My dad hung himself on March 18th, 2013. Actually it could have been the 19th no one is exactly sure. It was my spring break and I was at the beach with a few of my friends and my girlfriend. I didn’t find out til that Thursday which I think was the 21st. My phone had been dead for a day or two and I didn’t bother to charge it, I guess I didn’t think anything important was going to happen. I finally charged and turned off my phone and saw that I had received a text from my rabbi and a woman in my […]
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Relationship
So, I have been planning on suicide on the 3rd next month. People are telling me not too but, I literally can’t take the pain anymore. I cut last night and I was clean for more than 3 months! But, anyways here’s my pointless story..
So, Last year. ‘8-3-12’ I kinda thought I was in love.
About a couple months into our relationship it was getting a little depressed.
The guy, Jt, told me he loved me everything and then a couple days later,
He just left me and told me everything was getting taken away from him,
his phone,ps3, home phone, etc.
So, I said […]
Dear Readers.
Wow, that sounds weird for some one as new as me, because i tend to not gain attention, Internet-wise or not, but thats besides the point. I am a 13 year old girl, nothing special, and to be honest, i’m not that serious of a case, compared to other people, But what my problem is that i suffer from my negative emotions, and i do mean it quiet  literally. Let me try to clear this up for you. For example, lets assume that you and i used to be really close, but then our relationship… fails. Like i wasn’t as great as a friend then you […]
I really don’t want to have to do this. I don’t want to cause any devastation. I know that I don’t see why it would hurt anyone–I’m really nothing important. But I also know that death hurts people. It just does. No matter the nature of the relationship. People who you have never spoken to in your life will cry for you. It makes no sense to me at all. Perhaps, it scares them more than it saddens them? Makes them realize that they to are set to expire some day? I don’t know. But I’m just so tired, so exhausted in every way. I […]
I’ve been thinking about dying a lot. For some reason that makes me feel better. Things haven’t been good lately. My life is really pleasant on the surface, I’m doing the things I want to do and have a mostly supportive family. But then I have horrible self-esteem and I just end up in the worst situations and it’s really my own fault.
I am really devastated over this thing that happened recently with my boyfriend. I was away for a few months, volunteering at a school in a really remote place and making a documentary, and while I was gone he cheated on me. I […]
I have hurt so many people lately that I can’t take it. I hurt a girl I fell for because she didn’t realize that admitting your love to someone doesn’t mean your in a relationship. I hurt her when I started dating an amazing girl named Julianna that I realized I love even more. I just don’t know why I hurt people so much on accident. I feel even worse than I have ever felt. I am cutting even more than ever. I just don’t know what to do our how to stop hurting others. I am tired of causing pain which doesn’t just hurt […]
Right now all I can think of is suicide. Â It is drowning me little by little. Â It will wear me down until I can’t take it anymore. Â Then it will win me over for good. Â I don’t want that day to come. Â But I just can’t help looking in the mirror and seeing what a disaster I am. Â I always question why I am still alive. Â My head tells me, ‘Just end this; right here right now you’re not worth shit.’ Â But then my heart says…
Well I don’t know what my heart says anymore. Â There is nothing there. Â Everyday my emotions seem to fade away […]
I was scared .. I am scared. Everyone needs saving, even I do. I need it but I don’t want it. I don’t want the cliched lecture that things will get better or the sympathetic conversation that reveals your place in our relationship that you’re there for me. Â I don’t want empty words to stall my decisions or help me to even consider changing my mind. I think about it all the time. I have set myself to learn to be content with death. I think of where my soul might go .. drifting through the darkness and blackness of empty space that seems to […]
Hey sp. So just a little update I just returned home from my 2 week stay with my dad in Hawaii. It was absolutely beautiful and if anyone is looking for a beautiful and peaceful place to think about life definitely that is a place to visit and get your head together. Unfortunately my experience wasnt too great because of my bad relationship with my dad… He actually grabbed and shoved me after getting in my face and screaming and cussing me out. I thought he was going to actually hurt me but I got out of the house before he could physically harm me […]
So this is my first post and I’m either afraid I will leave out too many details or give too many details. I’m not really sure who will read this but there is no happy ending to this story. Here we go.
