Is…
Drum roll…
Sleep, beautiful peaceful sleep. It’s the closest thing to not existing. I wish I could sleep for the rest of my life and never wake up again.
How couldn’t I be suicidal in a world where everything is go go go, accomplish as much as you can, be creative, be social… When all I want to do is pass out permanently.
Nighty night
The one aspect that truly defeats me further when I’m already down is inability to connect and converse with people. It’s just not about having a basic conversation, it’s about fluid connection, something that comes very natural to so many people and yet I’m so terrible at it.
Sorry in advance for the following pessimistic outlook.
Even on this site I notice that people form friendships and root for each other, meanwhile I’m just ending up being a lurker feeling like I’m more fucked up than anyone else. I’m unable to add a proper comment, all I can do is write something very generic or explain something that I […]
I feel like nothing . I am nothing. I don’t do anything anymore . Today I skipped my job interview because I was tired and I was scared . I never used to be like this ? I’m terrified of being judged . So I didn’t go .
I have another tomorow so I’ll try to go … But I’ve been having social anxiety for months now . People used to say I was a social butterfly.
I’ve been thinking about suicide a lot lately . There is nothing in my life that makes me remotely happy. Absolutely nothing . Probably eating. But suicide is the […]
Deleting all my social media last summer was the best thing I did. This is what I found:
1. It’s only use is for people to show off what they have. It’s a ego thing.
2. You loose friends . I lost every single one of my friends. I was cut off from the “real world”, but wasn’t I the one really living in the real world?
3. Everything online is a lie. The Internet and social media is just a place where people can be someone that they’re not. Life’s shitty , I don’t blame them.
4. You gain confidence. I didn’t spend hours looking at […]
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27 and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
http://en.nothingisreal.com/wiki/Why_I_Will_Never_Have_a_Girlfriend
This is dated and i have a few more things against me on top of the original writers criteria. 1 im fat. 2 i have horrible social anxiety 3 people are expected to be more promiscuous ive been told repeatedly by women “anyone can find someone” no ***** you are a beautiful young woman i am an ugly unconfident old male. 4 i dont want someone with kids and 5 i have a sort of social ptsd from years of rejections. It does something to your confidence when you see this face of repulsion on women. It makes me feel so disgusting. It made […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
There’s this boy who has the same age as me, we live in the same province, our schools were different, we’re friends of friends, he follows me in social media. I LIKE HIM SO MUCH SINCE 7TH GRADE. He doesn’t even know that I exist.
…THE END…
I really ought to be festive this time of year.
But my moods are getting me down. Literally
I’ve made a plan for January. Once Christmas is over. I will try to kill myself again.
I can’t do it before now. Because it’s too close to Christmas. As much as I don’t care I still care about how my family feel. I can’t have the anniversary of my death this close to Christmas every year.
But January would give them time to feel more detatched from it by that time next year.
I think I’ve found a more permanent way of doing it this time.
I just need somewhere to write […]
but girls still like me???? I don’t get it at all. Whenever I am in class I just put on my headphones and bob my head and groove, even sing at times. \I also have a bit of social anxiety, yet I don’t know. I don’t get what they see in me.
I used to have times I was socially inept and a total loser, but I grew from all those experiences. I might still have a long way to go… But if you take care of yourself, and keep your mind strong then one day it’ll get better and better…
I am such a weirdo, that […]
Hello everyone. I am new to this site. I wanted to share my views on suicide, as I feel very uncomfortable discussing this kind of thing with people I know in real life. I don’t want them to worry about me. I also don’t want them to try preventing anything that might prevent me from doing the ultimate deed. I felt I needed to at least share some of my views with others, so here I am now.
I guess I should tell a bit about myself. I am a 23-year old male nihilist, that is someone who believes there to be no inherent objective value […]
It has been quite a while since I last posted hasn’t it SP? I wonder if anyone on here remembers me. Anyways to the story……….
