I framed this at work yesterday and just love it. Cant give artist credit cos unknown to me. Once again pictures have to speak for me. (Was going to post this morning but ran outta time).
Tag:
speak
Lately I’ve been skeptical
Silent when I would used to speak
Distant from all around me
You witness me fail and become weak
Life is overwhelming
Heavy is the head that wears the crown
I’d love to be the one
Disappoints you when I don’t fall down
But you don’t understand when
I’m attempting to explain
Because you know it all
And I guess will never change
But you might need my hand when
You’re falling in your hole
Your.disposition
I’ll remember
When I’m letting go of You and me
Were through
So rearranged
The only two friends that i have in college do not speak to me anymore.
I really liked them as my friends and i build a great friendly relationship with them but I’ve been noticing some strange behavior from them.
My two friends are guys and i’m a girl.
Anyways, we are all in the same class and I’ve been noticing that when i have a conversation with one of them- the other walks away.
And For example- we wrote a script individually for the class we are in and i asked both of them to be in it and one of them ask me […]
Before I leave you all, I have one request.
Let those that I love know I love them. Let those who know me have a blessed life. Let those who I trust know where to speak.
As for the woman I miss and hope to fix one day down another life;
I hope you know that without you my demons overpower me. This is not your fault. Not your battle. As for you, I wish you find yourself. I found me in you.
I also lost myself in your glorious love. In your pleasant surprise of joy and truth. I will stay forever lost in the time that […]
Everybody in this house just doesn’t want to exist. I heard my grandma saying this and how am I supposed to help her when I don’t even know how to find the reason to live? I’d like to help her but sometimes her mind is just not in as good condition as it used to be. My mother blames my grandma for the fact that my mom’s condtion is worse. That’s because about one or two years ago, when my sister and I were at school, grandma could help mom walk. In this way, she was still exercising. But when grandma went to the hospital, […]
i mean we all are tired, i’m not special.
i’m alone. lot’s of people are, i’m not special.
I’m angry
I want to trust again, to be able to open myself up.
one of my 40 “friends” on facebook noticed i left and it took 8 weeks for him to do so.
my housemate is a deadbeat and i always cover his part of the rent.
i havent spoken to my mom in at least a decade.
the only people that would miss me are those that just use me for my income anyway.
i’m a social nightmare, so i dont make friends. never speak first. never intrude….. its not that i don’t […]
Good morning all, feeling alot better today, but as you all know, that’s subject to change. Even though I’m new here I have noticed alot of love and caring, and have received it from the people on this site and I just have to say thank you, like I’ve shared with a couple of people, it helps me to vent and let all of this poison out instead of letting it build up to a boiling point like I used to when I was younger. But then to receive kind words from complete strangers who are non-judgemental and have their own problems, […]
Imagine you are in an emotional crisis and you need to feel comfort and consolation, so you turn to the photo album you keep. You open it, hoping to find good memories from those few moments in the past when everything seemed okay, even if only for a short while.
But when you open the photo album, it is mostly blank and empty. 90% of the pictures have been removed, and you are left with nothing more than what your spotty memory can recall.
This is how I feel when I go back through SP, trying to re-live good memories from favorite fun conversations in the past– […]
The past so many regrets so many mistakes not even from me but from her so what my soul mate came back for me so much damage has been done and she has put herself in a complicated situation she can’t back out of her future will be complicated for so long even though she wants to share it with me now sge cant it was suppose to be our future the perfect future not this soon I’ll speak to a recruiter I still can’t have the perfect dream life might as well have the perfect dream death
After my test tomorrow with the piza place thay interviewed me this week. And I say good bye to my dog, write or type or video recored everything im done. Im fucking done. I cant handle this anymore. Im not going through this again. Im not going to be homeless. Im not goint to be jobless. Im not going to be carless. Im not going to suffer being alone. Im not going through this. I cant take it! I cant fucking take it! I hate myself! I hate everything! I HATE MY LIFE! Im done im fucking done!
