Tag:

Sexual Abuse

new here, feeling lost, venting

by ataria-coronaria 2/20/2018

written by ataria-coronaria

Hi, “artaria” 21, gnc intersex/transgender and hating life

I’m almost 22 but I feel as if I am generations older from all of the messed up stuff that has happened in my life. Every year seems to have un-ending sadness and awful events. So many horrible things I couldn’t begin to list it all.

It is embarking on the anniversary of the last really big traumated thing to happen in my life last year. Months of intense emotional and physical abuse culminated to me finding myself in an even worse situation that I don’t really want to get into right now…

I still blame myself in a lot […]

2/20/2018 7 comments

I Don’t Know If I Need Help Or A Knife

by False_Determination 5/22/2016

written by False_Determination

This is the first time I’m ever going to tell someone my life story. I just need someone to
know. It might be a little long.

When she was pregnant with me, my mother did all kinds of drugs with my father. I was also
the only child she planned.

When I was three, my father raped a girl. Shortly after, my mom did something stupid and got sent to jail.

My siblings and I all got seperated. I moved in with my grandparents from my moms side.

They were my first memories. The only ones I actually enjoy. That is until my grandmother had a stroke. So […]

5/22/2016 9 comments

Useless

by Visual 8/30/2014

written by Visual

I don’t know why I keep going unless it’s out of habit. I long ago passed the point where I can even pretend to be dealing with the daily pain. Raised in an abusive home, sexually abused in high school, and HIV+. I’ve struggled for decades to deal with my depression. I’ve struggled to maintain an occupation for which I’ve sometimes received professional recognition, but now no one’s interested. I’m ignored. Never a word when I respond to a job posting…or they want to humiliate me further by paying me Burger King wages. As a Boomer, I guess I’m now too old. As productive as […]

8/30/2014 4 comments

Why?

by bostontee 12/11/2013

written by bostontee

I can’t answer that question clearly. Counselors have asked but I never had a reasonable or “good” response. It’s hard to explain to most people that you’ve never been loved or cared for. It’s hard for most people to fathom not being able to trust a living soul. Some assume that I am mentally ill and have some kind of schizophrenia because I am unable to connect with others. No, I am not mentally ill in the sense that I have some kind of problem dealing with reality. If I am considered mentally ill it would be because I have been put through the wringer […]

12/11/2013 3 comments

i fucking hate life.

by crippledbyfearandselfloathing 8/25/2013

written by crippledbyfearandselfloathing

i’m so sick and tired of existing. sometimes i don’t feel fear, i am terrified of the pain that will come with killing myself because there is no easy way out, but sometimes i feel no fear, i feel desperation and unbearable pain. i just want it to be over and i NEED the courage to just fucking do it. i’m miserable and tired. the worst part to all of this is that there is no reason behind any of the pain that i feel or for that matter the pain anybody feels. theres no reason. no meaning. nothing. as they say, shit just happens. […]

8/25/2013 2 comments

Torment

by Rain 7/16/2013

written by Rain

I am 19. I used to get bullied and sexually abused when I was in elementary school. In middle school, there was no sexual abuse just bullying, but I met Him. We didn’t go to the same middle school, but he lived across the street from me. I was at his house every day when I got out of school. His brother, Him, and I. We were always alone as their uncle and aunt were always out working or partying. Soon, it was only he and I..together alway. We went to the same highschool and I was bullied no more. He had given me a […]

7/16/2013 3 comments

Repressed Memories

by silenttears 5/13/2013

written by silenttears

Please do not judge me on this letter, I am only curious as to what all this means.

Lately I have been feeling like SOMETHING bad had happened when I was a child or any other time but I cannot shake this feeling away.

