.
For about ten years I wore a pair of hematite rings.
Usually they don’t last that long because they can be brittle.
Mine finally broke awhile back, and I enjoyed searching for a suitable replacement.
Something which was interesting but still dark and angsty.
I decided on this. I think it’s pewter.
Gotta love the all-enveloping claws of doom.
I wear it every day.
Some music that helps me cope with depression and ease the pain,
I hope you might discover a song or two that you will like or even maybe it will help you in someway,
or at least it will give you an appetite for searching new music or songs.
I have try to shorten the list, and divide songs in some fashion for a little easier overview.
If you find a song that you like, please let me know, also post a song that you like and I will check it out!
PART I.
— music & lyrics + “the feelings so deep and true” —
Dark Tranquillity […]
Hiya, hope everyone is doing ok today? And if not well, lets hope ur just doing…
I just finished work and after much soul searching have decided there is NOthing I can do about how others perceive me. I spent the last 18 or so hours wondering if my comments here on SP were good enough, closely followed by some things I said to work colleagues, and then the finalie was wondering why my fcuk face alcoholic father hasnt responded to calls or texts from me, after we not spoken for like 4 years. It’s retarded that I hate him yet for the […]
So…
I am thinking, and searching on Google about it. And it feels good doing so because then everything becomes bearable: being scared of my future, being alone, being tired. I am thinking of staying on bed all day. I am sucking bigtime on my work and on my classes. I am trying and trying. But at the end nothing is working against my depression.
I am on therapy and on classes on how to deal with things. I am here. I called people and tried exercising. Tried being positive and living in present time. That’s what I am working on right now. But if I could […]
So, I’ve made it clear I’m leaving. I’ve been attacked from every angle. It’s relentless. I’m holding my ground. I won’t back down. I’ll burn this fucking world to the ground.
Where’s this strength coming from? I’m not sure. I will use it as long as it last.
I theorize I’ve never been more serious about suicide. I don’t want to die. So human-drive.
Here’s a poem I wrote through my sons eyes:
Watching out the windows,
Looking out of doors,
Scanning the horizon,
Gaze up to the stars.
Searching for that something,
That has gone so far away,
I don’t remember why I’m waiting,
Mom has lost her keys again,
dad keeps seaching for his cell phone,
sis is busy in her laptop,
bro is listening to music.
And I know where the keys are,
and I know where the phone is.
And I know what she is searching
and I know what he found there.
So I know what is comming,
but don’t know whats going on.
—
I feel worthless, empty and alone.
I will no kill myself anytime soon but I am destroying my life… doing nothing on the sofa
I’m an 18 y/o girl from England suffering from depression, I think its mild/normal but to me it feels severe as I’m sure it does to everyone. I’m on anti-depressants and I thought they were helping but today I feel worse than I have in so long, I’ve been searching suicide and came across this site. I’m also wondering whether to get off the pills because I don’t want to rely on them, but counselling hasn’t helped either.
I’m bored of my life, I feel like I will fail my a levels this June and if I don’t get into uni I don’t know what […]
Cold seems crippling lame meander through corridors aroma’s thick
with age mark off the day reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don’t want it don’t want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I’m lost in,
A structure that’s collapsing don’t want it cast into,
Maker take the body don’t want it wants me
Past has found its place salvation is no more will god accept my
peace bleached will pardon me reflections of my life are fading
Pull me out of body don’t want it don’t want in,
Feeble frail and rotting descending I’m lost in,
A structure that’s collapsing don’t want […]
Some song lyrics I wrote awhile back, without music I guess it’s a poem. Only sharing because I think some of you will enjoy it.
Part 1:
My shadows gone, today.
My own reflection, just looks away.
I’ve lost something, somewhere,
Down the road.
But it’s hard to remember,
what you didn’t know. . .
Part 2:
Sitting beside myself,
We didn’t recognize us.
So we parted ways,
Left myself in the dust.
Searching for answers,
No questions at hand.
Been looking so long ,
Forgot where I am
Part 3:
So I pour out a shot,
But I drink from the bottle.
And I figured it out ,
Somewhere near the bottom.
But when I woke up,
I’d forgot it all again…
I want to die at the same time i want to live. I want to go forever in peace but I want to explore life in different perspectives. I live in hell, and everyday is a battlefield and i want to feel what heaven feels like. I’m craving for some time alone. I want to go to a place away from socialization, i want to walk away from everything even just for a while. Sometimes, i want to live and every moment, i’m searching for peace.
