posted this a few months ago, made a few edits. Feeling alone and misunderstood.
Where is the sunshine?
The end of the pain?
Because I am damaged,
I can’t stand in the rain.
The skies have been dark.
The wind is still whipping.
How am I standing?
What keeps me from tipping?
Because i am damaged,
My limbs tatered and broken,
The life that lived in me
Is now slowly chokin (g).
The storm pushes on with violence and fury.
My leaves are all falling,
Like the snow […]
The pain, forged by both fond memory and misery…
Like an old sports injury.
It used to be sharp and jarring-
Now, a sporadic shrug.
There was a time when I fought…
Valiantly, to become the unbroken.
But each chip of me grew smaller after each shattering.
And the world now seems to have lost its tape dispenser.
Clocks, aplenty though,
As they mull over and measure their minutes
Their support turns to spite, toughness…
We all grow tired,
Just in different ways.
But is the given that we will grow
Or that we can stand to remain tired?
lately I’ve been completely hopeless, alone, and depressed. I feel sorry for everyone in my life, having to deal with me, I’m so pathetic. I cut myself this whole school year and recently my parents found out, they haven’t looked at me the same, i hate feeling pity from others based on the choices i made, I’m such a *****, i don’t deserve the kindness. I’ll never forgive myself on the choices i’ve made, i’m done, done with the self pity, the apologies, the secrets, and most of all I’m done with myself, i can’t even look at myself in he mirror anymore, I’m ugly […]
I cannot take this anymore. I know my life isn’t as bad as some peoples but I’m just really struggling.
Firstly, I hate school. I’m really struggling at keeping up and my grades are usually quite good but I’m not going to be able to keep that up much longer. I dislike every subject I do, and the subjects I loved, my teachers are crap. I also can’t stand the people, there’s always those ones that talk all through class and it’s stopping me from learning. Everything at school is making me tired and I can hardly hold myself together anymore.
Other than school I do three […]
Lately, I’ve noticed that my ability to rationalize has been strained, especially when it comes to decisions related to expanding my relationships with others.
On the one hand, there is the side of me that’s been institutionalized by cultural norms–the person that wants to get a girlfriend, wants to have lots of friends, and just wants people to like me in general.
But running counter to the institutionalized side of me, is the altruistic me, who believes that having any of those things would be selfish of me and that those relationships would be detrimental to those other entities.
And then there’s the third side that says, none of it really […]
I’m honestly sorry anyone’s even attempting to read this load of self-pity.
Am I really just a dog? I can’t be, my family likes dogs. So what does that make me? My brother and sister both talk to me as if I were a dog. My parents stand by and either continue it, or tell me to stop being such a baby about it. I know that at the end of the day, I am nothing and furthermore that my family sees me and recognizes the same thing; I am worthless.
I’ve honestly got the best friends I […]
I’ll have no choice but to kill myself. I know how much harder it is to do and how much more painful it will be, being as obese as I am. But I have no choice. $1200 to the IRS this year with a potential $6000 for next year, only making half of what I made last year, $800 rent to not be homeless, then they demand $500/mo now for my student loans when I don’t even fucking have money to eat any god damn thing at all now. Life isn’t fucking worth it. I can’t be homeless or survive prison being unable to walk […]
I’ve been told I’m this ,that , and all things under the sun.
yelled at swore at , treated worse then the dirt we stand apon ..
Been mentally and physically abuse
been made and out that I’m a nobody nothingness ..
And they don’t ask how I’m doing
they don’t see that I’m fulling
that I can’t breath
that I’m filling up my body with discuss
my soul is literally nothing
my mind is full of hate
and I’m giving up .
Everyday I constantly think about ending it and I can’t stand it. I think now is the time to go. I don’t want to leave my family and friends but I don’t want to live in a world where I have to fake all my emotions to everyone. I tried to tell them but they ignored me. Nobody will take me seriously.
I want to leave today.
This Sunday is gonna be it. I can’t keep waking up in a panic and acting out of control.
I’ll be trying the exit bag with helium.
