Tag:

Shit

5/5/2004 my world ended, my life nearly followed.

by Unique 6/27/2012

written by Unique

Hello, this is my story.

Pre 5/5/2004 I was just a normal person, i had bipolar but i was diagnosed as a child and managed it with hardcore meditation my whole life. Other than that my life was normal. nothing traumatic ever happened to me. I never lost anyone. I was attending college. I had a beautiful girlfriend. I was smart, i had the whole world in front of me.

On the 5/5/2004 i woke up in my GF’s college house, it was cold and i was shivering. I rolled over and Jane was not there. I got up and saw here keys and phone on the […]

6/27/2012 5 comments

The Longing To Die.

by JaneDoe3601 6/27/2012

written by JaneDoe3601

I’m 13. My Life Started Spiraling Downhill When I Was In Elemetery School.
5th Grade, I Kept Getting In Trouble In School. 6th Grade I Was Arrested For Running Away, For Vandalism, For Asulting An Officer Of The Law. My Parents Divorced. I Started Smoking, I Was Hanging Around The Wrong Crowd. My Life Was Shit. 7th Grade The Coustidy Battle Came Along, Week To Week With My Father I Never Knew And My Amazing Mother. My Dad Started Getting Abusive, So I Refused To Go Over There. Costidy Battle Again, Only Every Other Weekend Now With Ol’ Daddy Dearest. Still Smoking, Still Getting In […]

6/27/2012 1 comment

Thoughts of leaving.

by iceyblueone 6/25/2012

written by iceyblueone

Everyday thoughts of taking my life are becoming more of a reality to me. I worry tho about my sweet daughter jenni who is the happiest little ray of sunshine I have been blessed with. She’s 22 years old now, lives with her boyfriend and just lives life. My 20 year old son is so lost in this world trying to find his way. He doesn’t really need me because he’s he’ll bent to do every thing his way. He’s a good kid tho. My youngest daughter is 18. She just graduated from hs and thinks she knows everything. […]

6/25/2012 6 comments

When is it my time?

by Whateverbell 6/23/2012

written by Whateverbell

Like, when is it my time to be that girl who was once the ugly duckling and turned into the beautiful swan? Because right now, im still the ugly duckling. It feels like no matter how old i get, or how much i try to change my look. I will always look like shit! it’s crazy. And everytime i think i look good, No one else does. Like no matter what i do, im always be that ugly ass girl. you know? and it gets annoying. Im tired of it. Im tired of being “the ugly one” when it comes to me hanging with my […]

6/23/2012 1 comment

Feels like I’m living a double life

by rose1234 6/17/2012

written by rose1234

Its seriously amazing at what you can hide by just putting on a smile. I am currently struggling with anxiety disorder, depression, and an eating disorder (Ednos). I hate my body and my self esteem is broken. Every time I talk to a guy, I have to back off because I don’t think I deserve to be loved. If I can’t even love myself ya know? I feel bad for anyone to ever like me because I have to hide how emotionally damaged I am. They don’t deserve to love me I’m tooo broken to deserve shit. I just want to be happy. No one […]

6/17/2012 5 comments

Love or lack thereof

by beaGhost 6/16/2012

written by beaGhost

Shit. He’s going to tell me he loves me. How do you tell someone that you’re not interested in love without them taking it personally? I don’t even think its possible for me to fall in love right now. Why now, why me again? I don’t want love. Please don’t tell me you love me. I can’t do it. This is as much as I can give right now. He doesn’t even know half of me yet. Please don’t fall for me. I am so far away from lovable, despite whatever brave face I present to the world. I’m not ready. I can’t do this. […]

6/16/2012 3 comments

Shock, horror, I’m down.

by lovelydyingdreams 6/16/2012

written by lovelydyingdreams

I’m Hannah. It’s my first time on this website, or any suicide forum for that matter. I found this website researching certain things about suicide. I’ve made several suicide attempts for over a year now, and I’m dead set on succeeding Â it this month. I don’t see a reason for living anymore. I’m useless. I’m so depressed that I don’t have the motivation to get out of bed, or eat, or speak, or even open my fucking eyes in the morning. It just all so pointless. The hurting, and suffering, and hoping. I grew up with an alcohol dependent, abusive, work obsessed father, aÂ narcissistic, jealous, […]

6/16/2012 10 comments

I really need some very good advice…

by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you 6/16/2012

written by maybe_soon_500_days_of_you

Hi all,

I wasn’t around for a while but i am still not ok at all. My problem is that I can’t enjoy my life. I just started crying without any reason. I know, that it would be good to do something like going swimming, or jogging or something else. But I am feeling so down I can barely start anything. Today there is a really huge city-party, where thousands of people are going. But I keep telling myself, that I won’t go there alone, because everytime I went in the public alone, I started feeling even more lonely. Unfortunately I dont have someone to go […]

6/16/2012 3 comments

I can’t do this shit anymore

by Harmless_sins 6/8/2012

written by Harmless_sins

Suicide thoughts creeping in again and again.
They wont escape from my dark mind. I fucking hate this eating disoder.
I hate it, it’s taking over my life and I keep denying it. I know it’s true.
Wake up and the first thought is:should I eat? No you fucking pig you shouldn’t
I isolate from everyone and everything. I
I wouldnâ€™t have to live with this stuff if I just died. Shit, If i had drugs I’d shoot them up…

