i am trapped between suicide and survival. i want to die because i cannot live. but there are so many obstacles, and i am so tired… i don’t want to do anything substantial. i want to lay on the road and let someone else do all the work, but that would be incredibly selfish of me. (i know we’re not supposed to talk about methods, but that’s also a terrible method. don’t try it.) i want to fall asleep in the tub. sometimes i think about driving to the ocean and swimming until i can’t anymore, but i’m too afraid of the water. i feel […]
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I want to die so badly but I’m a *****. Even my mother said I should kill myself. I feel so overwhelmed. I dotn dsevre to live I hate myself fuck this I wish I was dead or horribly beaten. I don’t fucking deserve this. Please someone tell me how to kill myself.
Does it sound weird when I say that I feel beautiful on the inside but every time I look in the mirror I see someone who is ugly and worthless. That will not get anywhere in life. Does anyone know what I’m talking about? Any kind of helpful tips to not feel so down on myself. I would appreciate any kind of tips!
A long time ago, when I was still in high school, the English teacher’s son killed himself.
He hung himself from a tree in the back yard, using a dog leash.
There are two things that still stick in my memory all these years.
One, the teacher had trouble acknowledging the truth of what happened. For a long time, she stayed in denial. She insisted it must have been an “accident”, because she couldn’t accept the fact that he had been suffering enough to make this kind of choice.
Everyone else in the community knew the truth of it, and they were sad and shocked and confused (and whatever […]
Life is beautiful!!
Source: www.Reddit.com
parents: Congratulations, little boy or girl! You’re going to exist!
embryo: Oooh, what does that entail?
parents: So many things! You’re going to be sentient, first of all. You will experience pleasure and pain. You will feel a wide variety of emotions, some of which will be augmented by your human intelligence!
embryo: That sounds complicated.
parents: It will be! The human experience is such a complex one, due to our high intelligence combined with our primitive instincts! We are probably the only creatures on the planet that have existential woes!
embryo: ….
parents: In fact, we’re creating […]
I had a conversation today that inspired this post.
Imagine the sick people who need organs to survive, they WANT to survive, they WANT to LIVE. If they had a method, I mean doctors, to kill patients without damaging the needed body parts or organs, they could give them to the sick, they could give them their desired LIFE. Instead of this they let people die from hanging, ODing etc. MISERABLY and MEANINGLESSLY. I know that there are certain states of mind when some can’t tell the difference between reality and their own imagination, but then leave those out of this chance. There are a shitload […]
does anyone else get the feeling when your walking everyone is judging you? that they are looking at you with eyes filled with sympathy. that you’ll never be good enough for them. or pretty enough? they feel sorry for your ass because they know that you’ll never be enough for anyone. and when you feel happy for a couple days and someone has to be a complete ***** and ruin it. yeah? because same.
I’m tired. Exhausted. My body wants to curl up into a fetal position and sleep for the next 2000 years.
Maybe life is better in 4016.
I you see, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to put my family through such sorrow and grieving. I love them all too much to chose to leave in sudden death. I don’t want to leave my mother wondering what she could have done better, or if she had said the right thing. I couldn’t do that to her, she doesn’t deserve that.
But I want to leave. I never used to be all that religious, but recently something has changed for […]
Im not going to give up on you. Im hurt i feel abandoned but i still love you. I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t want you to cut off your support. Im going to give you and anyone else some veteran advice. Dont assume death when planning suicide. People survive gunshots and trips off the golden gate bridge. Rare but true. No method is 100 percent. To destroy things in order to make it easier on your suicide only makes your life worse in the high likelihood of you living. I say that to say this. You’re already alive longer […]
What does an SP (sad) party look like?
Like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyQhDlzbPbQ
I’ll be the DJ cat with the matrix-y sunglasses lol
Which sad cat will you be? And who’s gonna be bringing the fun party drugs???
I know someone will be bringing the Jager. 😛
For one, my 2nd job is turning into my main job. My boss there is moving to LA and it’s going to be member-run. If we want full time pay, it’s up to us to get the donations to make it happen and sustain paid staff. In a sense, I got what I wanted. I thought I wanted to start businesses and nonprofits many times, but now I’ve inherited a nonprofit. I still worry about being homeless in April when the people I rent from move.
I was put on to doing some kind of presentation for the Buddhist center and it turned out to be […]
It’s sad.
I feel sad.
These last 4 days (counting today) have been so tiring. I’ve been so emotionally drained it’s ridiculous.
And it’s all because of a guy.
A guy that doesn’t even know my name.
And the worst is, I don’t even think he wants to know.
I know his; I know what grade he’s in; what lunch rotations he has, yet he knows nothing about me.
What I’m questioning is why I can’t seem to let it all go.
I want to let it go but it feels like as if there’s nothing I’m holding on to.
I like him. I do. But he doesn’t feel the same way. I don’t […]
It feels like my depression isn’t as bad, but it’s only because I feel so emotionless now. I can barley have a conversation with someone, I’m not interested in having a conversation with anyone. My mind feels blank but my head is full.
I have been like this for a couple of days. I have been depressed for a long time but now I finally feel so empty, a lot of the time I’m just staring mid air thinking about nothing. I have no interest in anything and most things just seem boring to me now. I just feel so hopeless, purposeless, like nothing.
So it has been awhile since i was last on here. I found someone who made me forget about my shit life and for awhile i forgot about wanting to end my life. I have been through some messed up stuff but i have always put on a smile and played my role as the good daughter, the dependable best friend, the happy coworker, etc. But this person i fell in love with broke all of those masks. I cant hide behind anything anymore. I cant pretend that i give a shit about anything any more. Why would he want me? Im no good for […]
I need someone to talk to..
Yeah, I’m still around. Don’t want to go back to another week of work. ugh. Well, just musing a lot about the $1.3 Billion powerball. I truly think whoever wins will get killed, most likely by the government because they won’t let some average schmuck walk away with that kind of money! I truly don’t think they would have that much come into contact with someone who’s not already in the 1%. We’re all outsiders, even the everyday yuppies you see out and about. We’re not allowed to have that money.
Anyway, even if I did win the lotto and lived to tell about it, things […]
hey guys, would just like to say I hope everyone has had a safe weekend. I understand life may be difficult now, but as humans we are capable of great things. Remeber that you are never alone, you will always have someone to talk to on here; this is just a stage. You are the star player in your life, if you don’t like the way things are, try and change them, if you can’t, work to change things for the best. I know that feeling you have when first thing you do in the morning when you open eyes, is question your existence on […]
Lastnight was a dark dark time for me, I had everything almost ready to end my life. Then I received an email from someone on here. In my worst time I had someone who actually cared and didn’t even know me. That email brought happiness and light back into me, and I opened my eyes for the first time – my life hasn’t been easy and I felt like it was the last hit I could take!
my brake up – she replaced me with another man – she left me for dead – this was my worst love and her pluge will only continue to […]
She’s the reason why I’m happy and at the same time she’s also the reason why I get depressed. She inspires me to do my best in everything and at the same time she’s the reason why I feel uninspired to do anything. I know it sounds weird.
I feel like I’m a third wheel to a relationship that should obviously work out and yet nothing’s happening. I’m stuck to be some girl’s friend while she and my guy friend are all head over heels each other but they aren’t even together. It fucking sucks to think that since they aren’t even together, what I should […]