I’m fed up of broken promises of ‘when you move to X, things will get better’. I moved schools three times (once in year 8, then again in year 12). It never got better. Now I’m at uni and I was lured in with that same stupid lie. It isn’t better here. If anything it’s worse. I’ve already overdosed here, unfortunately failing. I’m just fed up and lonely and at the end of a thin rope. I’m ready to snap.
Tag:
school
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
I’ve gotten to be very good at hiding what’s inside. Whenever somethings wrong or bothering me, I can usually hide it really well. I have several different masks though..
Home/Family Mask- When I’m home and just around my parents i usually just chill in my room and act tired (which i usually am when im upset). I curl up in my sweat pants and wrap up in blankets so they can’t see if I have hurt myself in anyway. But I havnt done that in a while. This mask is usually just hiding out and being tired.
Dance Mask- When i’m at dance, i just try to act goofy […]
I just want to scream at the school and say ‘FUCK THE SYSTEM! FUCKING LETTER GRADES SHOULD NOT CONTROL MY LIFE AND MAKE ME FEEL MORE DEPRESS!’
I posted this on another suicide forum also, just in case no one responds/cares etc.
I’ve been feeling suicidal all year. I’m a senior in high school. I only have one more year until I’m out of here. I dont know why I always have to fuck everything up. No one notices I’m depressed because I’m excellent at hiding myself. I withdrew from my friends and read Sylvia Plath’s journals everyday in the corner of the library. I think about starving myself to death or overdosing on advil. I want to slit my wrists. But then I think about my little brother, and I just. He’s […]
I was one of those people that were always like killing yourself is stupid. I realize now that was because I had it pretty close to I prefect life. But I worked hard to do that too. I had all As and great friend. And I was so pretty. In my freshman year of high my mom told me we were moving. I didn’t want too. But would any teenager want to move 1,000 miles away from their life, friends, everything. I throw I fit but I knew I was making it harder on myself so I told her I would be good and go. […]
So many people posting their story.. Thought I’d post mine.
I guess all the ‘bad stuff’ really started when I was 11. Sure my dad abused us before then, but only as a dicaplin. Pulling the hair.. Slapping the face.. Kicking your ass all the way up the stairs to your room..
When I was 11, I was molested. May 6th, 2005. About 4am from my guess. It was at my best friend’s birthday party. Her dad. Needless to say I don’t really talk to her anymore. She got too messed up for obvious reasons.
It wasn’t too bad really. I just woke up with his hand on […]
My day was even worse than usual. It started off when I walked to the library to wait gor the bell to ring. I sat by some people who I knew because they were in a few of my classes. When I sat down, the guy I sat next to looked at me and said, “Theres reasons why I don’t like you. So why are you sitting next to me?” This might not have bothered most people, but it sure bothered me. It was just another person reminding me that nobody cares about me. The whole day what he said to me was stuck in […]
A random thought (inspired by SuicideKillMe’s post, “You Saw”).
by LiveNoLonger
written by LiveNoLonger
This is just a random thing I thought of while walking past her in school today. This is inspired by SuicideKillMe’s post, “You Saw.” It is an amazing post & I highly recommend that you read it.
You walk by you and you look at me, not even caring about the strong friendship we once had and not even trying to bring it back. You notice that I have no friends, yet you don’t try to reach out to me to become my friend. You look at me, right in the eyes but you say nothing. You know I was right when I said that […]
Some of you can probably relate.
I’m a friendless, lazy dumbass. Who was suicidal….
I’m not a lazy person by nature, nor am I really dumb, but that’s how school makes me feel like, what with all these low grades, and the constant reminder to do better and the uneeded pressure from parents and teachers. I just don’t give a shit about some of the classes at school, like math and history and chemistry, they are sooo boring, and I just dont bother with it–atleast I try not to, but It’s hard to not be bothered by all the work schools pile on us, which are mostly useless, boring information that […]
I’ve been struggling with Major Depressive Disorder, anxiety and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder for about 3 years. I was hospitalized two years ago for obsessive thoughts, major depression and anxiety. I had homicidal and suicidal ideations for a long time. I hated school. Hated all those pricks in it. Along with the faculty and the injustice of the school. I researched the history of school shootings, and Columbine interested me the most. I could relate so much to Harris & Klebold. Their thoughts, plans and everything. I got to thinking: “Well I hate school. I hate the injustice of the school, my classmates and everything.” I was […]
I cannot take this anymore. I screw everything up. School, friendships, everything. At school most of thebl people I know make fun of me, or do everything they can to annoy me. What great “friends.” They are just another reason why I want to kill myself. I’ll be sure to tell them before I kill myself that they were a reason as to why I will be doing it. Of course they wouldn’t care much. Nobody would care if I was gone.
-End
I actually thought i was going to kill myself a few weeks to a month ago, but my friend somehow stopped me. School is but a few days away, and for me that means horrible grades(because im so stupid and cant understand a damn thing im taught in school), horrible grades will get my parents to yell at me which, in turn, will bring suicidal thoughts like no other. Also, ill be attending the same school as Her, the person whom i shall love with all my heart forever. And just the sight of her, just the sound of her voice can bring me […]
this is my first time writing here. I usually don’t like to share my feelings with people but i really just don’t know where to go. I lost my dad to cancer about 5 years ago ever since i think about him every night he was my best friend i started high school this year and its is i dont know most people that know me would say i have a pretty good life i have “tons of friends” or at least what i thought were friends and i am a star football player but what people dont know is that everyday im taunted […]
I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 and now at 19 I am determined to do it propaly in February I had a break down where I nearly went onto the wards and after I recovered I thought that maybe there was a point to life. It was like somebody brought out a blank page and said I could do anything! But these last few weeks when I have restarted school, moved out from a difficult home situation and applied to good universitys I have felt rubbish again. I ought to be feeling better. My teacher’s have been so supportive and have really helped […]
I am now 18 years old, living with my parrents in Ohio. My parrents never really did anything with me especially my father. I am an outcast from my school, and have no real friends when i was `16 i withdrew from people and started playing a game called Second Life(a type of online chatting software). It was amazing how much better this made me feel. i met people and made friends, and it quickly became an addiction. Recently though i havent had anyone to talk to there either. People avoid me in both lives. i have come closer and closer to pulling out one […]
When I went to my professor after class today, I was going to ask for advice. Out of the five classes I’m taking this semester, I’m only passing one. I knew I made some mistakes or I wouldn’t have been asking for help. Well, instead of getting advice, I got lectured. It wasn’t a nasty lecture, but it was one of those that comes from a really sweet teacher, but has a stern voice, so you know she’s upset with you. And it was along the lines of being told that I’m blaming my son and everyone else for my problems. And to add insult […]
         Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? Who can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even […]
So, what happened… Thursday night, I downed a bottle of medicine, because someone three fries short of a happy meal wrote on a website that “liquid is absorbed faster than pills.†So I thought… I die faster, and I fall asleep before I suffer. So much for that idea…
Obviously, my plan didn’t work. I didn’t have to go to the hospital or anything, though. I downed it, and my heart was pounding, to the point that I just knew I was going to die. So I laid down in bed, pulled the covers over my head, turned on Relient K, and tried to go to […]
Since I keep coming back here, I have to throw in my cent and half. I’ve noticed a couple of things, before I go into my horrible depths of self-pity… First, I thought I was the only one who wrote with proper grammar. Gosh, does it sound horrible that I would notice such a thing when I’m low enough to even be on this website? But honestly, I’ve barely known what people were talking about when I’ve read other forums on random things. Please, any grammar dorks on here, go to yahoo! answers with a red pen and you’ll come back satisfied. But I can understand […]