So I just got a call I have to go away to a psychiatric hospital for a while… I have to leave tomorrow… Oh well we all knew this was going to happen….
So last night, Cordless suggested I write a cook book for zombies. Which reminds me, I’m deathly afraid of zombies. I whole heartily believe they do exist. Mass exposure is inevitable.
Do you believe?
Here’s why I do:
I use to work in the pharmaceutical industry.I’ve been to hidden under ground labs, labs inside of caves, research facilities the size of cities; complete with apartments, schools, movie theaters, fire and police. I’ve been to labs protected with sniper guard towers, razor wire and attack dogs. It’s unbelievable, I know, but I’ve been there. That is with about the lowest security clearance possible. How deep is that rabbit […]
How do I tell my angry, complaining mother that:
“NO- You are not accompanying me tomorrow to the hospital for the follow-up” (after being sent to the E.R.)
How do I bring it up?
She’s going to react like, “SHUT THE HELL UP YOU BLOODY (SWEAR WORDS) You got yourself into this! Stupid idiot! Now I have to come” (complain).
Help?
So my boyfriend and his friends are talking about strip clubs in front of me while we are playing cards. And I threw out there that I am not ok with him going to one. He said that’s ok. Then I told him to expect me to be mad if you go. He has the nerve to tell me ok, I’ll stll gobto one anyways. Fuck you. If he goes to one knowing im not ok with it I’m done with him. That is not ok with me at all. You can tell me what I can and cannot do, but I can’t? Fuck you.
My stepdad is an asshole. I saw my therapist today, and she said to try different things to distract myself from the voices and such because they’ve been bad lately, so I thought I’d attempt to watch TV for an hour or so with my mum and stepdad. It is something I regret even thinking of, and it has made everything so much more worse.
Despite sitting basically mute, with the one off offer of a cup of tea, my stepdad yelled at me within 45 minutes. My dogs had just been outside for the sixth time in the space of 15 minutes, and I was […]
http://14572.greatrv.net/mobile/vehicle/24473042
That’s the home I got my heart set on. It’s affordable. It’s luxurious. It’s all Alan.
Side note, is it odd I feel Alan is the real me and my real name is just my “username” for the real world?
I’m trying to build myself up. Trying to stay focused. I’m trying to reach out for help. I see every step as do or die.
The negative backlash from my spouse is maniacal. From bawling she loves me, to fine just go now, to just kill yourself… yet she acknowledges her inconsistency, she still fails to understand how years of being abused has worn me.
So, mentally she’s […]
Anxiety? Social, specifically. I do – mine is so bad that I’m totally non-functional in life. I can’t do what other people do without extreme anxiety. I don’t see this getting better, at least not without a heroic effort (which I don’t have in me anymore, and anyway, I’d have to spread my heroic effort energies among lots of other problems which would mean none would truly be solved.) So, anyone…?
Howdy. It’s highly probable that I’ll be dead within few days, so I figured I might share my cool ass story with you, but halfway through I realised that it’s not like somebody cares or that I care I’m being cared for.
So, to anyone passing through, have a good one. See ya (nope).
What’s the point
We are going to die
So why does it matter
Does anything actually matter
I should end it quicker
I make no difference to anyone
There’s nothing left to be happy about anymore
I am going to die anyway
I think this photo will be the wrong way around when it posts, but oh well.
I finally went to see Deadpool yesterday, so of course I had to draw him. I don’t really like the way this turned out, but I decided to post it anyway since no one else will look at it. So, despite not leaving my room until 3 or 4 in the afternoon, I still had a productive day.
UGHH.
I’m so tired.
So drained.
My best friend is moving Friday and the guy I have feelings for might be in jail.
How nice..
I’m only a junior in high school yet so much bullshit surrounds me.
I cut (yet again) about 3 hours ago after 2 years of having gotten over it. Yeah, it sucks… I did it in the middle of a party. I was the only depressed asshole there and no one noticed or gave a damn.
So… yeah… how much time does it take for a scar to heal?
This month, I was a victim of abuse. Twice. No, not “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”, it’s “treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly”. I’ve been abused many times now, but I think this month is the worst.
Abuse story 1:
So, one day I was in class, didn’t finish my work, so I was supposed to stay back for recess, but I didn’t want to. The teacher dragged my collar (I was about 3-5 meters away from the class when this happened) all the way to the classroom door, and threw me. I hit something, so I got […]
Morning: I was sad and scared of taking the exams. I was feeling pressured too. And little. So I ran away.
Traffic. The driver made us go. I got some money back and walked. While walking I thought of it as a punishment for running away. But rode another ride halfway. I’m a half ass lol.
I stopped at a convenience store to get a drink. And walked home.
I took out the stuffs I bought yesterday. One of them is the cards from cardcaptor sakura. It is said it can be used for divination too. So, I arranged it. Somehow, I got motivated to do something. Like […]
You sewed your secrets
Into my skin
So when my seams come undone,
I spill your sorry words
Right now, I have a ton of anxiety about having just thrown away money on Amazon. I ordered my make-at-home pain & skin cream ingredients to where I work, and like always the universe has to screw me. Since when does the post office deliver on holidays and Sundays?? So, yeah, I just got a notice that everything I ordered was left at the “front desk/reception” when there really is no front desk. There is a janitor on standby to greet people but that’s it. The bank there closed at 1pm so I don’t know if the building would even be open. So I just fucking lost […]
I’m planning on making some horror-themed SP skits and I want to use specific fears. So, what phobia does everyone have? My phobia is pediophobia or fear of dolls…. So, yes… Chucky freaks me out. It will feature lots of black comedy.
And with this now we die
Standing at the edge of the world
Uncertainty calling as the page unfurls
Fortune, heaven or hell
Shedding my body of this mortal shell
Black steel and iron
A lion heart is forged from these bones
Fear not, the discontent you hide
Awake from the slumber and define this time
No fear to pay the price
And with this now we die
Ashes to ashes
The ocean crashes
Louder and louder it cries
Over and over
The sands wash over
Facing, embracing the tides
And with this now we die
And with this now we die
Screaming violence into the void