So.Next week I’ll have my final and the most advanced exam. So I know it’ll be little hard. I’m depressed and I can’t remember many things. But I know I will pass with just low grades. But, when can I do what I love to do? I hate this formal advanced education. I’m facing exam that I don’t want to be. I won’t be who I wanna be. I’m forced to do my family wanna see. See you later people. I just do best as I can. Hopeless what to do next..
There is nothing around me
Of interest.
No shapes, no sounds. It’s all
A blur.
The only thing I trust now is
Darkness.
Pain constant in my side, just…
Hurt.
My life feels doomed, forever
Empty.
I need help coming back to
Life.
I forgot what it’s like to feel
Happy.
The pain, it cuts like a
Knife.
Memories have been long gone;
Forgotten.
Why would I try to remember all
My fears?
They still plague me, haunt me
Even then.
I like the dark. Now no one can see
My tears.
Hi this is my first Post, am 37 married mother of 4 kids and I deeply depressed, for so long I can not remember when I wasn’t, situations in my life are some of the reasons which contribute to my feelings, I recently found out my husband of 13years was cheating on me and even when I confronted him he didn’t even apologize just gave me a cold shoulder worse of all he doesn’t take of us well and if you ask him to provide for the kids he always say he doesn’t have money so many a times am left to carry urge burden […]
I was scrolling though my calendar on my iPad, remembering dates. As I scrolled it seemed like life flashed before my eyes. Where did I go wrong? I have a great memory so I looked at all the months of my life (December 1983 till now) and counted the good times and bad.
I heard my first two years of my life was very chaotic. I don’t think I have any memories at all back then. My parents got divorced when I was two.
One of my first memories as a child was in the summer of 1986. My mother (who is a psychopath herself) was fighting […]
This is really hard for me to write, I’ve never spoken of this experience ever since it happened. When I was a little girl, around 5 years of age, something traumatizing happened to me. And it really messed me up. I’m the only girl in my family. I have 2 older brothers and my mother kept trying for a girl, then I came.
My mon was absolutely not ready to raise kids, so I don’t know why she had any of us. She herself didn’t really have a mom growing up, but she had so many years to learn she was never a good mother back […]
Day after day I sit in my room and watch the sunrise from my bed. Night after night I wake up to the sounds of my family getting ready for bed. I’m so afraid. I’m alone in every sense of the word, and it terrifies me. The fact that nobody will remember me after my inevitable death makes me sick. The fact that my family would only show up to my funeral because they have to nauseates me. The fact that I’m the one pushing people away makes me see red. I can’t understand my own emotions and the only thing I can think about is […]
Same shit different day as they say in modern society. People like us just can’t say that anymore. I feel that I would rather the pain than just nothing. I am more a mindless machine than anything. Hour by hour. Day by day. Endless pain and suffering. If there IS light at the end of this tunnel, this is a long ass tunnel. But it seems darker and more inforgiving than 2012, when I thought I could beat this thing. To all who read this, just remember, we are not ill. We are REAL!! We are considered to be wrong for seeing the world in […]
I liked to dream that I would wake inside my self ten years younger
with eyes that would blink hope towards the morning sun
without cinder blocks of fatigue or the fine lines of age
I wished against rationality that my decade of torrent and
grievous joyous decadent nothing and destruction and debt and
discovery and growth
could be whisked away for a swift return
to be hugged again by a shell of ignorance
I don’t even remember shedding.
1. You should not have to rip yourself into pieces in order to keep others whole; don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm
2. Even the smallest violin plays a sweeter sound than the worlds loudest explosion
3. Everything happens for a reason/everything is happening just as it should
4. Friends can break your heart too
5. Believe in yourself. You can achieve anything you set your mind to
6. Only you can decide your worth, not others ***** Don’t compromise yourself in order to impress someone else
7. Never say no to adventure or you’ll lead a very dull life
8. Remember who’s been there for you from the […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l6W_0B1nDvw
Lyrics:
In woeful throes of youthful lust,
I held my breath as you held my hand.