Failing that, well, I am buying a bunch of scalpels. Maybe I can just land on them? I’d have to rig them to stand up, and I’d have to land with my neck outstretched. Sounds like a big botch job waiting to happen. I don’t think I can actually handle the pain of slitting my own throat, even with some Orajel rubbed on the skin.
My morning was reasonably okay-ish, until I found out my stepdad had been our drinking since 12. He came home around 4 and he and my mum had an argument, so he left to go drinking again. He came back around 10:30 and was completely drunk to the point where he could barely stand up.
Since the argument I’ve been feeling weird. It’s like how I felt last year before I went ‘crazy’ – for lack of a better word – for a week or so. My mind is racing, and my energy is building up. I feel like cleaning the house, but going for a […]
I am the warrior
I buckel up my saddle and I go into battel. I sharpen my sword to make a joke of the horde. I never got orders so I go to general quarters “heads or tails” I ask. stand fast or advance?
My opponents are ghosts; I swing my sword and the ambush is a hoex… They are my own folks
I hope this isn’t breaking the rules… I’m a 48 year old man. Been kind of a rough and tough guy all my life. Never done drugs, though. Drank alot, smoked a little weed years and years ago… those were the days…. anyway, my whole world has come tumbling down. I know, you’ve never heard that before, but it has! I was married for 15 years and hated most every minute of it. Finally grew the balls to get out in 2010. Soon after I met the most beautiful angel! And, of course, immediately fell in love! It was wonderful! We were together for a […]
I feel that friendship is more fragile and more important compared to a relationship. I don’t know, but it’s like whenever my friends suddenly act cold, it hurts so fucking bad I just add a few more cuts just to be able to feel. Fucking hell it makes no sense.
Honestly, it really fucking terrifies my how much of a hold this person has over me. All she has to do is say a word, and I think I’ll just fucking crumble. She’s not even the person I’m in a relationship with. But I’d rather lose him than her. It’s really difficult and just tiring to […]
Some of you know I’ve been trying to learn German for almost a year now.
I love listening to music in that language, and my favorite German artists/groups are Revolverheld and Peter Fox.
Here is one of my favorites, because the words fit exactly how I feel sometimes. It’s called “Lass Uns Gehen”, which translates to “Let Us Go”. The lyrics are about that feeling when you just can’t stand it anymore and need to GET OUT.
I think most of us can relate to that here.
Ever want to walk past one of your co workers and just slap them in the back of the head as you go by???? I do I do!!! I cant stand that little sweet voice, hiding an evil mean person, that people don’t see past, because she is little and cute. All I ever hear is her talking crap about everyone. And for some reason she now thinks she is my boss even though I have been there 3 years longer. Driving me nuts
just A thought If by some miracle our generation makes it to be of an old age we are going to a scared as hell tattooed to the brim and have every mental and physical problems A though Z
let alone thinking of what will become of the environment we live in so basically we don’t stand a chance ever way
So, I ran away from home because I can’t stand my sister and mom anymore. I’m better on my own for now. I still feel empty and can’t get over my miscarriage. But along the way something changed. I met someone. A guy. He knows what has happened to me and has helped me through it even though I’m really difficult. I have feelings for him now. I’m confused and scared. But now he is not replying to me anymore. I thought he felt the same way and now I feel a little bit worse than before. Why whenever I let someone in […]
So…in a couple of hours I’m going to be seeing my GP for the first time in a verrrry long time. I’m on medication for high blood pressure because I’m overweight. Problem is I’m a lot heavier than the last time I saw him, so my BP is probably through the roof. He’ll be wanting to know why that is. How can I explain to him why I stuff myself with food when I still trying to figure it out myself! The real problem is that hubby insists on sitting in on these 10 minute slots with the doctor. Maybe I should […]
Perspective:
The staircase may ascend,
Or descend, it’s determined,
By where you begin.
This road of life may seem,
Long and narrow for some,
Or short and broad to others,
It depends on where you stand.
A path of stepping stones,
Has been laid to create an average, but you may have short legs, or a longer gate then those,
It was designed for.
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