I have a weird fascination with the whole sexual abuse, predator/little girl, etc. (Now, when I say fascination I do not mean I like it any way shape or form or wish it upon others because I think that is sick and anyone who believes its ok is messed up) but I find myself thinking about it and wanting to research it to […]

5/13/2013 3 comments

Rantings of a crazy person

by LostOlHope 4/7/2013

written by LostOlHope

Like the title says, this is just a rant about my trials and tribulations. I don’t really know if posting my story will be of any use to anyone but I just couldn’t leave this world without anyone knowing about it. I guess someone should know, even if they don’t really know me. But in all honesty I don’t know if anybody really knows the real me. I wear a mask and pretend to be “normal”. So nobody really knows. They’ll probably never find out either because this page doesn’t link to me in any way. But I figured somebody should know my story and […]

4/7/2013 3 comments

When You’re All Alone

by the empty shell 4/6/2013

written by the empty shell

When you’re all alone, and there’s nobody to hold you,

you cry, you weep, all by your lonesome.

When there is nobody to care, and you’re swalloed into despair, you give up. Ready to see what’s really up.

Scream and cry, swallow and die.

Sleeping pills that were supposed to take your life.

Wake up with an IV in your arm, people asking questions whether you’re into self harm

Drinking charcoal, in a hospital gown.

They shouldn’t have saved me. What the Hell do I do now?

They put you in a mental hospital when you’re released from the hospital.

Sleep in a bed with lumps, shower in a gray bathroom.

I was there for […]

4/6/2013 4 comments

by kissnm10 4/1/2013

written by kissnm10

I guess I could finally tell my story on here. I’ve been posting on here for a month, and I still never got out why I’m got so fucked up in the first place. Now, I don’t claim to have a bad life, just a fucked up mind and an inability to deal with what I have experienced.

I grew up in a pseudo-Christian home. By that, I mean that my family was picture perfect in Sunday service and fighting on the way home. My parents dragged us there but never really lived any of it, and I hate that about religion. So much pretense. Don’t […]

4/1/2013 7 comments

lost

by forgottendreams_ 3/10/2013

written by forgottendreams_

I was just thinking.
I came across this site and started reading some of these posts, and realised I’m not the only one who feels alone. ‘Im so scared of doing something stupid.
I’m writing a post on here because this is the only way i can get my thoughts out without the constant judgement. Today my mum woke me up so i could go shopping with her. I got all dressed up, I wanted to feel nice and i did. In the car on the way there i put my headphones in, and just looked at all the cars going past. Wishing i was […]

3/10/2013 3 comments

its fryday and thers a girl crying in the boys bog and i realise people are so crule that im sick of them can you help me help her ples

by why i dont no 3/8/2013

written by why i dont no

right ill explane thers a amercn who has just come to are school forÂ gcses FOT resons unkonwn to meÂ and beeing a all boy school evrey time shes arownd evrey one acts like thave never seeÂ girl befor but as this grue old that startid to bulley her and this must hve gon to far because today she was in the boy lav crying her eyes out and cuting so i lock the door and put my mate out side to stop people coming in

“fuck off”

“love im not going to do aney thing to you nor am i goingÂ aney were till you tell me whats up” i […]

3/8/2013 0 comment

one reason why.

by b1urr 1/13/2013

written by b1urr

(might be triggering)

i’d say it began in 6th grade; they made me weak by pointing out my flaws. i had thought,Â why would anybody want me if i look like this? i began giving away my food because i didn’t want to be fat, i never smiled because i didn’t like my teeth, i didn’t talk much because i didn’t like what i often said. they persuaded me to hate myself.

so when he would pay attention to me, in 7th grade, i felt happy. too happy. he was the first to see my scars. he told me he cared. but he only wanted one thing..

it wasn’t […]

1/13/2013 1 comment

Soultion to my problems

by Arianna1997 12/15/2012

written by Arianna1997

Hello my name is Arianna I am 15 years old. I have no reason to live. i hate this I hate all of this. I hate the human beings in this world who make it their job to judge and bully. I hate the models out there that are the pure essence of beauty when they are all bones and skin. I hate the stupid corrupted police system that turns a blind eye to a child being sexually abused because it’ll make their job easier to sit on their lazy asses!
So here I sit in hate with blood dripping from my wrists writing to […]