To start things off I’ve never been truly happy I suppose. I’ve lived pretty rough at this point. Early on in life I dealt with an abusive sibling who being much older tortured me in ways I dare not say at this point. Things seemed to ease up upon taking up gymnastics which gave me an outlet to do things. However this gave me untold […]
Today I told myself every thing’s okay, and that if I don’t think about the future it will stay that way longer. Why do I give myself false hope. Why am I still trying. I know hope is lost so why am I faking. You know what one of the worst feelings is? The feeling that someone could be dead or someone could die and it’s all your fault. When people say I’m going to kill myself because of you. That’s not okay. I was in a relationship where several times the other person said goodbye and that they were not going to be alive […]
They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person saying he can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then he left. He never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s […]
Hello,
First of, all. i’m not sure if this is a part of the project, but it made me laugh indeed.
” ERROR: Banned by WangGuard Is a mistake?.”
Anyway…
I’ll keep it short 🙂 10 months ago, I have met a very interesting person, over the Internet. Actually, SHE met me (chatted me up on some forum, where I trolled, never wanted to see anyone, but I made one exeption this time). So we chatted. I liked fer. Later, a lot.. Then she said something like “I do not believe you are real, come and meet me” So I did, we did. This went for 4 […]
You know what, this IS your fault! I said it plenty of times, I NEED you and I will DIE without you! You should have listened to me if you wanted me to live! You don’t show people you care about them by ignoring them! Do you feel guilty? You should, after the absolute HELL you’ve been putting me through! You should have NEVER told me you loved me if you never really meant it! I love you a lot! You’re the center of my universe and the light in my life! You are a GODDESS of beauty! When I am with you, everything just […]
So, in two days, I will be graduating highschool, on the surface I’m happy and just as excited as my friends, and I am, don’t get me wrong, this is a huge step in my life but.. at the same time. I don’t know, there’s this little part of me that wants me to feel miserable.
I can’t wait to leave highschool and all the dicks in my school, I’ve seen enough of them to last me a lifetime. but I’m going to miss my friends, I don’t know when I’m going to see them again, cause some of them are moving away, like far away, […]
So I’m seventeen, 17, just graduated from high school. I’ve been struggling with suicidal thoughts for about 4 or 5 years now. I attempted suicide in 2011 after I was hurt by someone who meant the world to me and I regretted everything. I’ve started up counseling since May 10 this year and have started medication but I still have depressed days and days that are hard to get through. I feel like nothing helps. What broke me is I had a nervous breakdown a few days before I started meds and going to counseling and nearly ended it. I have a box filled with […]
I’m going to try and give my story the best way I can. I haven’t been on this Earth for a very long time, and I’ve been plagued by problems (but not as much compared to come of the posts I’ve read on here). I started having suicidal thoughts when I was about 10, and I’ve had them ever since. I started having them because I was being bullied very badly at school. My Mother (who is going to appear many times in this story), also picked on me but not as bad. Fast forward 2 years from then, I started getting homeschooled, and my […]
Every Summer since I was a teenager has been tough for many different reasons.
From being in hospital, to loosing someone to death, to drinking myself awake every morning.
This Summer is full of promise.
This Summer is probably going to be my most memorable Summer yet and maybe ever.
I have no money but so much hope and love that it could fill an entire city.
I’ve one small worry though. This might be the start of the end of me and my bestfriend.
I’ve known this girl Hayley for 13 years of my life and I’m 17 yet.
She is literally my soul mate.
I […]
My boyfriend and I have had a relationship for 9 years. It has had it’s wonderful moments.. but it has had many bad ones too. I get so angry with him for his lack of care and concern. I’ve thrown him out recently and now I feel as though my entire world is gone. I have no desire to even want to wake up! EVER AGAIN! All i have ever wanted was his love. I’ve had people tell me he loves me. I’ve heard hims say it. But I have not felt it in such a very long time. […]
I am a person in my mid 20’s, and I suck. My dad went on a twenty min. rant on how I suck this morning, I’m broke and have no future, the girl I’m obsessed with is with another dude, and most of all I’m an embarrasement freak of a person on a objective level. No one loves me or will, I don’t believe in god (for logical, not emotional reasons). Hell I’ve had a relative that laughed at me for crying because my childhood dog died. No one has ever loved me, not family, not people in a relationship with me, […]