I am surprised that I am still here on this planet. But I guess the primary reason I haven’t killed myself was because of a repetition of parasuicides. Well life has been getting significantly worse for me socially, economically however I am doing quite well and I do have a lot of money, but regardless of that the problem that I face the most is social connection with other humans.
I decided to write a 5,000 word document about how I wanted […]
What is it that keeps dragging me back to this point, wondering whether it’s worth living?
In short, fear. My constant companion, though it fluctuates. Sometimes the intense panic of social anxiety. Others the restless despair of a perceived future. It gnaws away in the back of my mind when I try to relax or enjoy myself. It chases me through my dreams.
It is always there, telling me that something is terribly wrong, requiring all my attention – that nothing else can be enjoyed until it is resolved.
So, what is it that I’m so afraid of? At route, it’s that who I am is fundamentally unacceptable to other […]
Hello. How are you?
I have a bit of another social problem. See, I have self-harmed for a long time, and I know how to deal with in. i.e. hiding the scars, dealing with the problems on your own, making sure no body finds out. That kind of deal. I’ve sat on that side of the fence for a long, long time – then I just left the park entirely.
It seems I have entered into someone else’s park, but I’m sitting on the other side of the fence. Today I discovered the cuts on a friend’s wrists. I say friend, its a very loose term […]
This will be my 2nd post here…. it is quite long, read at your own time, speed, risk, whatever………
I honestly do not see life getting any better for me, it might have been around 2 weeks since my last post and I should give more time for my life to “improve.” I have yet to find the right person to talk to about my problems in life, I do not want to talk to a counselor about it because I have tried that many times while I was in middle school and not only did it not help at all, they said your typical cliche […]
Hello,
Well, I’m anxious to an extreme point right now about future events and was hoping for some advice because I have no one else to turn to right now and I am desperate for some guidance or reassurance, or whatever.
My problem is that I have been invited to a drinking session with nine other close friends for Halloween at which I am praying to stay over night (for obvious reasons and because of the company). The issue is that my mother is doubtful of letting me stay the night and the concept is only a possibility if she meets the host’s mother. The problem here is […]
Someone I love nearly died a week ago from today. I had a person that I developed a friendship with the past year and a half. They helped me out a lot, and quite honestly they surprised me. But when I was in the emergency room and I called them and texted them that I needed them I got no answer. They never bothered to see how I was doing or what had happened. But they had the time to get on social media but couldn’t bother to reply to me. I almost lost someone I loved and I was alone there was no one […]
I’m a very cheerful person, in fact way too cheerful. I’m intensely outgoing and introverted, it’s hard for me to ever talk without having a smile on my face. I’m notorious among my peers for having a wild sense of humor. Nobody ever believes me when I tell them that I am in fact very depressed, and have been for a very long time. It’s very hard for me to be by myself because I get plagued by feelings of anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Most of the latter due to boredom. I am always bored. It’s something I’ve complained about from a very young age, […]
I pretty much wrapped up my Bioethics Agenda for my book, now I’m working on my economic platform. I called it PETHUnomics
P = Practical
E = Efficiant
T = Transformative
H = Humanitarian
U = Utilitarian
i believe in a massive overhaul of the educational and corrections system. I also believe in better social safety nets for the poor. Unfortunately, my plan will cost a lot of money. To offset this, I think we are gonna have to make some painful cuts to great programs in the name of incredible ones.
ill start off with the most controversial one – spending cuts for the National Endowment for the Arts, and the […]
It’s safe to say I’ve fucked up my life pretty thoroughly. To the point where it feels like there’s no way back. This is who I am. It’s not some temporary blip. It’s a consistent reflection of my thoughts and feelings.
I’m so far outside normal human life that it’s scary. I turned 28 last week, but a large part of my thinking and behaviour is still trapped in childhood. And I can’t see any way to catch up now. I can fake a degree of social confidence for a while, but it’s easy to see through. I haven’t developed any of the skills that most […]
Please log in to report posts