I started getting involved in things I do love. I hung out with family today, even though I didnt want to. I tried being nice, also I didn’t want to. I’m applying to jobs, reading and talking about the walking dead books and show.. And doing things I love. I watched tv. Again. I like the show fargo. About to watch homeland. And I’m figuratively and literally putting one foot in front of the other.. Even though it hurts. I’m always going to try bettering myself.. I hate that it took 8 months to cope and maybe more.. But I’m trying and it does feel […]
“Who am I? Who am I trying to be? Not myself, anyone but myself. Living in a fantasy to bury the reality making myself the mystery; a strong facade disguising the misery. Empty but beyond the point of emptiness, full to the brim of fake confidence. A guard that will never be broken because I broke it long time ago. I am hurting but don t tell anyone, no one needs to know. Don t show or you ve failed, always ok, always fine, always on the show. The show must go on, it will never stop. The show must not go on but I […]
The science channel is playing every single Mythbusters episode in order for 10 days I’ve forgot so much about this show in its early years…. the post is over im all suicidal ranted out. Im procrastinating and tired but i don’t feel like rambling. I hope you all feel better you are special people.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’ve been down for too long. I want to meet new friends, do new things. I’m tired of feeling sad. I want to live, I know there’s more to life, I just need someone to show me. I need new friends that will motivate me, who will encourage me and friends that will look out for me. All I need is a listening ear.
Who here has social anxiety that extends to the internet? It’s a lot easier to share my thoughts online, and it doesn’t bother me who reads, but talking to people directly via comments sends me into a state of panic. Even positives comments leave me flustered to the point that I have to close my browser and go do something else for a little while. Here, making comments on news stories, youtube videos; all so nerve wracking.
I figure that most people are their bodies, or have convinced themselves that they are their bodies, but I’ve convinced myself that I’m inside my body controlling it. All […]
I’m a 15 year old girl, who’s life seems like a trashy piece of shit. In the past year, I haven’t heard anything else from my parents other than the fact that i’m a fat flob. They always compare me from those who are as thin as sticks, and complain as to how I got so fat. Particularly, those bitches who they think are as innocent as kids, but are as slutty as some weird Miley Cyrus shit.
They should be happy I haven’t been banged yet.
Since i’m on my junior years, they expect me to lose about 15 kg when I’m stressed as fuck. My […]
My life is in complete shambles, some off it is my own fault but not all. the only reason stopping me is the pain id cause my mother. Im 37 and when i look back 20 years ago i had way more going for me then i do now. so to me it feels like all i have to show for 2 decades is emotional pain, disappointments and and battle scars. How much further backwards doi want to go? It feels like tunneling through the earth with a plastic spork would be easier then climbing out of this whole. But i have atleast decided to […]
“Hold on little girl
Show me what he’s done to you
Stand up little girl
A broken heart can’t be that bad
When it’s through, it’s through
Fate will twist the both of you
So come on dear come on over
Let me be the one to show you.”
I use the word attempt because I don’t want to succeed.
I’m too weak to actually plan on dying.
But, I feel like if things continue the way they are, then nothing will change.
I’ve been depressed since I was 8 years old, and I’m now 15.
My mum took me to the doctors for low mood and I got referred to counselling.
I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, but there’s no doubt that I have it. I stopped going to counselling because it just wasn’t helping.
I feel like a suicide attempt will mean getting help. I’ve talked to the doctors with my mum three times now and we’re getting […]
Burn It All
Went to a live concert last night. Pretty good show. The frontman really knows how to put on a show. Not bad at all. When I get to that point I’m going to blow people away. See, when I go to shows it’s selfish. I go only so that I can visualize myself on the same stage seeing myself doing the same things better. Seeing what things I like regarding lighting and acoustics and even the performance. I pick […]
Hi. Never done this before but my best guy friend has been going through issues since he was younger…he’s 24 now and can not deal any longer…I’ve been doing my best to talk to him, show him people still care even if it’s only me but it’s not talking him down any longer, he’s tired and ready to go. I am not completely sure what to do or how to go about this. I know he’s hurting but it has to be a better way than this. He has siblings, people who love him and are actively there but it’s not enough…confused friend at the […]
To kill time I binge-watched all 8 seasons of House on netflix. That show basically looks life, death, pain, sickness, grief, mental illness, addiction, lost love, anything else you can think of straight in the face and just puts it out there and really makes you think about how you would deal with that kind of stuff. Wilson was my absolute favorite. His and House’s friendship is the kind that’s excruciatingly hard to find and towards the end of the series House pretty much implied that he is nothing without Wilson. In one of the last episodes he goes on this epic tirade where he […]
Growing up in a traditional Asian household, life was very different from what I had read in American novels. With a strict Taiwanese father who graduated from Harvard, was the minister for Sino-America relations, and a Marine for 15 years, expectations were always set high. And my mother on the other hand, looked at me as no more than a show pony that she could steal accomplishments from. From an early age, achievement was measured in medals, and love in trophies. Whether or not I would get beaten depended on how fast my times in the latest swim meets were, how I placed in the latest […]
*From left to right; Xiumin (EXO-M), Luhan (EXO-M), Kris (EXO-M), Suho (EXO-K), Lay (EXO-M), Baekhyun (EXO-K), Chen (EXO-M), Chanyeol (EXO-K & my 2nd bias), D.O. (EXO-K & my 3rd bias), Tao (EXO-M & my bias), Kai (EXO-K) and Sehun (EXO-K & maknae)
*Luhan and Kris left the group last year (2014).
*EXO-K promotes in Korea, while EXO-M promotes in China.
My life has gotten better. I’m not sure if I’m still depressed but I can say I’ve been pretty happy these past few weeks. I’m not gonna lie, though. Too […]
I’m at wits end. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve happiness. I don’t deserve a job I can live off of. I don’t deserve a place to live. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve anything apparently. I try so hard, but I’m worthless, useless, ugly, no one would ever want me. I know I shouldn’t do this but I want to prove that I’m right, and show you just what an ugly, hideous, wretched monster I am. I’m not mad at the person I love. I’m mad at the universe or any higher power that made me this way. Why make me dream […]
In the sky
I see a man
He’s smiling but his eyes
Oh, to gaze into his eyes
They cry down sallow cheeks
The creases fill with salt
And drop into the ocean
Each night it slowly fills up
When I was small
Looking out onto the grassed terrace
Seeing his tears flow
I cried too
And realised
He was like me
Me and the Moon
We’re never alone
We cry together
: Some good music (Title Fight), 125 mg of Seroquel, 4 mg of Xanax, 15 mg of Temazepam, 2 shots of vodka, a beer, and a quick masturbation session before I fall asleep watching some lame ass television show or something. Loneliness really is a *****..
It’s been a while since I have been on here. I consider myself a suicide survivor. My story is not anything crazy but I invite anyone to contact me, young or old, male or female, to contact me. I want to be here to be your outlet. I want to be someone to hear your story and to pass on my wisdom that things will get better. So please, please contact me before you decide to put an end to it all. I will show you the world is worth sticking around for. My email is 2sadhappy@gmail.com. If you email me I promise you a […]
I don’t know if you’ve seen that slam poem, but you should. You know the one by the guy who has bipolar disorder where he says “I think a lot about killing myself, not like a point on a map but rather like a glowing exit sign at a show that’s never been quite bad enough to make me want to leave” and then goes on to talk about the future and make you cry? I watched that poem once and I remember that line sticking with me, always in the back of my head, always there when I was feeling like doing it.
I think my method would […]