Heart to heart, flesh to flesh,
honesty, emotion long repressed.
Confidence and poise that I could never imitate
as you led me down the stairs to where my hopes had lied in wait.
This is how I choose to remember you,
in the light of some hallway I’d never know again.
“Please stay with me.”
And even though our words were wasted, they had never been more true.
Your gentle wrists, your sacred smile. Each longing breath, I take for you.
Hun… 🙂
Here I am. Finally writing.
It’s been 3 or 4 years.
I don’t remember.
This is the good part. These days I don’t remember anything.
Everytime some feel something inside me. I can’t put this in words.
Emptiness. (Maybe)
As I said I can’t put this into words.
Please don’t pity on me. I am very bad person. I did some awful things in life. Which I regret very much. I feel guit everyday every moment.
Yes I do want to die.
But I can’t.
I have a girlfriend. She is the reason I can’t die.
Mother, sister…. are also the reason.
I have faced alot. I know. I know everything. Then why I am so […]
Growing up in a traditional Asian household, life was very different from what I had read in American novels. With a strict Taiwanese father who graduated from Harvard, was the minister for Sino-America relations, and a Marine for 15 years, expectations were always set high. And my mother on the other hand, looked at me as no more than a show pony that she could steal accomplishments from. From an early age, achievement was measured in medals, and love in trophies. Whether or not I would get beaten depended on how fast my times in the latest swim meets were, how I placed in the latest […]
I’m new to the site and post only when I feel like shit. I’m Tyler, 16 and desperate for someone to talk to. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been extremely shy and have never been able to make friends. The people I associate with at school try to make me feel included, but I don’t have the fuckin balls to ask them anything. I live in a small town in Michigan and I love it, but I need motivation and support at this stage in my life. I applied to a job and my parents are somewhat supportive but from my point of view, […]
big man
Whip in hand
Thinks he’s got what it takes
To win
Games of sin
Seems he’s made a mistake
I’m not
A single shot
I’ll make you wish you could stay
Try now
Break me down
You’ll never escape these chains
I will
Shoot to kill
Make sure your eyes are on me
This thrill
Ill make you feel
And then I’ll turn to leave
Get down
On the ground
I want you begging on your knees
Why?
Because all the things I loved
Were lies and clever bait
But I’ll be the one you’re dreaming of
until you finally awake
I’ll kiss you in […]
I don’t understand how you can come across someone and just click with them and before you know it, really start to like them in a romantic sense. What makes some people more outstanding than others? Why is it we can create this unique bond with someone that inevitably will be there forever whether you like it or not, or why do others just outgrow their significant others without reason? I’ve been thinking about you for the past 6 months now and I knew when we were “together” for the three short months it of course wasn’t love. But now it’s been so long, even […]
I don’t remember what those words referred to yesterday but I know its Depressing more like begging than a request
I remember leaving my soul
I’d forgotten that I needed it to
Feel
But maybe when I die
I’ll just grab it real quick
And come right back
I remember losing my mind
I’d forgotten that I needed it
To think and maybe to keep me alive
I can’t believe I’vegot this far
With a head so empty
I. Remember losing my faith
I forgot I needed God like a big brother
But maybe when I die
I will die escaping
I will die returning to the fold
I will tell you some of my personal story for those who care to know. So ever since I started elementary school, I wasn’t normal, I didn’t talk to anyone, I was shy, my family thought I was autistic because of mu extreme shyness. I didn’t make my first friend until the second grade. Most of my early school days are a blur and I don’t really remember, so. I started smoking weed in 6th grade, and that became the love of my life for the next 6 or seven years. When I was at school all I could think about was going home and […]
This post is gone.
I’ve never felt like I fit in – lost in a crowded room..
At school I was painfully shy – I wear a mask so no one knows the real me.
But the strangest feeling I’ve had since I can remember is that I feel like I just don’t belong here. Like maybe I was born in the wrong century or country.. I can’t explain it any better than that, but I feel so lost and like I don’t want to be here anymore – Its like I remember something, or someone and I miss them and desperately want to be with them again – […]
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