So this basically what’s been going on in my life for the past 3 years I’m married no kids and I have a husband that does love me.in my culture get married very young I got married at 18 and that involves living with your in until it’s time for you to move out and live on your own.after a year and a half of marriage I was feeling pretty good I wasn’t feeling completely worthless and I haven’t cut in almost a yearPoint.right after 2nd year mark life went to shit .financially I was very unstable which is a very big problem my mother […]
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Is it fair that I blame my mom for what happened? I mean after all, she does have 4 child and she needed to work, right? She needed to be out, RIGHT? But what about me? Was it my fault for wearing such short skirts and shorts? Is it possible that I actually provoked him? What if I had trusted someone? If maybe I hadn’t been so damn scared, then maybe, just maybe Mom would love me, right? Stupid hope. She’s always trying to get in and then karma -like the ***** she is- comes around and destroys it. Of course Mom would never love […]
Things was good me n him then he relaspsed pycosis im scard it will take him away from me i had to get u help but everytime u call u say hurtful n things like u r not with me but before u relapsed we was good i am scared idk what i can do with out u i wait for u to.come bk home or will.u ever as ur mind right now thinks diff i hope u hold on to us i have nothin with out u but i will be patient things right now feel as if my world is falling hello all […]
I feel like dying right now. That doesn’t have to do with the post but its true. If there was an instant death pill I could take i would. Since that isnt available im wondering about a natural anxiety remedy. Has anyone tried ashwaghanda? If so how has it gone/worked. I worry all the damn time and the increased cortisol and anxiety eating is slowing my weight loss. How does it compare to medication?(which i have hated personally) i checked examine.com and amazon reviews and they have positive things to say about it. Im going to at least try it. Still if anyone has anything […]
Frustrating thing:
I tried making an audio post so you could hear something I wrote a few years ago.
I can’t get the audio post to work right.
I chose “audio” as the format.
I clicked on “add media” and uploaded the sound file.
I clicked on “preview” to make sure it would work.
It doesn’t.
Keeps saying “File Not Found”.
I tried the whole thing again, deleting the sound file, deleting the post draft.
Tried all over again.
Chose audio format.
Uploaded the file.
Clicked on Preview.
Nothing. It just keeps saying “File not found”.
WHAT am I doing wrong???
The file’s only 15.5 KB, so it’s well below the […]
I barely have any energy to type this right now. Im totally dejected. I turned 26 last week, and think Im ready to go buy a gun. I dont even know where to begin. My acne scars have totally destroyed my cheeks, my relationships, my family, my job, my entire life. Ive always held hope that things like lasers, and peels would make a difference. But after working my ass off, showing the world my deep scars to save thousands for these treatments, a year later the improvement is minor. Im right back where I started and theres no hope of it getting any better. […]
i need to talk, i need the distraction. I’m so conflicted right now it is insane.
I’m just overflowing with sadness right now.
I am always, but especially right now.
I posted this 3 times already, but the concert I had attended was called, “WE DAY,” an entertaining show with dancers, singers, and speakers to come together in order to celebrate giving back to the community/ world. Helping out others, making this world amazing day by day.
It was very inspirational. I have to admit. I felt I COULD have a place in this world to make it better…
But the entire time I listened, I thought:
“I can’t even help myself…How can I help others?”
Hello again,
This post is different from what I usually see on here but I am hoping that it can help me to share it with you guys. I’m baring my soul here: This is a diary entry from a few weeks ago, I am quoting straight from my diary because after hearing opposing opinions on the story, I do not know what to believe anymore and I wrote this right after it happened so this is exactly how I remember it.
“Friday I drank way too much. Puked 3 times? I wanted to go somewhere to chill, last year I always went to the guys’ dorm to hang, […]
sitting on my couch my stomach hurts my brain hurts im full of tears and anger and rage and hate and wind and shit and garbage and i just want to die
please someone come here and blow my brains out cut me up murder me i can’t do this anymore
this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks
i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i can’t do this anymore i can’t do this anymore i can’t live i can’t live i can’t handle being here with myself alone and lonely i want to chop off all my limbs and organs and […]
as anyone ever had there earphones go out to where they can only hear out of one side? omg mine have done so, and I beyond highly annoyed at there hour. I mean I live in the UK for blokes sake, am I suppose to run down to my local Wal mart and pick up a new pair:? I spent 30 pounds on these…I am so not happy right now.
I have mentioned many times how I have been in love with this girl for so long. I also posted quite recently about how I have finally gotten over her and have felt like I can comfortably have relationships now that I am no longer in love with her. She messaged me a couple of days ago and damn, i’m back. How can I be so in love with a girl. She messages me and I light up right away and message her right back. I am evem expecting a letter in the mail from her. We’ve been exchanging letters since freshman year. […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I think I plan to go by May. The month I’m supposed to graduate. See, I was to kill myself January 9th (my birthday) I had the right method to make sure I don’t actually wake back up, but I didn’t have the right place. And I couldn’t do it at home because I don’t want my mom seeing my lifeless body. But in May, I’ll have a place.
I was supposed to graduate college this year but I had to dropout due to academic probation. My grades dropped really bad, to the point where I just ended up failing all my classes. I don’t […]
I use to do a fun random quote of the day for my friends in the morning…here are some of them. Thought you guys might some of them funny.
Well, aren’t we a fun filled lollipop tripled dipped in psycho?
Me Crazy? Don’t make me get down off my unicorn and slap you!
Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes, but if I am still not back just read this message again.
Starting tomorrow – whatever life throws at me, I am just going to duck so it hits someone else.
My friend thinks he is so smart, he said onions are the only foods that make you cry. So […]
Listening to this right now…so fitting, love this song:
Make a space
For my body.
Dig a hole.
Push the sides apart.
This is what
I’m controlling.
It’s a moat
The inside that I carve.
This will my monument
This will be a beacon when I’m gone
Gone, gone
When I’m gone
Gone, gone
When I’m gone
So that when the moment comes,
I can say I did it all with love
Love, love
All with love
Love, love
All with love
Make a cast
Of my body.
Pull back out,
So that I can see.
Let go of
How you knew me.
Let go of
What I used […]
I fucked up really bad. I messed up my presentation. I had a panic attack in class. It was so embarrassing.
I had to leave school early. I was sent home so I can pull myself together. I have an exam tomorrow. I don’t know how I’ll make it through that.
When I got home to tell my parents I had a terrible day, that I couldn’t concentrate in class, my father threw a fit.
He told me, I don’t have the right to feel terrible. All of the problems in my family are because of me. I don’t have the right to say things are hard for […]
I’m never going to be the same, it’s still here in my head and it’s not going away. The voice in my head.
He’s me but not me, how do you describe yourself when you don’t even know who you are anymore. He knows me better than anyone else, better than my parents ever will, better than my “friends” ever will. I don’t think even she can save me anymore. It’s been too long.
I wanted to go to college, I wanted to go to university to study maths. Now I can’t hardly do a sum without thinking about her, or what I’ve done since, what I’m […]
It’s ironic how our life experiences are meant to make us the people we are meant to be but they seem to be crippling us at the same time pushing me right to the edge is this my destiny to live in the shade were the light in the dark ?