6/8/2012 4 comments

This is it

by llmorrow75 6/7/2012

written by llmorrow75

And I can’t fucking wait. I borrowed a car for tonight, which is a key part to implementing my plan. Which I’m sticking to this time btw. I’m not risking failure again. For those of you who have stayed up night after night with me, fighting the dark, it truly meant alot to me… I want you to find whatever it is you are looking for. If I haven’t lost everything i loved, I will anyway. I have to shut this shit up my mind is split in half again, fighting itself. I would rather be completely fucking stupid than have an overactive mind that […]

6/7/2012 21 comments

Well, ain’t this some shit.

by ALLbeletsHAPPY 5/29/2012

written by ALLbeletsHAPPY

God. I’m sitting here in math class. My grades are slowly dropping. In everything. Its the end of the year, I just feel like it’s no use even trying anymore.
I don’t want to go on grade 11 just to fail or be close to failing again. It’s been like this my whole life. School is a mess. And so is life

5/29/2012 1 comment

nomatter how much i denie it, this is my truth to myself

by noexception 5/26/2012

written by noexception

it will always be the person you least expect,nomatter how many times you dye your hair, or change your appearence,your still you and your nothing special, not like everyone els,life is overrated,so whats so special about making the best outa having nothing, having noone,being used consinly, every time you stick your face out the front door, you fail to make it any futher,everytime you stick your face out the front door, someone says there your freind, but they aint,they either use you, or call you once and find you worthless enough to never answer or call you again,the only person that has ever made me […]

5/26/2012 2 comments

drunk. remember that i love alcohol post a few hours ago?

by jamesmohio 5/21/2012

written by jamesmohio

fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. what more can i say besides fuck? im sick of myself. sick of depending on everyone else, sick of wanting everyone to support me, sick of the charity that comes with being a depressed fuck. i wish i could get rid of myself already. i cant do shit at this point. im too fucking drunk to do anything besides finish this bottle and die. and just so you know, SUICIDE HOTLINES ARE FUCKING USELESS!!!! the last time i tried, the ****** just stuttered like, shit, what do i say? dude ill tell you what to say: fuck me, i […]

5/21/2012 7 comments

Please help. My email was forwarded to the police.

by BlueRainbow 5/20/2012

written by BlueRainbow

Call me stupid. Yeah, I was. Desperate and so fucking stupid!

I was looking at a gun sale website, emailed the owner, offered a lot of money and some bogus story as to why I didn’t have Â a licence to own one or a permit. Said It was for my bf birthday. Shit. I’m in Aus btw.

I set up a fake email that day. Fake name, birthday, birth date. That’s not enough to stop IP tracking though.

So I got an email back. I just knew it was a mistake.

It was a paragraph, I read the first line and it said “Your email address and email has […]

5/20/2012 11 comments

“Why?” Thats always the question, isn’t it?

by Cassie 5/20/2012

written by Cassie

Why don’t I have the will to make myself not feel this way? Empty and pathetic and miserable.. Too apathetic to do a thing, but still crying for all the idol moments. I have too much time. Left alone with my thoughts too long.. but I wont do a thing to change it. With every attempt the same thought comes to mind. You’re going to commit suicide regardless of what you do,so whats the point? That seems to be my view of everything. Just going to die, no reason to bother. I can’t care. I’m just not able to. Ive even given up pretending to […]

5/20/2012 1 comment

so tired of this shit

by neverenough 5/16/2012

written by neverenough

i’m at the end of this stupid fucking road. i wanna die.

5/16/2012 3 comments

Life will not get better

by Greene 5/16/2012

written by Greene

Well, my story is much longer, but I don’t feel like writing it all. I have been depressed for 2 years been in mental hopsital twice, I am only 16 (17 next month). A year ago my brother’s girlfriend killed herself she had depression and they met at the hopsital. And then three months later my brother followed. I found him dead in our bathroom. We were really close and, my life was shit enough before he died. I have been in hopsital again for 3 months, been on different pills nothing makes me feel better. My life is just not getting any better. Nothing […]

5/16/2012 0 comment

if you were me:

by NotReallyHereAtAll 5/11/2012

written by NotReallyHereAtAll

Right now you’re sitting in your room, all alone and feeling sad. There are a thousand things you know you could do that will cheer you up, but you can’t find the energy to do any of them. And so you just sit there and feel sad. You’d listen to music, but you know that won’t take your mind of things. Because the music you like has words and emotions, right now you can barely speak and can’t help feeling nothing but apathy for the world and everyone in it. Nothing matters and it’s all pretty meaningless. And then you’re suddenly thinking about the meaning […]

5/11/2012 3 comments

Whats the hold up??

by CJMudd 5/6/2012

written by CJMudd

I have no real complaints, I have a job, no mortgage, no dog, no loans no-one depending on me.Â I have low self esteem and little or no self worth, I am a perfectly functioning person so long as I don’t have to talk to anyone. On those glorious days when I can go about my business with not an utterance falling out my mouth, not a single bit of eye-contact. I thrive. I live in a city though. Where it is extremely difficult to avoid everyone.

When interaction, is unavoidable, I regress into my shell arms legs and head in short, turtle like. I become a […]

5/6/2012 2 comments

The one who helps needs the help.

by ALLbeletsHAPPY 5/5/2012

written by ALLbeletsHAPPY

My mom told me when I lived in my hometown and was not even one yet that when people had a bad day, theyd ask for me because just my presense cheered them up. People always tell me how noce I am. And how happy i am. And how much I fucking make their life so much better. Ive had people tell me i’d be a good therapist, and thats what I should do in life. Im known for helping people out.. But when it comes to me, I get no help. I have tO go through this shit alone. No one stops to ask […]

5/5/2012 6 comments

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