I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep searching for my purpose and for something…anything that can make me forget everything. Sometimes like a couple of days ago, yesterday, today… I wish there was a little pill that can erase all my memories. I want to wake up a new and different person and see life and see the world with a different perspective because i can’t do it on my own. I’m more than damaged, I’m half dead.
I lost my soul when these two men came by on a Halloween night. I wasn’t afraid to walk alone, searching for some bathroom maybe close by the festival. They appeared out of no where and grabbed me in the corner of an isolated dead-end. The first one held a knife at my neck, telling me that if I made any sound, my life would end.
I lost my soul that night. Their filthy hands all over me, in my shirt, between my legs, in my pants. Their breath was smelling like alcohol and vomit. I tried to close my eyes so that I could maybe […]
I couldn’t tell by the look in your eyes
If it’s just the empty room
The empty heart
The empty scars
When fading away in an empty world
I bet deep inside you were just waiting for a chance to say goodbye
But I was never there
I’ve always been anywhere
You kept searching
I’ve always been anywhere
And you, you kept searching
When they both passed away,
It was too much for you to take
The walls came closer
The seasons got colder
The sickness took you away
And I watched you fall asleep
I couldn’t take my eyes from your face
Now you’re […]
Im new to this forum. I recently found it and Ive been searching for something like this for a while. Im sad. Very sad. I mean, I see a few good days but overall Im sad. I dont want to be sad, no one does, but I dont know what to do anymore. I know that these past few weeks Ive been contemplating something I never thought Id want. Suicide. I always thought that would never be an option for me due to family things that Id rather not discuss here but It seems to be on my mind a lot.
Maybe I need a friend […]
I guess this is the place to vent. I don’t know it’s been about three years since I’ve been this depressed. I used to be on this website back then. I feel like crying screaming and then again I feel numb and so emotionally exhausted that I’m hurting physically. Almost three years ago I was raped and I’m holding the best thing in my arms right now that ever walked the face of the earth. She is the product from that horrid night but omg she’s so amazing!!! I fall in love with her more and more every day. But what in the world do […]
Hey everyone, sorry for the ramble –
Has anyone here overcome (at least in part) anxiety or depression through mindfulness and meditation?
I’ve tried to practice them in the past but for the past few years I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety/panic, and it’s so difficult that I’ve never really kept it up. Since I’ve had ME I’ve been more eager to try – it’s a lot harder now to distract myself from depression and anxiety. I’ve also come across some methods people have used to cure their physical symptoms using their minds, so it seems more important than ever that I gain some control […]
I’ve been a suicideproject reader for a year now. Been depressed for 8 years, but it’s getting on and off.
Why is it so hard to leave this world? Why is it not legal to end our own life?
I keep thinking about the homeless people, people who went crazy and just roam around in the streets. I put myself into their shoes and it made me more depressed. I thought that maybe someday I will become like them. NO!! I can’t take it anymore. I want to take my own life as soon as possible. I always cry every night. Even though I am still hanging […]
i found this site by searching up what would happen if i swallowed 12 nurofen. it wasn’t for me but for my friend who i love very much. I’m worried about her safety but also my own because I’m extremely unhappy.. i feel sick.. i feel like dying.. everyday this girl asks me if i will be alive tomorrow before i go offline, just so she knows i won’t kill myself. today i feel like purposefully not being online so she can’t ask me. that way no commitment. that way i can die and she won’t even know. my parents don’t know her so she […]
I’ve been desperate to find some pro-suicide chat rooms or forums, ones that are well-frequented. Many of the old ones are dead. Forums and chats where one can make suicide-pacts are also greatly appreciated. I know I can’t be the only one searching. Thank you in advance.
I can’t get no sleep
Ok, so that’s an exaggeration. Even on the worst nights, I usually manage 1-2 hours. What I mean to say is that I can’t get enough sleep to function properly. During my work week, I spend most of the time wandering around in a haze, zombified, narrowly avoiding bumping into people, longing for the day to end. But then the night finally comes, and I just can’t get to sleep at a reasonable hour, no matter how tired I am.
I feel like I’ve tried all the standard advice. Sticking to routines, exercise, limiting technology use, changing my diet, meditation, yoga, warm […]
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