make feel alive for a while, and it does it because i’m creating a whole new storie, sometimes stories of what i wish it was or the truth with some make up and fantasies. I can tell stories since i have memory, i’m a bad lier with little things but my complete life is my best and bigger lie, so much that sometimes […]
Thing about it: You had to have been given a mind, a thought pattern, personality, a unique body, something that defines you as YOU.
Everything you’ve ever done, I think you were destined for, the good, the mistakes,…
If you really think about it, If you were anyone one else, you would have their mind, you would feel what they feel, maybe you would have their spirit.
If any given person transformed into you, my guess is they would act the exact same, in that body.
My point is: You really have no control over who you are, how you think, so this is a reason why you shouldn’t […]
i used to believe in so many things. i believed in happiness. i believed in happy endings. i believed in miracles. i even believed in destiny. but now i don’t even know what the word ” believe ” means. my parents are divorcing and i’m realizing that no one actually really cared about me. not even a little bit. not even at all. because they don’t know understand how much it hurts to be the messed up one. the mistake. the failure. i’ve got no reason to be watched. i’ve got nothing special. i’m just .. broken. i don’t think it’s even possible to […]
All i want is to feel normal and happy like i used to. I keep telling myself that in a couple of years I’ll just be a name, or a memorial a student passes on the way to their next class. I’ll cease to be an everyday thought and become a memory that manages to crawl its way back into the mind of a loved one every now and then. I’ll be what you strive to avoid. But what I will be can’t be any worse than what I am. I’m just another hopeless girl that can’t seem to get through life in one piece. […]
Do i really want to be here? i dont know. i do but then i dont. i hate my life. i hate myself. i hate everything about me. i feel like noone really likes me. only reason i havent killed myself is because im scared of the pain it will cause physically and mentally. i think about killing myself everyday. i think of why why am i here on this earth. i hurt my self when im upset. i used to cut myself all over my body a years ago but i stopped once my friend and mother started to see the scars. so do […]
Interesting video. Thanks for being honest and clear in this one. I understand what your saying when you say you have lost your power.
I think you believe power tis what ever you held dear, It was the reason you went to work, the reason you brush your teeth, the reason you lived for.
Now what every that power was has been either taken away or you lost it some how. Either way you believe it is gone. And the only person who can tell you what to believe is power is you. We all hold different things in our hearts. It because of that i dont […]
I don’t really know what i expect to happen from doing this. I guess i just needed to find somewhere to let my thoughts be known before they just became to much to stand. I want to die, sometimes i think i know why other times i don’t. I’m not even sure how it started up, i guess at first i kept having dreams and fantasies of me being killed in an accident and it started to slowly get closer and closer to where i am now. I never want to hang out with friends, i can never live up to either my genius brother […]
I chose this to be my username for a reason. I’m out of options. Everyone says I’m not allowed to kill myself or self injure or smoke or drink or do drugs but at the same time they say I don’t need therapy. They say I’m not allowed to die but I can’t stand living another day. I’m living my life for other people, cuz I sure as hell don’t want to be here. If I’m living just so someone can see my face one more time, why bother? I’m dead on the inside. I might as well make the outside match. I’m tiered […]
Hi
The reason im posting this is because i want to get this off my chest.
I’m 15 and have being suicidal for nearly 2 years now. Before the last few months i was’nt serious about suicide but now i am and need to do this.
I’ve lost alot of friends over the last following months basically pushed them away. 11 months ago a girl local commited suicide,it did’nt no her that well but she had tons of friends, she was good looking, i guess she was just depressed like me.I don’t have uch friends, i have a couple who are friends but not close, […]
This POST is intended to shed some light on the feeling of not belonging to this world/being part of it. If you have a mental illness such as bipolar or schizophrenia please take your medication(s).
When I was 16 I tried to commit suicide if I would have succeeded I would not have known the beauty of seeing each one of my girls birth or watching them grow; Not known what it would have felt like to fall in-love nor see how great of a career I would have. I tried to get rid of myself simply because I did not belong.
After the incident I visited […]
Well, I am new to this site. I have been suicidal since I was 12 years old, or that’s the earliest I remember, since at that time I made notecards about me, in preparation. I was planning to write letters to everyone I cared about. Now I am 17 and I am still planning on writing those letters. The reason I haven’t committed suicide yet, is because I didn’t want my mom to hurt. Now, she just got diagnosed with cancer. I am scared and worried of what might happen. Incase anything happens I notified 2 of my friends about what has been going on […]
I worked so hard to get to where I am, despite family background and chronic illness, I somehow made it this far. I have my family and friends mostly to thank for that, along with a will power I thought would never die. My illness already put me on leave half a year and now Im back in my Phd program and it feels like everyone is against me at every turn, including my body. I’m mostly better now except for the nerve pain. I cant believe I couldn’t eat for a whole year. It baffles me that Ive been through this. It’s not easier […]
I Feel so Alone
I dont want to kill myself
i guess i just want to leave this earth without dying
im 15 but to everyone it doesnt seem like i have a problem
i have a ton of friends and really no reason to be sad but i have no reason to be happy either
im smart handsome to some people and nice
my friends see me as the one to go to for advice but i never have advice for my own problems
i have a ton of friends but none of them are really close to where i can tell them my […]
A lot of people I know say that they are there for me. Â That they will listen to what I say and not make their own assumptions. Â But they are never there, and they never listen. Â They make their assumptions, and state their opinions as if they are the facts of the world. Â The counselors ask me questions that I mainly can’t answer, because it would give some secret away. Â And when I do answer, they say I’m lying, give their own answer, and decide that they are right. Â Even thought they don’t know the things they say about me. Â They are supposed to be […]