IM SORRY SP! IM SORRY EVERYONE! IM SORRY! […]
I can’t sleep once again. It’s been like this for a while. I just can’t seem to fall asleep. Staying asleep has just started to become a struggle. There is so much negativity in my life right and and all I’m able to do is sit here and watch. Rocketman, you are my official SP buddy. I’d like to speak with you, I found myself needing to come back here once again.
I’m still here. And I’m still struggling. I’ve been struggling in the background. Amd it’s time to speak once again. Hello SP.
For the first time someone envied me. It was my sister nonetheless. She envied my temporarily contentment and mistook it for happiness. Her tear stained cheeks, and hurt smile stirred the inner demons inside of me. The ones that thrived on the lost, the broken. It took a fairly decent amount of my mental health to hug and talk to her about what was bothering her and then sharing some of my *gag* feelings. I had to explain to her that in that moment I am content, not happy but i am okay with just being alive for now. That within an hour or so […]
In July of 2015 I attempted suicide. I tried to overdose on a full prescription of Xanax. I was prescribed quite a bit. What happened between when I took the bottle, and when I woke up over 24 hours later in the ER is a blur to me. I would hardly call myself a “suicide survivor” because all I can think about is dying. I have always been depressed, mostly due to my severe, crippling anxiety. I can hardly function and that is no stretch of the truth. My desires in life I can never achieve. I become paralyzed when I interact with anyone who […]
When life has tainted you, it’s permanent. No matter how hard you try to change or deal with whatever issues it caused it doesn’t go away, because it is now part of who you are. At least that’s the case with me I can’t necessarily speak for others when it comes to this. I was sexually molested as a child and growing up all through my life. Not constant but there were intermittent instances and only 2 were more serious cases. I try to ignore the fact that it happened I never really think of it and I continue with my life. But the truth […]
I want to pin you down
and kiss the breath out of your lungs
You’re perfect-
I mean it
To me, you always will be.
I knew that you were a beautiful person
From the moment I met you-
I could feel it.
I think-
you complete me.
The void is gone
when I’m with you.
Nothing hurts anymore.
I think-
I was wrong
It’s too much
You’re too much,
I just-
I want to be there for you,
I really do
And I want to love you
Unconditionally,
But
I’ve let you down
(too many times).
I know I promised,
but as you said,
I’m like the rest.
You should hate me.
Why don’t you hate me?
Just
Stop
Please
I think-
It’s better we never speak again
Everyday I wake up trying to predict my day as being good/average, yet it always turns out to be bad through complete isolation, random stressers appearing out of nowhere, and deception from practically everyone I meet in society. Why are there so many Hippocratic values being expressed by such inconspicuous people, for when I attempt to befriend somebody natural instinct and hormones take over their mind and they become hostile towards me when all I want to do is make a friend. All of my old friends have betrayed or disappeared on me when I need them the most, which is during this unpredictable time. […]
When i was a freshman, so 14, i tried to commit suicide for the first time. I can’t really explain why. It’s two years later and it still feels like it was all a dream. Sometimes it hits me all at once. Out of nowhere.. like around Christmas, i went and saw my youngest sisters choir concert. I was watching, listening. My dad on one side, my brother on the other. And it hit me.. all at once. Without warning.. as those things tend to do. I looked up at the stage, seeing her sing. My throat got that horrible dry feeling and suddenly the […]
The regret and sadness is really hard today (and most days). Things could be so different, better- maybe not good, but better.
As it is, I may never see my ex again. She’s my best friend, despite everything that’s happened, still the best relationship I’ve ever had. I can only hope that after some time she might be willing to speak to me. It’s so painful to think that if I had just left things alone, if I hadn’t forced her to speak to me, then we might’ve actually started talking again in February.
And I still would’ve had my dog, my baby. This hurts so much. […]
Uhhh, hey. Been a while since I posted here. I’ve been reading alot on SP though. I’ve decided to make a post now because I did say to Shepard I would try and be more active. Beware, if you’re reading this, it will likely be quite a lengthy post.
Well, as I type this, my family and I are currently driving towards Christchurch (city in New Zealand). Surprisingly, I’ve enjoyed the drive. It’s been good to get out and go somewhere this holidays, because so far, all I’ve done is work, play video games and hate myself. How exciting.
There’s actually something I really did want to […]
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