12/15/2012 4 comments

I struggle so much with wanting to exist

by SomeDuder 11/24/2012

written by SomeDuder

I’m going into this thinking that I’ll seem stupid or that people are going to shit on me. Trolls seem to exist everywhere and they’re probably on this site too. Also, I ostensibly have a great life, and if/once I can manage to get my act together, I’ll probably be a very happy and successful man. No history of sexual abuse, no awful violence, little to no economic hardship, etc. I went to a good college and, until recently, was in decent jobs that provided me with living wages. Under the surface, though, I feel like I’m losing my head and I’m not sure what […]

11/24/2012 7 comments

I do know why I’m here

by Rainbowhead 10/14/2012

written by Rainbowhead

Iâ€™m female, 33. Married, 3 kids (b13, g11, g9), 2 dogs..and a cat who thinks heâ€™s god. I’m a childhood abuse survivor. Physical, sexual and emotional.it was done to me, primarily by my mother. Didnâ€™t have any siblings, father wasnâ€™t around. It seems the sexual abuse hurt the most, though I know the emotional is always there as well. It’s that voice in the back of my head telling me that I’m stupid, fat, ugly, lazy, no one wants me, I’ll never amount to anything. I’m worthless, horrible. I’m only good for sex.

I’ve been a full time student since 2009, but had a breakdown this […]

10/14/2012 4 comments

Crushing loneliness

by BrimestoneKH 9/11/2012

written by BrimestoneKH

Ever since I can remember I’ve been alone. When I was a baby my dad left and I’ve never met him, my so called mum wanted to give me to foster care but my nanna stepped in and took me in. My poppa mostly ignored me when I was growing up and he and my Nanna divorced when I was 10. I lived with my Nanna for a year. When we were living together she started a relationship with this guy and all I remember isÂ her telling me it had ended with him because I was a bad kid. Then she sent me to live […]

9/11/2012 1 comment

My last resort.

by shaunie_b 4/30/2012

written by shaunie_b

I am a victim if sexual abuse as a child . After blocking it out for so long, I came forward and the offender was jailed summer last year. Ever since I have felt numb and have noÂ satisfactionÂ from his sentencing. I feel that although he can no longer get to me or other females in the family. My life is already tarnished and I am ready to give up. Suicide has never been a true option for me untiltonight. I’ve called some helplines, shed some tears. But its no use.

4/30/2012 9 comments

the Symptom Bearer

by the Guardian 4/28/2012

written by the Guardian

the Symptom Bearer

he sat angrily in his room, alone. He could hear them all talking downstairs. He knew they were all talking about him, it was always him!
Always your fault they chided him, you ruin everything.
In his family of 2 sisters and 2 brothers he was always the one in trouble, poor marks in school, always at the doctor, always in trouble somehow.
He was the Symptom Bearer.
Families are complex groups called systems. Even the simplest one parent one child family has a family system. A family system is made up of the unspoken rules and secrets of each family. Your family […]

4/28/2012 2 comments

curious to see if others think they have it worse than me?

by idunno 3/29/2012

written by idunno

(SORRY THIS IS GUNNA BE REALLY UNorganized, I just keep editing it, and adding info..Hi I’m a physically healthy (not so much mentally) 18 y/o girl, with many issues including: Severe anxiety (social), I have been depressed before, suicidal, I’ve been recently diagnosed with ADD. I think I might have avoidant personality disorder, mild ocd? mild sexual abuse and I think I had selective mutism as a child up until gr.11 when I dropped out of highschool, because I cracked . and alienated/avoided virtually all my friends(due to depression, humiliation and I didn’t want to have anything to do with my school.) I spend most […]

3/29/2012 7 comments

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